A friend recently told me they were dreading the holidays. I get it. Holidays can be stressful. The idea of socializing with relatives you don't see all the time or don't always get along with can feel a bit daunting. Whether it's because of political disagreements, a divorce or another hardship that's all your own, the holidays can be just plain hard.

Consider this your reminder to hold space for yourself. There is no right or wrong way to do the holidays and there should be no expectations. You do not have to endure anyone else's emotional projection or deflections. If someone is having a hard time and you're able to stay in it with them to help them through — awesome. If overreactions and drama punctuate the day and you just don't have the energy for that noise, it's OK to opt out of that scene.

The advice I gave my friend who happens to be traveling to visit family for the holidays is the same advice I'm offering to you now. It doesn't matter if you're traveling or staying home for the holidays. If the drama becomes too much — consider becoming a tourist.

I have fond memories of visiting interesting places that stemmed from either needing a break from the family or simply needing to steal some quality time with my son and husband. One of my favorite zoo experiences happened on the day after Thanksgiving. The temperatures had dropped into the 50s in South Texas where we were visiting family. Between uncommonly cold weather and Black Friday craziness, the zoo was nearly empty. It felt like we had the entire place to ourselves. We lingered at each habitat and soaked in every exhibit without having to worry about who was waiting for their turn. We loved it so much we want to make it our Black Friday tradition no matter what town we happen to be in for the holiday.

I've also explored historic houses while visiting Wilmington, North Carolina, and late-night ghost tours in Savannah, Georgia, with my daughter by my side. These excursions stemmed from the desire to escape unnecessary drama. We simply opted out and found someplace fun to explore.

This tourist advice doesn't only apply when there are travel plans involved. Sometimes you're the host and people are traveling to your house for the holiday. Create an itinerary. This is something my mom is really good at. Whenever we visit, she has all kinds of options for things to do and places to explore. I look forward to visiting her for this very reason. It's always fun. And if visitors don't want to do what's planned or suggested? Leave them to their own devices. You can still be a tourist in your own town. (You can also take an extra-long time at the grocery store.)

Everyone is in a different headspace for the holidays, and yes, sometimes life just requires us to take a break. Not everyone can handle all of that holiday cheer. Especially if they're facing hard times. It can make us feel insecure or dread socializing with people we rarely talk to otherwise. If this is how you feel this year, be kind to yourself. If this is someone you know, be kind to them, too. We all have our own challenges and don't always have the bandwidth to engage in debate or sit in a silent room filled with tension. And you don't have to.

This is your permission slip to make the most of this holiday season or ignore it altogether. Do whatever works for you, and escape like a tourist if you want to.

Do you know anyone who's doing cool things to make the world a better place? I want to know. Send me an email at [email protected]. Also, stay in the loop by signing up for her weekly newsletter at WriterBonnie.com. To find out more about Bonnie Jean Feldkamp and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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