Katiedid Langrock from Creators Syndicate https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid Creators Syndicate is an international syndication company that represents cartoonists and columnists of the highest caliber. en Fri, 15 Jan 2021 08:55:23 -0800 https://www.creators.com/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Katiedid Langrock from Creators Syndicate https://cdn.creators.com/features/katiedid-langrock-thumb.jpg https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid c711bed9bbedd849dcef15e46c4e9014 NYE Diet for 01/09/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/01/21/nye-diet Sat, 09 Jan 2021 00:00:00 -0800 <p>I, like many, have a love-hate relationship with New Year's resolutions. Nearly every year, I declare with haughty elitism that I'm above such nonsense. And nearly every year, in the back corners of my mind, I think, "Hmm, this year, I will take up fencing and commit to practicing no less than six hours a day."</p> <p>This year, I'm going for simple; I'm going on a New Year's resolution diet. I know, I know. Fencing would be so much cooler. I wish my resolution were something adventurous &#8212; perhaps manually carrying the snows of the Arctic to the tip of Kilimanjaro without a single flake melting or something Zen, such as listening to the ocean until she spells out my purpose, or something punny, such as listening to the ocean until she spells out my porpoise, or something controversial, such as arresting Santa for breaking and entering and animal cruelty (because reindeer hate heights). But 2020 took a lot out of all of us, so for 2021, a diet will have to do.</p> <p>It began when the general state of the country led me to not so much inhale sweets as be on an ice cream IV. Then the pandemic hit, and we were home all day. We could never keep enough chips in the house for the all-day snacking. The RV trip was the final double blow. 1) I could walk back and forth from the front end to the back end 800 times in a day and only clock about 16 steps. 2) Our small fridge and small amount of cabinet space meant we had room for only one week's worth of meals for the family. No more cooking up to each person's specifications. No chicken for this one, no broccoli for that one, no meat at all for me, no spicy version and mild version. No, we all had to eat from the same pot. And with young picky children, that pot quickly began to hold only macaroni and cheese, frozen pizza, and tacos. 2020 isn't going down as the healthiest year ever for many reasons. Having my butt turn into a couch is just one of them.<p>Updated: Sat Jan 09, 2021</p> 4a523166872ab7282d9f3d72904ce2a2 2020 Superstitions for 12/26/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/12/20/2020-superstitions Sat, 26 Dec 2020 00:00:00 -0800 <p>"Check out my new ornament," my friend texted in our group chat.</p> <p>A moment later, a video appeared of her new Christmas ornament to commemorate the year. It was of a dumpster on fire, with lights flickering in bright yellows and oranges and "2020" written across the bottom of the ornament. The 2020 dumpster fire &#8212; how appropriate.</p> <p>In the final days of this dreadful year, <span class="column--highlighted-text">it's hard to sum up what 2020 has been. A number of definitions come to mind: global hell, collective nightmare, 30-pound weight gain, the year of increasing alcohol tolerance, breakfast in bedlam, hot mess, butt-imprint-on-couch year, train wreck, the year of obsessively scrolling through the cheap flights to exotic destinations that I can't take because of COVID-19 restrictions, omnishambles, chaos curtsy, buy-a-Peloton year, never-use-my-Peloton year, pj's-all-day year and, of course, the beloved dumpster fire.</span><p>Updated: Sat Dec 26, 2020</p> cf8609180067a675294f0d593a158121 Sweater Pants for 12/19/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/12/20/sweater-pants Sat, 19 Dec 2020 00:00:00 -0800 <p>"I'm ready!"</p> <p>My 5-year-old walked in with her legs through the sleeves of a sweater.</p> <p>"Um," I said, looking down at her rather unusual outfit.<p>Updated: Sat Dec 19, 2020</p> 9c54cee5e0f26572895577a82dc9ed5a Living in the Walls for 12/12/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/12/20/living-in-the-walls Sat, 12 Dec 2020 00:00:00 -0800 <p>The first time we went to our house after purchasing it, we found a snake in the basement. "This will happen," an animal control officer said as she removed the 6-foot rat snake. "You live on water next to the woods."</p> <p>"So they come in for shelter?" I asked.</p> <p>"They come in for food," she said.<p>Updated: Sat Dec 12, 2020</p> cd93c8ff968482cb600ac9ca50a4405a Koala Christmas for 12/05/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/12/20/koala-christmas Sat, 05 Dec 2020 00:00:00 -0800 <p>Lately, my kids have been making a big push to move to Australia. They believe there is no COVID-19 Down Under. (Untrue.) They believe it is the birthplace of magic. (Quite possibly true.) I try to dissuade them with stories of venomous snakes and spiders the size of their heads.</p> <p>"Really, Mama," they want to know, "where is your sense of adventure?"</p> <p>Two years ago, my family went on a quick trip to Australia when I was working on developing a new children's show, "Berry Bees" (which last week won the Diversity Media Award for best kids series). I took my family along because I wanted to instill a passion for travel in my children &#8212; a lust for the different, unseen and unexperienced. I promised them that someday we'd come back and travel the continent properly. Perhaps I didn't think this through entirely.<p>Updated: Sat Dec 05, 2020</p> af18ded5a993d031309195838e97a321 Unicorn Request for 11/28/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/11/20/unicorn-request Sat, 28 Nov 2020 00:00:00 -0800 <p>My 5-year-old changed her Christmas/Hanukkah list. Now all she wants is a unicorn.</p> <p>This was perhaps the easiest request we'd ever received. Within moments, my husband was sending me links to unicorn plushies, while I told my daughter that be it from us, her grandparents or Santa, she is guaranteed a unicorn.</p> <p>My daughter was delighted. I was delighted. Finally, something easy after a year of impossible.<p>Updated: Sat Nov 28, 2020</p> b765c64bbf83c609f909fe53d4cb2267 Traditions for 11/21/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/11/20/traditions Sat, 21 Nov 2020 00:00:00 -0800 <p>We're about to celebrate the oh-so-American holidays of Thanksgiving and Black Friday. This year, my family and I will be celebrating both holidays from an RV. Because of our limited space, I asked that the Christmas lists (aka Black Friday lists) be simple and down to the basics. Because of our limited kitchen space and completely broken RV oven, I asked that the Thanksgiving menu ideas be creative and different.</p> <p>This is my fault. I should have known better than to ask.</p> <p>For the past handful of years, when I have asked my son what he has wanted for Thanksgiving, he has said Papa John's pizza. I attribute this to my first Thanksgiving as a new mom, when I propped my then-3-month-old son on my lap as I used autumnal cookie cutters to remove turkey-shaped slices out of the middle of our cheese pizza. Every year since then, however, I've insisted, "The Thanksgiving meal can't just be another casual night dinner! It has to be special! There needs to be turkey!"<p>Updated: Sat Nov 21, 2020</p> 72f57cd8e53639b53831aa55a51d4699 Stress Eating for 11/07/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/11/20/stress-eating Sat, 07 Nov 2020 00:00:00 -0800 <p>On Thursday morning, my son woke me up from where I slept on the couch, TV blasting with election results still pouring in, neon orange dust caked around my mouth. He held up an empty party-sized bag of Doritos as he shook his head like an 8-year-old warden of our household.</p> <p>"Mama, I want to say something," he said.</p> <p><i> Oh, no! He found the evidence! </i><p>Updated: Sat Nov 07, 2020</p> c0f9e288821ba32fcb2015cc39656c35 Taco Lines for 10/31/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/10/20/taco-lines Sat, 31 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"There are tacos here."</p> <p>"Tacos?" I repeated.</p> <p>"And not just any tacos," my friend said. "Life-changing tacos."<p>Updated: Sat Oct 31, 2020</p> 4444c34c8f3556252c8c46c72c652c87 October Baseball for 10/24/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/10/20/october-baseball Sat, 24 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>It's that time of year again. The dreaded sports. The sports take over my household. Expletives fly like moths in the night. The house shakes like an earthquake at the epicenter. Sleeping children with dreams full of lilacs and peace fairies are jolted awake by a whooping and a hollering. <i> What's that? </i> they wonder, their minds quickly going through the list of dangers &#8212; pack of coyotes, fire alarm, monster beneath the bed. <i> Oh, no, it's just Dad. </i></p> <p>My husband says it's a curse loving teams that are ju-u-u-st not good enough. I think it's a curse to love teams that are this good. My kids think it's a curse to get to learn so many cool new curse words and not be allowed to repeat them.</p> <p>The Dodgers made it all the way to the World Series. Again. <i> Groan. </i> The Eagles play on an off night of the World Series. <i> Double groan. </i><p>Updated: Sat Oct 24, 2020</p> d949a20dc9d5d58f5e26b27fe1ed5e90 Freight Fright for 10/17/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/10/20/freight-fright Sat, 17 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"Does that freight train come through at 5 a.m. every morning?" an exhausted Vinny asks in "My Cousin Vinny."</p> <p>"No, sir. It's very unusual," the hotel clerk responds.</p> <p>My dad is a storyteller &#8212; the very best one I've ever had the pleasure of listening to, and I've had the pleasure of listening to some of the greats. His stories are always hilarious and self-depreciating, starring him as the fool. The stories are also told as if on a loop. If you've heard the story once, you've heard it a thousand times.<p>Updated: Sat Oct 17, 2020</p> 8308a475a34408d7b16ef95b2a80e3fb Laundroportal for 10/10/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/10/20/laundroportal Sat, 10 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>My husband has been doing our laundry. He has always done our laundry, but lately, it has become suspicious. Three hours for two loads? Hmm.</p> <p>Though yes, I realize that timing does work out, it's the glee with which he takes the hamper full of clothes to our RV campsites' laundry facilities that leaves me curious.</p> <p>He's never experienced such joy when doing our laundry at home. One could surmise that he simply is grateful when we come across a washer and dryer, because that means he isn't washboarding our clothes and line-drying them &#8212; which, I admit, has become a far less pleasurable experience now that we have entered autumn, with its cool weather and even colder rainfalls. However, I suspect that something far more secretive and nefarious is afoot. I suspect that laundry has become the new bathroom.<p>Updated: Sat Oct 10, 2020</p> 2ba7545308c91f5279ec11e86aa3ef32 Cold Skin for 10/03/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/10/20/cold-skin Sat, 03 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"Do you need a cane?" my 4-year-old asked me on a hike. "You look pretty old."</p> <p>"How old do you think I am?" I asked her, hunched over, teeth chattering.</p> <p>"Hmm, about 88," she said so innocently it was almost endearing. Almost.<p>Updated: Sat Oct 03, 2020</p> be2f32fba8d42cd4b786c4f1856d4ba6 Cinnamillennial for 09/26/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/09/20/cinnamillennial Sat, 26 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>I blame the cinnamon buns &#8212; or, more accurately, the lack of cinnamon buns.</p> <p>My husband and I decided to make a last-minute detour to get away from the West Coast smoke. And because I'm a planner &#8212; and this wasn't planned &#8212; I found the process of finding and booking us an RV campsite entirely overwhelming. How to pick a campground? Do we want one with trees or with bushes? A site that faces east or west? With red picnic tables or blue tables? How do people make such impossibly hard decisions? And then, there it was, the sweet, sweet answer. My mouth began to salivate as I clicked on "book." I knew nothing about the campsite other than it offered morning cinnamon buns. That was enough to know we'd made the right choice &#8212; a clear sign from the gooey delicious gods of carbs and spice. We were in for a treat.</p> <p>That is, until we rolled up and a sign on the door said, "Bakery closed for the season." Excuse me? Who does that? What kind of monster publicly announces an antidote to your woes in the form of hot, sticky salvation and then doesn't deliver? Is this some sort of a sick joke? The beginning to a horror flick like "Into the Woods"? Will the dough roller once used for crafting spiral-shaped snacks of pure delight now be used to pummel me to death the way the "bakery closed" sign pummeled my heart?<p>Updated: Sat Sep 26, 2020</p> 4597984b3f2b632a0ab982f4aa31979c Llama Mama in the COVID Age for 09/19/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/09/20/llama-mama-in-the-covid-age Sat, 19 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"Watch out. She spits," the teenager said.</p> <p>"She spits?" I asked.</p> <p>"Yeah, she's pregnant and peeved off."<p>Updated: Sat Sep 19, 2020</p> bb97dac39b6ab7e57ba1b4d895f899c9 Snore Survival for 09/12/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/09/20/snore-survival Sat, 12 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>Memoirs of a wife trying to sleep.</p> <p>RV life has led us to Northern California, which means it has led us to both forest fires and very low nighttime temperatures. I cannot be sure whether it is the coldness or the smoke that has impacted my dear husband so, but as we settled in to the campsite in the Golden State, my husband settled in to a new hobby: keeping the campsite awake with his snoring.</p> <p>Perhaps that's unfair &#8212; an overstatement, you may surmise. Hyperbole! Exaggeration! But, then, consider this. The other night, people here saw a bear traipsing through our campground, just a few sites away from ours. Then, suddenly, something scared him off. Could it have been the unsettling vibrations of loud snores echoing from my motorhome? Only the bear can say for sure, and I doubt he will want to relive such trauma.<p>Updated: Sat Sep 12, 2020</p> 985cb7851d03f09033d73e247e00d2d1 Port-a-Path for 09/05/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/09/20/port-a-path Sat, 05 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"At the port-a-potty, go south through the sage brush."</p> <p><span class="column--highlighted-text">That should've been a sign that this hike was going to be the dumps.</span></p> <p>I read the instructions on the Utah trails pamphlet again. We are on the hunt for dinosaur tracks. Surely, something that has been preserved for 125 million years can't be that hard to find. At the port-a-potty, we reapply sunscreen, check the compass attached to my son's junior ranger backpack, and head south.<p>Updated: Sat Sep 05, 2020</p> 063aeea2a4cc499fc439ca128feba3a3 Desert Driver for 08/29/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/08/20/desert-driver Sat, 29 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"Don't be scared," my driver said. "I'm going to take you a back way. We won't see another car for miles and miles."</p> <p>"OK," I said.</p> <p>"Also, I have a loaded gun next to me," my driver said. "I thought you should know. But don't be scared. You're going to be just fine."<p>Updated: Sat Aug 29, 2020</p> b2a86cce4bcb9b33ad0ffaa52c94edc2 Magic of Summer for 08/22/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/08/20/magic-of-summer Sat, 22 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"Hold tight to the magic of summer," I told my son this time last year. He'd just found out a few kids who'd broken his tiny heart in kindergarten were going to be in his first-grade class.</p> <p>"But how is it magic?" he asked, just as he had asked many previous times, needing to hear it again.</p> <p>"Summer changes you," I said. "You see new things. You do new things. You're challenged. You grow. You change &#8212; sometimes for the worse, most of the time for the better. So I want you to let people surprise you. See what the magic of summer delivered. See whether they sparkle with the magic. Allow them their new skin."<p>Updated: Sat Aug 22, 2020</p> ad066b902cfb6c7ec7df023d51291052 Propane in the Neck for 08/15/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/katiedid/08/20/propane-in-the-neck Sat, 15 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p>"How's it going?" my mom texts.</p> <p>"Great! I think we've finally got this thing figured out!"</p> <p>The next day: <i> Huh. Why aren't the stabilizer jacks going down? </i><p>Updated: Sat Aug 15, 2020</p>