The Science Advice Goddess from Creators Syndicate https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon Creators Syndicate is an international syndication company that represents cartoonists and columnists of the highest caliber. en Wed, 20 Mar 2019 07:26:46 -0700 https://www.creators.com/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss The Science Advice Goddess from Creators Syndicate https://cdn.creators.com/features/the-advice-goddess-thumb.jpg https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon 926b63325d6e47507a4a1912b04b889a Between A Squawk And A Hard Place for 03/19/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/03/19/between-a-squawk-and-a-hard-place Tue, 19 Mar 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p><i> I'm a 32-year-old gay man, and my boyfriend of three years sometimes vents to his friends about our relationship. I feel a little betrayed by this &#8212; like my privacy's being violated. Why can't he figure things out on his own &#8212; without bringing in a jury? &#8212; Disturbed </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Mar 19, 2019</p> 93ea8ad247a3924b868abbcfe59d94fb A Hard Yuk Story for 03/12/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/03/19/a-hard-yuk-story Tue, 12 Mar 2019 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p><i> I'm a 34-year-old struggling comic. My girlfriend is a 29-year-old children's therapist. We've been together for a year. She wants to move in with me, wants me to meet her parents &#8212; adult relationship stuff that I don't feel ready for now. I love her, but I live in a studio without a kitchen. I don't even have a car. As a man, I want to be a "provider" for the woman in my life. She doesn't want to wait. &#8212; Don't Wanna Lose Her </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Mar 12, 2019</p> 3878e4a9ae04441de70c4c6d9e671183 Youth Hostile for 03/05/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/03/19/youth-hostile Tue, 05 Mar 2019 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> I'm a 35-year-old woman who's been married for a year to a 70-year-old man. My husband's closest female friend is also one of his exes. He's known her for 40 years. She's a real sore point for me. She stayed at our apartment while we were away. She wouldn't reply to any of my emails but constantly emailed my husband. Recently, I saw a text my husband sent telling her to just email him at work because I have access to his phone. (That's how I discovered that she was dissuading him from fixing things with me when we were fighting.) I feel that a husband shouldn't have marriage-undermining friendships. I want him to stop talking with her. Am I wrong here? &#8212; Angry </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Mar 05, 2019</p> 4957582c80fb33a545168dd56ef9c529 No Girls Aloud for 02/26/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/02/19/no-girls-aloud Tue, 26 Feb 2019 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> I'm a female comic, so being smart and funny and having a strong personality is basically my job, as well as who I am. A friend had me stop by his business meeting at a cafe so he could introduce me to his client he was hoping to set me up with. I tend to show off when I'm nervous (going big, loud, and funny), and I apparently terrified the guy. My friend scolded me, telling me it's a turnoff for men to have to compete with a woman. Come on! I'd be thrilled to have a partner who is smarter and funnier. Shouldn't men be like that, too? &#8212; Bummed </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Feb 26, 2019</p> 92bf4946c5ad9afb7a2b52980344959f Eat, Gray, Love for 02/19/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/02/19/eat-gray-love Tue, 19 Feb 2019 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> I am almost 50 but look much younger, and I'm noticing that a number of the guys who are pursuing me are in their early 30s. I'm flattered but not really interested, as I want to get married again and I'm thinking that these guys are too young to consider that and probably want to have babies. Am I a magnet for guys with mommy issues? What gives? &#8212; Puzzled </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Feb 19, 2019</p> 651dddb40d79c6339321fc4a47c805dd America's Next Top Remodel for 02/12/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/02/19/americas-next-top-remodel Tue, 12 Feb 2019 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> I'm seeing so many women on Instagram who've had themselves made over to be super hot through cosmetic surgery and injectable fillers. They all have the same face &#8212; with big, luscious lips and huge doll-like eyes. In every shot, they're in full makeup &#8212; crazy eyeliner, tons of contouring. Do guys actually like this plastic Barbie look? Are guys cool with cosmetic surgery in general? &#8212; Curious </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Feb 12, 2019</p> 056d0af56b046835172d20f49fd13df6 Care Bare for 02/05/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/02/19/care-bare Tue, 05 Feb 2019 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> I'm dating this new woman. I like her a lot, but she keeps complaining that I still have pictures of my ex-girlfriend on my wall, saying that it makes her uncomfortable, especially when we're having sex. I was with my ex for a while, and we lived together. They're just pictures. What's the big deal? &#8212; Irritated </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Feb 05, 2019</p> 7ddf61a73ba57c20e15e69061ded1d8f Areola 51 for 01/29/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/01/19/areola-51 Tue, 29 Jan 2019 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> A lot of women are posting pix of themselves on Instagram in very skimpy attire. I don't feel comfortable doing that (though I'm in great shape), because I'm single and I'm afraid men would think I'm "easy." Am I right in thinking men don't take you seriously as relationship material if you post this type of pix? Or am I prudish and out of touch? &#8212; Curious </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Jan 29, 2019</p> 4fc5610a2ce8719692e920c102f592c3 Cling Kong for 01/22/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/01/19/cling-kong Tue, 22 Jan 2019 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> My girlfriend of three years recently took a trip home for a weekend wedding. Before she left, I asked her, "Can you set my expectations as to how often I'll hear from you?" She said she'd call every day. She called each of the three days but never stayed on the phone very long, always giving some excuse: She was in a bar, the hosts were sleeping, etc. In three days, she spent a total of 43 minutes speaking and reconnecting with me. I told her I felt really hurt by how little time she allocated. She responded that there were things planned, that she was sometimes at the behest of others driving her places, etc. I am sure that's all true. Though I'm not insecure, I've felt insecure about my relationship with her. So...what do you think? Do I have a valid reason to feel neglected and invisible? &#8212; Ignored </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Jan 22, 2019</p> 65bf007f39f9bfdd12accb9d5437f023 Gramping Her Style for 01/15/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/01/19/gramping-her-style-bef77 Tue, 15 Jan 2019 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> My friend just joined a dating site for elite creative professionals. Unfortunately, it grabs your age from Facebook, so you can't shave off years. At 50, she's outside of most men's search parameters &#8212; even older men's. What gives? &#8212; Concerned </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Jan 15, 2019</p> 46177524a587cf5f550d3b245fee1424 Foul Pay for 01/08/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/01/19/foul-pay Tue, 08 Jan 2019 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> I went out with a feminist who was all into women's empowerment, but when the bill came, she made no effort to chip in. Please explain this type of feminism. Is it somehow possible that she didn't notice the check? &#8212; Incredulous </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Jan 08, 2019</p> f08948f8d713116e176b0627f24dcfb6 Fifty Shades Of Go Away for 01/01/2019 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/12/18/fifty-shades-of-go-away Tue, 01 Jan 2019 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> I'm the female author of a funny memoir about sex addiction and relationships. Unfortunately, I now have male readers asking me on dates via email, even if they don't live in this country! To put it politely, few are men I'd ever be interested in. Also, it feels creepy to be asked out because somebody read all about my sex life. How do I kindly turn them down? &#8212; Disturbed </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Jan 01, 2019</p> 76f3b9fc0fe3020a021876965dae6cd6 Things That Go Bump In The Knight for 12/25/2018 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/12/18/things-that-go-bump-in-the-knight Tue, 25 Dec 2018 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> I'm confused. Does treating women as equals mean not doing those things that would previously have been considered chivalrous, like opening doors and giving a woman your coat? What's now considered polite, and what's considered offensive? &#8212; Bewildered </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Dec 25, 2018</p> 51e70bfeed684b9be84b27397589e074 The Hand That Rocks The Ladle for 12/18/2018 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/12/18/the-hand-that-rocks-the-ladle Tue, 18 Dec 2018 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> I'm a 57-year-old twice-divorced man. Though I never wanted to get to a point where romance wouldn't be in my big picture, I'm feeling done with it. I've replaced dating and getting married again with gourmet cooking for one. I'm really enjoying it, but it worries me. Is it okay to be done? &#8212; Single And Culinary </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Dec 18, 2018</p> e3f125aff37dd6322fcfe1e0ae939aaf For Whom The Sleigh Bells Toll for 12/11/2018 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/12/18/for-whom-the-sleigh-bells-toll Tue, 11 Dec 2018 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> I get very lonely around the holidays. My family is just my parents, and they're far away. I don't have a boyfriend right now. I have many friends and good people in my life, but instead of hanging out with them, I find myself isolating. So...it seems my treatment for loneliness is loneliness and then feeling sorry for myself that I'm home alone. Help! &#8212; Pity Party Animal </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Dec 11, 2018</p> 755692e72d0c0dfef0e677a188b10de5 Teetotally Awesome for 12/04/2018 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/12/18/teetotally-awesome Tue, 04 Dec 2018 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p></p><p><i> I'm a recovering addict, five years sober. My ex-boyfriend was a "normie" (12-step slang for someone who hasn't had addiction issues), and there were definitely things he just didn't get. Do I need to date another recovering addict to feel understood? I've done that before, and I really don't like it. It's like living in a recovery bubble 24/7. &#8212; Sober </i><p>Updated: Tue Dec 04, 2018</p> a56d1d2af86f17dc27f27b7beaf3609f Woe Is Meow for 11/27/2018 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/11/18/woe-is-meow Tue, 27 Nov 2018 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> I lost over 100 pounds. I'm really proud of my myself and my new body, so I post pix on Instagram. Disturbingly, I've got a few haters &#8212; all women! &#8212; who come at me saying I'm narcissistic, slutty, a showoff, etc. I thought women are supposed to support one another. How should I respond? Should I post fewer selfies? &#8212; So Much For Sisterhood </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Nov 27, 2018</p> 9a1fc0506607f89aee2b10108315b41f Best Man For The Sob for 11/20/2018 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/11/18/best-man-for-the-sob Tue, 20 Nov 2018 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> I'm a 28-year-old guy with an amazing girlfriend. She gets upset and sometimes cries, and I never know how to soothe her. I'm afraid to say the wrong thing, so I don't say anything at all. Of course, she then gets more upset, thinking I don't care. But I do care, and I want her to know. &#8212; Tongue-Tied </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Nov 20, 2018</p> 89db46848a46f24ad9258a9992b3b64a Apartnering Up for 11/13/2018 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/11/18/apartnering-up Tue, 13 Nov 2018 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> My husband and I started having problems when I found an email he sent to his ex-girlfriend saying, "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He's never complimented me during our five years together. He revealed that he and his ex used to have sex for hours, while the most we ever spent making love was 45 minutes &#8212; only once, when we were first dating. I think I should leave, but we have a 1-year-old child. We are good together caring for the baby, but it's terrible to be with a man who lacks love, respect, and desire for you. &#8212; Tormented </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Nov 13, 2018</p> 53e08c40576b779f691d3aebcaf9e42b Business Meating for 11/06/2018 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/11/18/business-meating Tue, 06 Nov 2018 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i> A man asked me for my number at an event, saying he wanted to take me to dinner. I told him I'd just ended a relationship and wasn't ready to date. Of course, he then said it'd be a business dinner, and I consented and wrote my number down. I feel that I had bad boundaries and wish a) he hadn't been so forward and b) I hadn't given my number. How could I handle this better in the future? I'm a pretty assertive woman, so my collapsing under pressure was disturbing. &#8212; Jell-O </i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Nov 06, 2018</p>