Katiedid Langrock from Creators Syndicate https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid Creators Syndicate is an international syndication company that represents cartoonists and columnists of the highest caliber. en Wed, 30 Sep 2020 14:37:57 -0700 https://www.creators.com/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Katiedid Langrock from Creators Syndicate https://cdn.creators.com/features/katiedid-langrock-thumb.jpg https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid be2f32fba8d42cd4b786c4f1856d4ba6 Cinnamillennial for 09/26/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/09/20/cinnamillennial Sat, 26 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>I blame the cinnamon buns &#8212; or, more accurately, the lack of cinnamon buns.</p> <p>My husband and I decided to make a last-minute detour to get away from the West Coast smoke. And because I'm a planner &#8212; and this wasn't planned &#8212; I found the process of finding and booking us an RV campsite entirely overwhelming. How to pick a campground? Do we want one with trees or with bushes? A site that faces east or west? With red picnic tables or blue tables? How do people make such impossibly hard decisions? And then, there it was, the sweet, sweet answer. My mouth began to salivate as I clicked on "book." I knew nothing about the campsite other than it offered morning cinnamon buns. That was enough to know we'd made the right choice &#8212; a clear sign from the gooey delicious gods of carbs and spice. We were in for a treat.</p> <p>That is, until we rolled up and a sign on the door said, "Bakery closed for the season." Excuse me? Who does that? What kind of monster publicly announces an antidote to your woes in the form of hot, sticky salvation and then doesn't deliver? Is this some sort of a sick joke? The beginning to a horror flick like "Into the Woods"? Will the dough roller once used for crafting spiral-shaped snacks of pure delight now be used to pummel me to death the way the "bakery closed" sign pummeled my heart?<p>Updated: Sat Sep 26, 2020</p> 4597984b3f2b632a0ab982f4aa31979c Llama Mama in the COVID Age for 09/19/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/09/20/llama-mama-in-the-covid-age Sat, 19 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"Watch out. She spits," the teenager said.</p> <p>"She spits?" I asked.</p> <p>"Yeah, she's pregnant and peeved off."<p>Updated: Sat Sep 19, 2020</p> bb97dac39b6ab7e57ba1b4d895f899c9 Snore Survival for 09/12/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/09/20/snore-survival Sat, 12 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>Memoirs of a wife trying to sleep.</p> <p>RV life has led us to Northern California, which means it has led us to both forest fires and very low nighttime temperatures. I cannot be sure whether it is the coldness or the smoke that has impacted my dear husband so, but as we settled in to the campsite in the Golden State, my husband settled in to a new hobby: keeping the campsite awake with his snoring.</p> <p>Perhaps that's unfair &#8212; an overstatement, you may surmise. Hyperbole! Exaggeration! But, then, consider this. The other night, people here saw a bear traipsing through our campground, just a few sites away from ours. Then, suddenly, something scared him off. Could it have been the unsettling vibrations of loud snores echoing from my motorhome? Only the bear can say for sure, and I doubt he will want to relive such trauma.<p>Updated: Sat Sep 12, 2020</p> 985cb7851d03f09033d73e247e00d2d1 Port-a-Path for 09/05/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/09/20/port-a-path Sat, 05 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"At the port-a-potty, go south through the sage brush."</p> <p><span class="column--highlighted-text">That should've been a sign that this hike was going to be the dumps.</span></p> <p>I read the instructions on the Utah trails pamphlet again. We are on the hunt for dinosaur tracks. Surely, something that has been preserved for 125 million years can't be that hard to find. At the port-a-potty, we reapply sunscreen, check the compass attached to my son's junior ranger backpack, and head south.<p>Updated: Sat Sep 05, 2020</p> 063aeea2a4cc499fc439ca128feba3a3 Desert Driver for 08/29/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/08/20/desert-driver Sat, 29 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"Don't be scared," my driver said. "I'm going to take you a back way. We won't see another car for miles and miles."</p> <p>"OK," I said.</p> <p>"Also, I have a loaded gun next to me," my driver said. "I thought you should know. But don't be scared. You're going to be just fine."<p>Updated: Sat Aug 29, 2020</p> b2a86cce4bcb9b33ad0ffaa52c94edc2 Magic of Summer for 08/22/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/08/20/magic-of-summer Sat, 22 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"Hold tight to the magic of summer," I told my son this time last year. He'd just found out a few kids who'd broken his tiny heart in kindergarten were going to be in his first-grade class.</p> <p>"But how is it magic?" he asked, just as he had asked many previous times, needing to hear it again.</p> <p>"Summer changes you," I said. "You see new things. You do new things. You're challenged. You grow. You change &#8212; sometimes for the worse, most of the time for the better. So I want you to let people surprise you. See what the magic of summer delivered. See whether they sparkle with the magic. Allow them their new skin."<p>Updated: Sat Aug 22, 2020</p> ad066b902cfb6c7ec7df023d51291052 Propane in the Neck for 08/15/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/08/20/propane-in-the-neck Sat, 15 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"How's it going?" my mom texts.</p> <p>"Great! I think we've finally got this thing figured out!"</p> <p>The next day: <i> Huh. Why aren't the stabilizer jacks going down? </i><p>Updated: Sat Aug 15, 2020</p> ddd085e885bb1ab3edbab8b4a98ebc5a Lightning Bolts for 08/01/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/07/20/lightning-bolts Sat, 01 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"Why was Poseidon trying to kill us?" asked my 4-year-old.</p> <p>"It was Zeus," said my 7-year-old.</p> <p>"But we're on the water," said my 4-year-old.<p>Updated: Sat Aug 01, 2020</p> 4bcb661b66b532ecc6b6c2667352e78f Far and Away in the Future for 07/25/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/07/20/far-and-away-in-the-future Sat, 25 Jul 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>Time is a weird concept. Somehow my children have catapulted into the future and I have been sucked back in time. We're two weeks into our cross-country RV adventure, and my children are making Marty McFly (second movie) envious with all of their futuristic play. Teachers are zapped into our home on wheels. Online school comes equipped with virtual reality learning, with cartoon characters shaped like numbers zooming toward their heads as fast as you can count to infinity. They stare, open-mouthed, at the other kids in the RV parks, who are zipping around on motorized bicycles that would look highway-ready if they didn't come in neon green. Golf carts on hydraulics bounce up and down to the beat of the music blasting, matched by the lights emanating from under the carriage. And we once thought the DeLorean was cool. I bet those golf carts could hit 80 mph more quickly.</p> <p>While my kids are dabbling in the science of tomorrow, I'm living out my own movie experience, but it's less "Back to the Future" and more "Far and Away." Life is nonstop cleaning with a broom and a mop because a vacuum overwhelms the system and shuts off the power. Clothes are washed daily with a washboard because there is no room for a washer and dryer. And all food is cooked on an open fire or in our small kitchen. My most frequently used modern technology has been the smoke alarm, which goes off, loudly, alerting the entire RV park to my cooking ineptitude every single time I use the stove &#8212; often multiple times before I'm done making dinner. So it looks as if more meals will be cooked over the flame.</p> <p><span class="column--highlighted-text">If the washboard laundry came with Nicole Kidman's amazing hair, a young and hunky Tom Cruise as a love interest, and a plot of land with rolling hills and a stream in Oklahoma Territory, then I could embrace the daily suds.</span> Actually, scratch the Tom Cruise love interest part. We know how this turns out, and couches are already falling apart.<p>Updated: Sat Jul 25, 2020</p> 381520c51bd3211fba54643a97e208e5 Ark Encounter for 07/18/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/07/20/ark-encounter Sat, 18 Jul 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"Ark Encounter," my husband read aloud as we passed by a sign on Interstate 75 for the creationist theme park in Williamstown, Kentucky. "We sure have been getting a lot of flood references lately. Now it's getting biblical."</p> <p>The flood references have been coming pretty rapidly the past couple of weeks. Our dishwasher flooded our kitchen and then subsequently our basement. Our new RV had a roof leak, which flooded down onto my husband's head when we first drove it off the lot. Our yard flooded in a storm right before we left. And now, an interactive Bible-based attraction.</p> <p>To be fair, in the midst of a pandemic, it's hard not to think of even the most minor setbacks and irritations as biblical. A pimple equals boils. Murder hornets equal locusts. And Kanye West's running for president equals the end of days. Though our floods have been far from Old Testament-worthy, they have given us pause to consider, "Is this a sign?"<p>Updated: Sat Jul 18, 2020</p> b31ed552a4b841f81aa4737397345149 Silver Lining for 07/11/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/07/20/silver-lining Sat, 11 Jul 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"I dunno," said my friend. "I can't really support your just letting yourself go."</p> <p>He was speaking in reference to my ditching the dye and letting my gray hair grow out, a growing movement, literally and figuratively, during this pandemic.</p> <p>Personally, I'm pretty excited to look like a witch. Or a fairy. Or simply how Mother Nature intended.<p>Updated: Sat Jul 11, 2020</p> 2cd0ae0d68bffe771827daffeeb088eb Dishwashers and Pineapples for 07/04/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/07/20/dishwashers-and-pineapples Sat, 04 Jul 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>I was down in my basement, when something looked different. <i>Hmm. What is it? Ah, yes, the ceiling is on the floor.</i></p> <p>Though I'm no basement expert, it immediately occurred to me that the ceiling was not supposed to be on the floor. I felt the panels, which were now crumbling by my feet.</p> <p>Wet. Very wet.<p>Updated: Sat Jul 04, 2020</p> f7cbf529615d1c6517871cb3e732dc9e Cupboard Cuisine for 06/27/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/06/20/cupboard-cuisine Sat, 27 Jun 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>I am not a cook.</p> <p>By this, I mean I rarely cook and, when I do cook, it rarely tastes good. This reality, combined with the ever-changing picky eating habits of my young children and the fact that my husband also hates to cook, has turned our family into a frozen-foods family. I may not be able to cook, but I can thaw. And thanks to my good friend Marie Callender, this is all I typically do.</p> <p>In a week, my family will be taking off in our RV for an undetermined amount of time. Preparing our home for the renters has been, for the most part, a boring and exhausting project, complete with finding missing socks, naughty children's hidden candy wrappers, and the occasional $10 bill in the unlikeliest of places. Moving is a joyless process.<p>Updated: Sat Jun 27, 2020</p> 6636616788ef7547cd7669f1c797d2b9 Better Vision for 06/20/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/06/20/better-vision Sat, 20 Jun 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"You look a little dirty. Why don't you wash up before coming inside?"</p> <p>This was not something that I said to my kids. This was said to me by my eye doctor. I guess that all this time in quarantine isn't going to help my dreams of passing as a sexy 23-year-old Instagram influencer.</p> <p>In my dirty defense, I had stumbled into a bush prior to knocking on the locked office door. Tiny seeds, which may or may not have looked like a rampant infestation of bedbugs, had burrowed into my fluffy white hoodie.<p>Updated: Sat Jun 20, 2020</p> e7086af369be7cf8e74ef48f71c997be Rocky Starts for 06/13/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/06/20/rocky-starts Sat, 13 Jun 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>The first night in our RV, we slept in the dealership's parking lot. A week later, we slept there again. I think it is safe to say we are not off to the best start.</p> <p>I keep thinking about that old adage about how a bad wedding day is a sign for a good marriage. During particularly rough patches in my marriage, I would curse my own relatively drama-free wedding day. <i> If only the venue had caught fire or a rogue mountain lion had bolted down the aisle and taken off with my bouquet and veil, my husband and I wouldn't be in this mess! </i> Alas, there was no 200-pound feline disrupting my vows.</p> <p>My best friend had the good fortune of seeing her uncle punch out a waiter during her father-daughter dance. And if that wasn't good enough, as extra icing on her five-tiered wedding cake, her brother took a lug wrench and smashed in the windows of cars in the parking lot until he was arrested. No wonder she and her husband seem to have the perfect marriage. I tell ya, some brides get all the luck.<p>Updated: Sat Jun 13, 2020</p> 3ad5b8f5f368452d8fe62f08eccab087 Life on the Road for 06/06/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/06/20/life-on-the-road Sat, 06 Jun 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"Let's get a boat. I've been in a boat," I said to my husband.</p> <p>"You want to buy a boat? Have you ever driven a boat?" he asked.</p> <p>"OK, fine. Then let's get an RV."<p>Updated: Sat Jun 06, 2020</p> 648125ace6fda54bb8f51360e0b5619d Smile Behind the Mask for 05/23/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/05/20/smile-behind-the-mask Sat, 23 May 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"Let me see," my 7-year-old said. I smiled at him.</p> <p>"Mama," he said, "your mask is on."</p> <p>"Oh! Right." I lowered my mask.<p>Updated: Sat May 23, 2020</p> f5bf05c23b63a13b56c7508cad6089f7 School Play in Quarantine for 05/16/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/05/20/school-play-in-quarantine Sat, 16 May 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>My 7-year-old's teacher decided to put on a school play. It begins in 20 minutes. I have a problem with this. In fact, I have many problems with this.</p> <p>For starters, it's nearly the end of the school year. Why are we getting ambitious now? Isn't now the time for field day and end-of-year ice cream parties? Don't these last precious weeks provide that once-a-year opportunity for exhausted teachers to wheel in the large cube television sets on dollies and play "Schoolhouse Rock!" (or, for the teachers who have really stopped giving a crumpet, "Grease") on a never-ending loop? Because <i>that</i>, my friends, is the kind of home schooling I can handle right now. Movies, snacks and sending them outside to "field day," aka the trampoline. But a play? Not the go-outside kind but the memorize-lines kind? That's not just work for my kiddo; that's work for me. These are lines I had to memorize alongside my kid to help him practice.</p> <p>Oh, but no, it didn't stop there. Then, the nerve, my son's teacher gave me a song to sing, too. Parent participation is lovely, when volunteered. But a mandated solo? That's just a new form of quarantine abuse! So I memorized the song and sang it in play practice. And the solo was promptly taken away from me and given to my son. Something about how the pitch and rhythm and melody were off. Perhaps the lyrics, too. I can't be sure. Surely, the solo belongs to my child, and he does a most excellent job, but it was nonetheless a brutal blow to my quarantine ego. I was kindly asked instead to participate in the chorus hoedown. I'm being taken back to that time in my musical theater days when I was asked to lip-sync during the chorus numbers. Somehow my voice risked destroying the overwhelming crescendo of a 60-person cast. Surely, you are now thinking, "Wow, Katiedid must be uniquely terrible at singing." And to that I say, "That's beside the point!" One can take only so many gray hairs, Cheeto crumb-filled bedsheets and solo-takeaways before one really begins to question her life's choices. And you know I'm not fixing the gray hairs and Cheeto crumb-filled bedsheets any time soon.<p>Updated: Sat May 16, 2020</p> b8947cdd659e45e4234046db581926f6 Post-COVID Fashion for 05/09/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/05/20/post-covid-fashion Sat, 09 May 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>A friend of mine works in the fashion industry. She sighed as she spoke to our friends over Zoom last week. While most of us are dealing with being furloughed or being laid off or not having work come in, she was just given a raise. But with that raise comes a raise in expectations. "I was on the phone with Diddy, and we just can't figure out the hot trend in a post-COVID-19 world!" (To be fair, I can't remember whether she said Diddy. It could have been Beyonce or or Drake or J-Lo or another A-lister. When she talks about that level of fame, my mind tends to liquify, and I go from intent listening to wondering how the heck this is my friend's life. Isn't this the same girl who used to get sloppy drunk off Mike's Hard Lemonade every time a boy didn't call her back in college? And now she is taking calls from... shoot, which celebrity was it?)</p> <p>Hmm, trend in a post-COVID-19 world.</p> <p>I can tell you what fashion trends are happening in my home in present COVID-19 world: No pants. No shoes. No bra. Gray roots. Pajamas all day &#8212; or not, when pajamas feel like too much work to put on. Bathrobes. No socks. Glasses, not contacts. No shirts. Somehow, miraculously, we're not naked. The belly rolls are spilling over the elastic of pajama pants with reckless abandon &#8212; no attempts made to tuck them in or suck them in. There is hair so oily it creates its own pompadour. No hair product required. There are hairy legs and hairy faces and haircuts done in front of the mirror with kids' safety scissors. The children have taken to hand-drawing tattoos on their bodies with washable markers. My daughter rubbed dirt over her body, proudly announcing she has a beach tan. Who needs a summer vacation?<p>Updated: Sat May 09, 2020</p> dbf87244b492a95b990cf73c1ab0fc4a Zoom Attire for 05/02/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/05/20/zoom-attire Sat, 02 May 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>Why is dressing for online meetings so much more difficult than dressing for normal life? I know how to dress for work. I know how to dress for home. I do not know how to dress for both at the same time. If the meetings were audio only, I'd be in pajamas all day. But the meetings are always with video, and I go through about 30 outfit changes before I settle on something I hate but have to accept because the meeting began three minutes ago.</p> <p>As if I needed something else to feel anxious about.</p> <p>On a Zoom call last week, I realized 10 minutes in that I wasn't wearing a bra. I became completely distracted by this fashion faux pas. I tilted the camera up so it showed only my face, yet I was still paranoid about the lack of bra. After 10 minutes of constant fretting and missing my name being called twice, I decided this was ridiculous. Why was I suffering? I fixed the problem by putting on the sweatshirt that hung over the back of my chair. Great. Except it was unseasonably hot outside, and I began sweating profusely. My face was only about a foot from the screen as sweat dripped off the tip of my nose. So professional.<p>Updated: Sat May 02, 2020</p>