The Science Advice Goddess from Creators Syndicate https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon Creators Syndicate is an international syndication company that represents cartoonists and columnists of the highest caliber. en Sun, 13 Jun 2021 09:04:46 -0700 https://www.creators.com/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss The Science Advice Goddess from Creators Syndicate https://cdn.creators.com/features/the-advice-goddess-thumb.jpg https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon 8a0abcde79d0c1aa27015588afd8f43d No Manchild Left Behind for 06/08/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/06/21/no-manchild-left-behind Tue, 08 Jun 2021 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I'm a woman in my early 20s. I'm considered pretty, and I'm in good shape. I started dating significantly older men (in their 40s and early 50s). I love that they're adults and I don't become a girlfriend-slash-nanny, motivational coach, and resume editor like when I'm dating guys my age. But these older men and I are in different life stages with different goals. They want to get married way sooner than I do, or they've had kids and don't want more. How can I trick my brain into wanting men my age who are less emotionally and otherwise mature?</p> <p>&#8212;Elder Dater</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Jun 08, 2021</p> 9362ef0b6eb95dc6574da0466a14f8bf Fraud Prince for 06/01/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/06/21/fraud-prince Tue, 01 Jun 2021 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I broke up with a guy I was dating after discovering he'd lied about his age on the dating app we'd met on. (He's 48, not "39.") I'd told him honesty's a big deal for me. He claimed he's honest with those he cares about and at work and argued that everybody lies on dating sites. I'm not buying that. Isn't someone either honest or not? </p> <p>&#8212;Skeptical</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Jun 01, 2021</p> 981cb43fd9f4d602a869b12db1be0d27 Jerk du Soleil for 05/25/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/05/21/jerk-du-soleil Tue, 25 May 2021 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I'm a guy in my senior year of college. I cannot figure out how my roommate gets all the women he does. He's a huge jerk to everyone, including women &#8212; the typical "bad boy." He breaks any rule or law he can, doesn't care who he hurts, and makes very little effort with women, yet all my female friends go for him. A good friend (sleeping over, as it got really late) even left my bed in the middle of the night to get into his! Why?!!</p> <p>&#8212;Nice Guy</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue May 25, 2021</p> ee267ebc2d6a0328d545fdd848f823b6 Loot Actually for 05/18/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/05/21/loot-actually Tue, 18 May 2021 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I'm envious of a friend whose boyfriend frequently does nice things for her: bringing her soup when she's sick and surprising her with a weekend getaway and a pricey handbag she'd been coveting. My boyfriend is a nice, reliable, loving guy. I'd considered myself lucky to have him, but now I'm worried my "good-boyfriend" standard is too low. </p> <p>&#8212;Comparison Shopping</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue May 18, 2021</p> bb744710313b965a7163e3deb4352c56 Dear In Headlights for 05/11/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/05/21/dear-in-headlights Tue, 11 May 2021 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I'm a girl in my 20s. I recently started dating a guy I'm falling in love with. He invited me to a party to meet his friends, and I'm nervous. He's "objectively" more attractive than I am (6-foot-2, brawny, and incredibly handsome) and very successful. I'm attractive, but I see the looks women give him, and I can't help but feel his friends will question why he's interested in me. I'm thinking of backing out of the party, but maybe I should back out of dating him entirely, given the pressure. </p> <p>&#8212;Freaking</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue May 11, 2021</p> fdb0e3a185b75011c128d6c025bc18df Life In The Fastened Lane for 05/04/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/05/21/life-in-the-fastened-lane Tue, 04 May 2021 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I've been with my boyfriend for a year, and I love him, but I also love my independence. I need alone time, meaning space from him and everybody. He wants to spend every minute together and seems to need constant closeness to feel okay. Is this a bad sign &#8212; on his part or mine? Should I <b>want</b> to spend every second with him? </p> <p>&#8212;Confused</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue May 04, 2021</p> 488bdf81d0c2b78528e1d4b979a1485c Needle In A Bae Stack for 04/27/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/04/21/needle-in-a-bae-stack Tue, 27 Apr 2021 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I am a 31-year-old woman, and I can't figure out why I'm having such a hard time finding a man. I am attractive (in good shape and considered pretty); have a master's degree; am successful in a competitive business; and I love to read and talk about news, history, and ideas. I have wonderful friends; I've worked hard to resolve my issues; and I do my best to be a kind person. I just want my match: someone who's smart, highly educated, equally successful or more so, attractive (tall &#8212; at least 6-foot-1 &#8212; and masculine), passionate, well-read, and a good person. What's wrong with me that, even with online dating, I rarely find men even in the ballpark of what I want? </p> <p>&#8212;Miserable</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Apr 27, 2021</p> 2a6a6621d4a963b8df1dbd192f773891 Buddy Heat for 04/20/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/04/21/buddy-heat Tue, 20 Apr 2021 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I'm dating an awesome woman I see a future with. However, there's a hurdle: She doesn't want to have sex until we're committed, but I don't feel right about committing without knowing we have sexual chemistry. A previous relationship ended because the sex was subpar, and I don't want to go through that again.</p> <p>&#8212;Conflicted</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Apr 20, 2021</p> f5e3afe226354915b0ebc75333ec7e12 Flush To Judgment for 04/13/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/04/21/flush-to-judgment Tue, 13 Apr 2021 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p><i>At my boyfriend's recent high school alumni gathering, it came to light that he had bullied a student (holding his head in the toilet, etc.). We've been together for almost two years and have discussed marriage. However, I'm truly unsettled that he was capable of committing such awful acts. It makes me feel that I no longer truly know who he is. He claims he's an entirely different person and could never do such a thing today. How much weight should I give this? </i></p><i> </i><p><i>&#8212;Disturbed</i><p>Updated: Tue Apr 13, 2021</p> 1ded704ce9ba546acc563f4c9ef0eb52 Gawking Tall for 04/06/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/04/21/gawking-tall Tue, 06 Apr 2021 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I really appreciate the science you laid out showing that men instinctively look at women, even if they really love the woman they're with. Maybe I should stop feeling a tad bad about looking at beautiful women and enjoying beauty? After all, my wife and I have been married 26 years, and I've never even kissed anyone else during that time. Admittedly, I've sometimes wanted to, and I've had opportunities. Thanks for a perspective that brings in science and isn't the usual man-bashing that's out there. </p> <p>&#8212;Male Reader</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Apr 06, 2021</p> 1745af1a677a30be347898a48e2d5a75 Stalk Of Shame for 03/30/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/03/21/stalk-of-shame Tue, 30 Mar 2021 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I'm a 34-year-old woman seeking a relationship. Last week, I went to dinner with a man. We had an instantaneous connection and ended up having sex. I haven't heard from him since. I've always believed sex on a first date doesn't matter if there's a connection. Now I'm worried I moved too quickly. I'm tempted to call him. Any advice on what to say?</p> <p>&#8212;Disappointed</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Mar 30, 2021</p> 4612ad153ad11b720ef6b03d7a9459e8 Spite Girl for 03/23/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/03/21/spite-girl Tue, 23 Mar 2021 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>In my romantic relationships, conflicts bring out a side of me that I don't like. I fly into a rage and end up making ugly comments I later regret. In the moment, it's like I can't stop. I'm shocked by the level of anger I have, and I'm afraid to enter relationships as a result. </p> <p>&#8212;Exploding Woman</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Mar 23, 2021</p> f4f11e430750936ca9003b78461b1638 Smear Pressure for 03/16/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/03/21/smear-pressure Tue, 16 Mar 2021 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I'm a college sophomore, and my boyfriend is a senior. He's a football player, and other girls have crushes on him. Recently, he was with his guy friends at a party. A girl came over and said I'd slapped her across the face. I've never even met her! Why would she do this? </p> <p>&#8212;Mystified</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Mar 16, 2021</p> 022ad74723265d7b24b2bad799c10b8a Morose-Colored Glasses for 03/09/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/03/21/morose-colored-glasses Tue, 09 Mar 2021 00:00:00 -0800 <p><i>I'm a woman in my 20s. Some stuff in my life was going really wrong, and I got depressed. I didn't tell people, but it had to be obvious. I distanced myself from my group of girlfriends, meaning I missed birthday parties, didn't respond to group texts, and was overall not a great friend. Still, I did what I could, like taking a friend for a spa day after missing her birthday the week before. Weeks later, I learned she was still harboring resentment that I had missed her birthday. Don't I deserve a bit of a break? </p> <p>&#8212;Feeling Better Now</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Mar 09, 2021</p> 4e0c73aabaae46fcce7b4dea5baf758c Old Is The New Black for 03/02/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/03/21/old-is-the-new-black Tue, 02 Mar 2021 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i>What are your thoughts on women who are involved with much younger men? A friend who's my age, 58, is dating a 23-year-old guy. She started seeing him when he was 18 and refers to him as her "husband." I went on a day trip with the two of them, and it honestly felt like we had a child in tow. He whines and pouts to get his way, feels a need to one-up everybody in conversation, and says and does weirdly inappropriate things (like skipping through a graveyard and talking openly about his sexual prowess). They profess their love to each other often, and I guess if it's working, it's fine, but I just don't get it. </i></p><i> </i><p><i>&#8212;Baffled</i><p>Updated: Tue Mar 02, 2021</p> 6be4e493a9e91b57c1c1f4e099dabe15 Job Corpse for 02/23/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/02/21/job-corpse Tue, 23 Feb 2021 00:00:00 -0800 <p><i>My girlfriend of a year is beautiful, intelligent, sweet, and loving and the first woman I could see having a future with. Last week, I was told I'm being laid off from my job at a large media conglomerate. I haven't told anyone, but I'm feeling increasingly guilty for keeping it a secret from my girlfriend. The thing is I'm afraid she'll think less of me, even if she pretends not to. To be honest, I'd rather break up with her than tell her. </p> <p>&#8212;Distraught</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Feb 23, 2021</p> 76c430afc5534c72d5ac01c8636c3c03 Stare Way To Heaven for 02/16/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/02/21/stare-way-to-heaven Tue, 16 Feb 2021 00:00:00 -0800 <p><i>I'm a girl in my early 20s, and I recently started dating a guy I met in college. I'm very happy, except for one issue: For as long as I've known him, he's followed Instagram accounts of attractive women with provocative photos (ranging from half-naked to entirely naked), and he'll "like" these pics. This really bothers me; however, I don't want to be the overbearing girlfriend. Why does he do this, and does it matter? </p> <p>&#8212;Disturbed</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Feb 16, 2021</p> cf522abaa3d8b7558e99c75049675371 Blarenaked Ladies for 02/09/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/02/21/blarenaked-ladies Tue, 09 Feb 2021 00:00:00 -0800 <p><i>Whenever I feel like I click with someone, I want to be upfront and tell them I like them right away. My friends all say this is dating suicide (and that's how it's been working out for me). But if I'm looking for emotional honesty in a partner, shouldn't I lead with it? </p> <p>&#8212;Confused</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Feb 09, 2021</p> 24dcce878ed05db18cc466ac1dc1cad3 Ancestry Dot Con for 02/02/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/02/21/ancestry-dot-con Tue, 02 Feb 2021 00:00:00 -0800 <p><i>I'm a single woman in my mid-30s with an older half brother I haven't seen in 20 years. He started calling me several years ago, and we speak sporadically (always instigated by him). He's married and refers to me as the aunt to his four children (whom I've never met). Recently, he asked whether they could all stay with me for a while. On the next call, he asked to borrow money. I have yet to give him answers. I can't help but suspect he just intended to use me all along. Is there a way to figure out whether that was the case? If so, I really don't want anything to do with him.</p> <p>&#8212;Wary</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Feb 02, 2021</p> 956737e843d66578cb2eb0c1f7ab7079 Laddy Issues for 01/26/2021 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/01/21/laddy-issues Tue, 26 Jan 2021 00:00:00 -0800 <p><i>I'm a woman in my early 20s. My friends say I have "daddy issues," because I tend to date men in their 30s. (I do have a decent relationship with my dad). I find men in their 20s generally immature, slobby, and inconsiderate, with limited communication skills (and no desire to improve them). I can't see how being frustrated with that means there's something wrong with me, but I hear "daddy issues" so much I'm starting to wonder.</p> <p>&#8212;Annoyed</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Jan 26, 2021</p>