Pokopalypse Now

We're with O'Fallon, Mo., Police Sgt. Phil Hardin: "You really can't make this stuff up."

Here we are, living in a world, a nation and a city with all sorts of real-life problems and possibilities, challenges sufficient to test anyone's mettle, and what Hardin and his fellow O'Fallon cops found themselves doing last Sunday morning was responding to robberies that allegedly were enabled by a smartphone game.

"Pokemon Go," released for mobile phones on July 5, has been sweeping the nation. We're neither smart enough nor young enough to explain it, but the hipsters at Vox.com tell us: "Building on the giant video game franchise created in the '90s by a Japanese insect collector and game developer, 'Pokemon Go' has become an instrument to take advantage of our nation's ADD nature, our reliance on smartphones, the warm fuzziness of nostalgia, and our human thirst for escapism."

We buy the escapism part. Apparently people with nothing better to do walk or drive around to various locations where their phones tell them one of 151 Pokemon game characters can be captured. In O'Fallon, police say, four suspects were arrested after targeting players "Pokemon Go" sent to a gas station on Highway K.

"People really need to watch what they're doing and make sure their kids understand where this game could lead them," said Hardin, who admitted that "younger, geeky officers" had to explain what was going on.

We share his concern. We're also concerned that when the apocalypse comes, it will look like a smartphone game.

Newt reinterprets the First Amendment

There are many reasons why Newt Gingrich didn't get the nod as Donald Trump's running mate on the GOP presidential ticket, and remarks like the one he made Friday on Fox News underscore why Trump made the right call.

Gingrich, the former House speaker, responded to the killings of at least 84 people in Nice, France, by telling Fox News' Sean Hannity that all people of a "Muslim background" in America should be required to take a test. "If they believe in sharia they should be deported," he said.

"Sharia is incompatible with western civilization. Modern Muslims who have given up sharia — glad to have them as citizens. Perfectly happy to have them next door," Gingrich added.

Sharia, which in Arabic means "way" or "path," is the articulation of rules by which Muslims should lead their lives. It forms the basis of the legal system in many Muslim countries, including close allies of the United States.

During the Clinton administration, Gingrich was second in the line of presidential succession behind Vice President Al Gore. And he was on Trump's short list as his vice presidential running mate. Yet he somehow seems to have forgotten the key part of the Constitution known as the First Amendment, which guarantees the right of every person to exercise his or her religion free of government interference. Gingrich's new interpretation should worry everyone.

Civilish service

The St. Louis Sheriff's office is the largest remaining bastion of political patronage jobs in the city. Most city jobs long ago became civil service positions, where qualifications, at least ostensibly, are more important than political connections.

With Sheriff Jim Murphy stepping down this year after seven terms, the Aug. 2 Democratic primary (the only one that counts in the city) drew a field of five would-be successors. Up for grabs: a $101,000 salary, use of a city-owned car and, perhaps most important, control of 173 jobs. Deputies transport prisoners to and from city jails, serve legal papers and provide courtroom security.

By time-honored tradition, the sheriff and the Democratic Central Committee work together to divvy up jobs. Murphy's long tenure brought a lot of stability. The election will probably go to the candidate who can best reassure ward committees that things won't change much.

But candidate Johnny Chester Sr. is trying something different. He told the 7th Ward Independent Democrats that he favors putting the office under civil service. But in a pitch to ward committees, he promised, "I will hire and keep, during my term, one male and one female on the payroll out of your ward."

Call it civil service-lite.

Be there ...

Molded melons. Freaky fruit. Call square watermelons what you will, but don't call them genetically modified. Pictures of the odd-looking melons are circulating on the internet, where The New York Times informed readers that the melons may be odd, but their appearance has nothing to do with engineering.

Japanese farmers grow them inside stiff boxes, where they naturally form to the shape of their containers. They were developed as a response to limited refrigerator space and are harvested before they ripen. Decorative? Yes. Tasty? Meh. Too bad because they sure are cute.

REPRINTED FROM THE ST LOUIS POST DISPATCH

Photo credit: Emilio Labrador