Wedding Whispers

By Kristen Castillo

December 9, 2013 5 min read

They're sweet: "My first time will be on my wedding night with my husband."

They're funny: "As a groom, I'm not eating beans for a week prior to my wedding. I don't want to pass gas going down the aisle."

They're sad: "The thought of her marrying him tears me to pieces. She's supposed to be my bride."

They're intriguing: "I'm getting married in three weeks, and my wedding dress barely zips up. Everyone thinks it's because I'm stress eating. The real reason ... I'm pregnant."

They're bittersweet: "I danced with two people at my wedding: the one I married and the one I wish I married."

These messages are the innermost thoughts and feelings of brides and grooms. Though a wide range of emotions are shared, there's a common theme: They're all anonymous posts on a smartphone and tablet app called "Whisper."

*Shh! It's a Secret

The app "Whisper" has quietly become a technology success story. According to media reports, "Whisper" has more than 2.5 billion page views, with active users spending about 30 minutes a day looking at secrets on the app. Those same users open the app eight to 10 times a day.

"'Whisper' is a place where people can share things and see the world around them, unfiltered," says Aryanna Harrell, a spokeswoman for the app. "'Whisper' allows users to share things they might not be comfortable sharing publicly or tied to a profile. The anonymous nature of 'Whisper' creates an entirely different space for discussion, advice and support."

Users can search the app, reading about a variety of topics, including pop culture, food, TV, music and more. Wedding whispers are pretty popular, too, especially when you can get a peek at what other brides and grooms are thinking, which could be about anything from in-law stress to infidelity.

One bride confesses she wants "a wedding, not a husband."

Another says, "I fell for someone else and want to cancel my wedding."

A groom vents his wedding frustration, explaining, "I feel like I'm doing all the wedding planning and I'm getting stressed!"

*Wedding Worries?

So are the messages harmless? Do they reflect pre-wedding jitters? Or do they hint at something more serious like troubled relationships?

"The anonymous sites for venting stress are a great diversion but only in the moment," says Amber Ambrose, owner and event coordinator for Blue Sky Ceremony, a wedding planning company specializing in destination weddings in St. Thomas of the U.S. Virgin Islands.

"Whether it is family drama or a misunderstanding with a vendor, like anything else in life, it's better to face the problem head-on," she says, adding that letting worries fester is "the worst thing a bride can do."

It seems "whispering" feels safe since the poster's identity is a secret.

"A lot of times, online anonymity is just replacing a private diary," says Liz Coopersmith, a wedding-planning expert at the syndicated news magazine America Now, who stresses brides and grooms should be sharing their concerns with their partners instead of anonymously on social media.

Still, the posts might not be worth the worry.

"Just because you write it down, it doesn't mean it's serious," Coopersmith says. "Sometimes, you just want to look at it to see if it feels true."

*Whispering Rants and Raves

If wedding planning gets too demanding, brides and grooms can ask others for help, especially their wedding vendors. Plus, it's useful to step back from the situation.

"If you're feeling stressed about your wedding, take a break," advises Coopersmith. "It will be there when you get back, whenever you get back."

While many of the whispers are confessions of guilt or worry, many posts, like this one, are romantic: "I know I don't show it, but I'm so excited to be getting married to the love of my life! (I'm the groom)."

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