The Science Advice Goddess from Creators Syndicate https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon Creators Syndicate is an international syndication company that represents cartoonists and columnists of the highest caliber. en Thu, 26 Nov 2020 15:07:49 -0800 https://www.creators.com/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss The Science Advice Goddess from Creators Syndicate https://cdn.creators.com/features/the-advice-goddess-thumb.jpg https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon 184d812c7d4864830cab3bc2ad86f66a Apt. 201B Or Not To Be for 11/24/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/11/20/apt-201b-or-not-to-be Tue, 24 Nov 2020 00:00:00 -0800 <p><i>My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and my lease is up in a few months. I was thinking about asking him if he wants to live together. When is the right time to move in with someone, and how do you know whether that's even a good idea? </p> <p>&#8212;Housing Crisis</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Nov 24, 2020</p> d599e4a4f8e983d4e2edb961742d82a9 Grand Theft Autocrat for 11/17/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/11/20/grand-theft-autocrat Tue, 17 Nov 2020 00:00:00 -0800 <p><i>I'm a 29-year-old straight woman, and I recently started dating this guy I really like. The only issue is he seems a bit controlling. For example, he always wants to pick the restaurant and which TV show we watch. While I'm generally pretty go with the flow, it seems like I never choose what we're doing. It's one thing to pick the restaurant, but I worry that he might be like this with bigger things (like if we got a place together or got married). Should I be worried? </p> <p>&#8212;Unsure</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Nov 17, 2020</p> 8eef6eba69ff48ffc16fb5bef1beba64 Fickle-Down Economics for 11/10/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/11/20/fickle-down-economics Tue, 10 Nov 2020 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i>I'm a 29-year-old straight woman. I recently came to the odd conclusion that I have no idea what I want in a man. Over the past few years, I've been dating a variety of guys and hoping they'll be right for me, and it's not working. Some turn out to be nice guys, but some turn out to be jerks. One turned out to be a truly terrible person, but in hindsight, all were obviously wrong for me. In each case, the underlying problems were always there, but I didn't identify them until things blew up months into the relationship or even a year in. How can I get clear on what I want?</i></p><i> </i><p><i>&#8212;Lost</i><p>Updated: Tue Nov 10, 2020</p> 46456cbafd2323013e9e195032fdf3a8 At Debt's Door for 11/03/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/11/20/at-debts-door Tue, 03 Nov 2020 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p><i>Quarantine's been weighing on me, and I've been making a lot of unnecessary purchases. I know I need to stop wasting money, but I just keep ordering thing after thing. How can I get that satisfaction from buying something without actually buying it?</i></p><i> </i><p><i>&#8212;Going Broke</i><p>Updated: Tue Nov 03, 2020</p> a2d4f2cf905ca6997e9f484d4da2c9b7 Heavy Mental for 10/27/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/10/20/heavy-mental Tue, 27 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I'm a woman who recently stopped talking with a guy I'd been seeing because, frankly, I didn't find him intelligent enough. He is a good guy, but just a little dim for me. When I told my friends this was the reason I ended things, they said it was a bit snobbish. Does this make me an intellectual snob? I get that he has other good qualities, but I just don't feel like they're enough. </p> <p>&#8212;Nerd Seeking Nerd</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Oct 27, 2020</p> 3e2302e2e960add20c4de01a1d4982fa Coddle Herder for 10/20/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/10/20/coddle-herder Tue, 20 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>My boyfriend's enabling of his failure-to-launch 26-year-old son is seeming like a deal breaker. Though his son's very likable, he's been fired from every job he's had, including a well-paying delivery job I recently got him, after they perceived liability from his reckless, race-driving ways. His dad lent him a truck, pays the insurance, pays his cellphone bill, and keeps rescuing him on his rent. He spends his days video gaming, getting stoned, and online dating. I was looking forward to getting married, but I don't want my house at risk when his son calls for a bailout. I'm also not sure I want a man who doesn't advance his kids to independence.</p> <p>&#8212;Distressed</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Oct 20, 2020</p> 141b6e7be2cb2346ee8dc0b2f11f629d What An Earl Wants for 10/13/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/10/20/what-an-earl-wants Tue, 13 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>This new guy I've been dating said he wants to keep things casual. I'm bummed because I've caught some pretty intense feelings for him. Is it possible he just needs to get to know me better and once he does, he'll feel differently?</p> <p>&#8212;Wishful</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Oct 13, 2020</p> 1147b5d57566eb2183cc6038833ab0b8 Go With The Whoa for 10/06/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/10/20/go-with-the-whoa Tue, 06 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>Whenever I go out with someone I like at all, I fall for them right away. How can I stop from jumping headfirst into wanting to be with a guy just because we have a nice evening together? I know some witty banter doesn't equal a soul mate, but good luck telling my heart.</p> <p>&#8212;Leap First</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Oct 06, 2020</p> 1acc3eee57a9a6b5975aa91b593b06e6 Meet Joe Backup for 09/29/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/09/20/meet-joe-backup Tue, 29 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p><i>The guy I'm seeing is super attentive and affectionate when we're together, but then he always falls off the grid. He'll wait weeks before texting me to make plans again, and sometimes I have to initiate. What's his deal, and how do I proceed? It's a new relationship, so I'd feel too needy to tell him I want more attention. </i></p><i> </i><p><i>&#8212;Yearning</i><p>Updated: Tue Sep 29, 2020</p> 16fe6e8a2517cddd882cb99b2591d348 Joan of Arctic for 09/22/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/09/20/joan-of-arctic Tue, 22 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I'm a 54-year-old woman, married for 21 years to a pretty decent guy. When our now-18-year-old son was little, my husband completely ignored Mother's Day for maybe six years. Once, I asked him why, and he simply said, "You aren't my mother." It hurt me SO MUCH because I busted my butt to be a good mom. I told him why I was so upset, and one year, I laid on our bed and cried, but nothing changed. Six years ago, he began giving me a card and flowers on Mother's Day. This year, he and our son got me hanging flower baskets, which was wonderful. The problem is I can't get over his doing nothing in the past, and it's affecting my feelings for him and how I treat him.</p> <p>&#8212;Still Hurting</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Sep 22, 2020</p> 33f25d425aa204c20d860221bcc057dd Kick The Hobbit for 09/15/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/09/20/kick-the-hobbit Tue, 15 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p><i>My 23-year-old nephew is a nice guy, a college grad with a good job who's a loving pet owner. The women in the family love his ironic mustache, his tattoos, and his way of making people laugh, but the men, including my husband, tend to see him in a negative light. I struggle to understand why they think so little of him. But maybe that's it: My nephew's not a big guy. He's maybe 5-foot-6, and while that's not terribly short, my family skews tall, with all the other men 6-foot-3 and over. From reading evolutionary theory in your books and columns, I'm wondering, might these men subconsciously dislike him because he's small? If so, is there any way to get them to see him in a better light?</i></p><i> </i><p><i>&#8212;Concerned Aunt</i><p>Updated: Tue Sep 15, 2020</p> ecebb82657a4cacb4e5a66a6b5cf094b Real Houseknives for 09/08/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/09/20/real-houseknives Tue, 08 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I was dismayed at how off-base you were when I read your response to a woman wanting to give her female friend advice to stop her from dating and hooking up so much after her breakup. It's common knowledge that it's men who go off on women for being promiscuous and tell them to not dress sexy. It's one more form of patriarchal control. Why blame women for this?</p> <p>&#8212;Angry Woman Living In The Real World</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Sep 08, 2020</p> 761a42e95cf4d58b0d22896920ea3e78 Womb With A View for 09/01/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/09/20/womb-with-a-view Tue, 01 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>My friend constantly talks to me about her baby on the way and asks me to help her pick out furniture and clothes for it. This is very painful for me because my husband doesn't want kids and I agreed not to have any. I didn't realize I'd have this deep longing for a child, but I love him and am not willing to leave him. I also have a hard time asking for things, even if a person is my friend. How do I tell her it would be better for me not to talk about this so much without making her feel bad? </p> <p>&#8212;Never-Be Mom</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Sep 01, 2020</p> 67ac4a4d63825d4d00ab19a5a95bf63c Catty Litter for 08/25/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/08/20/catty-litter Tue, 25 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I'm a woman who just turned 30, and so is my best friend, who just got out of a three-year relationship. She's now on the rebound <i>hard</i> &#8212; hitting on her co-workers, going on multiple dates every week, hooking up with different guys all the time, etc. I can't decide whether to admire her confidence or be concerned that she needs constant attention and validation from men. Do you think this is healthy behavior? Should I tell her that she needs to stop acting out and work on healing from her relationship in healthy ways? </p> <p>&#8212;Worried Friend</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Aug 25, 2020</p> 7dc6889a0f0c7e4ab2f1a617c5c2886f The Devil Eats Purina for 08/18/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/08/20/the-devil-eats-purina Tue, 18 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>My girlfriend got a dog six weeks ago &#8212; a Chihuahua. I don't hate the dog, but I'm not wild about him. I've almost stepped on him twice in the kitchen, and my snuggle time on the couch with my girlfriend has now become me watching him sit in her lap while they cootchie-coo it out. She hasn't had the dog sleep in bed with us, but I know that's next. Is this the end of our relationship?</p> <p>&#8212;Annoyed</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Aug 18, 2020</p> f93ad0ec204c0b2003111e8f0ba4d0ee MC Yammer for 08/11/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/08/20/mc-yammer Tue, 11 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>)My friend won't stop talking about her new crush, and it's driving me up the wall. I was annoyed, but now I'm getting increasingly angry, and I don't appreciate this toxic feeling rising up. It's all her and her new love all the time. If she asks anything about me or how I'm doing, it's an afterthought. I try to avoid conflict, so I haven't said anything. I keep hoping she'll realize she's behaving really selfishly. What will it take to get her to recognize this and start being a better friend?</p> <p>&#8212;Upset</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Aug 11, 2020</p> f4e2361e721af0bb1ba22ffec9d0756d Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hide for 08/04/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/08/20/dr-jekyll-and-mr-hide Tue, 04 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I'm a 30-year-old gay man with a new boyfriend. He is a total social butterfly: the kind of person who shows up to a bar on a random Friday night and just happens to know 10 people there. I, on the other hand, don't love being super social. It's not that I'm shy. I just find socializing exhausting. I really like him, and we mostly hang out one-on-one. However, the times we are with a lot of other people, even when they're a bunch of his friends, I feel a little overwhelmed. I'm worried he'll find me boring because of this, and I'd rather know sooner than later if my being a wallflower will be the death of the relationship.</p> <p>&#8212;Introvert</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Aug 04, 2020</p> 698c295898282babd116941c84c0ef1f Blurt Force Trauma for 07/28/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/07/20/blurt-force-trauma Tue, 28 Jul 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I became friends with this awesome guy who moved into my apartment complex. I can tell that he's into me, but he's not my type at all. What should I say to tell him I'm not interested?</p> <p>&#8212; Uncomfortable</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Jul 28, 2020</p> 91bbc98bc93256b5c5d59fe25c8d6f4b Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bae for 07/21/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/07/20/sittin-on-the-dock-of-the-bae Tue, 21 Jul 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>I'm a 34-year-old woman, and I've been with my boyfriend for about eighteen months. He's a loving guy but comes up a little short on romance ("butterfly moments," I guess you'd call them, from being surprised with some big romantic gesture). While I want those, I wonder whether that's just because society/media/culture have led me to believe they're the norm? How can I get these "butterfly moments" without asking unreasonable things of him?</p> <p>&#8212;In Need</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Jul 21, 2020</p> 8f6c8346089edff5e4a6492e123a082a Wail Watching for 07/14/2020 https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/07/20/wail-watching Tue, 14 Jul 2020 00:00:00 -0700 <p><i>My roommate just found out her ex-fiance is terminally ill and is likely to pass away soon. Though they had a weird relationship, I can tell she's taking it pretty hard. I really want to be supportive, but I honestly don't know what to do or say around a grieving person. I'm worried about saying the wrong thing, especially because I'm really uncomfortable with grief. I told her I am here for her if she needs anything. What do you do and say for a person who's in such a terrible situation? </p> <p>&#8212;Clueless</i></p> <p><p>Updated: Tue Jul 14, 2020</p>