If a Wife Talks and Her Husband Doesn't Hear Her, Does She Still Make Noise?

By Cheryl Lavin

October 15, 2017 4 min read

Dear Cheryl: I'm ashamed to admit that I used to be one of those women who refused to date short guys. I'm 5 feet 7 inches tall, and I was raised to believe that height matters. I'm now 40 years old, and I have never been married. I'm afraid I've passed up some incredible opportunities with men simply because of their height.

It took a reconnection with an old friend from high school to teach me a lesson. This summer was the first time I saw him in 16 years. My heart skipped a beat when I hugged him, despite the fact that he was shorter than me with my heels on. I was so excited to see him. I couldn't believe the way he made me feel. I looked right past the fact that he's 5 feet 8 inches tall and instead focused on how he made me feel inside.

Sometimes I think God brought him to teach me a lesson. We've been having so much fun, and we are still dating four months later.

Ladies, please stop judging men by their height. It really doesn't matter! It took me 40 years to realize that. I came so close to passing up another fabulous opportunity. There is a whole lot more to a person than how tall they are, and I know I wouldn't want to be judged because of something so superficial. — Stiletto Sal

Dear Stiletto Sal: I have only one thing to say: Five feet 8 inches tall is not short! Danny Devito would kill to be that height!

There's a lot to be said for short men — really short men: They try harder. They don't have height going for them, so they have to develop their personality. They learn to be good listeners. They're more empathetic. They go the extra mile.

And then there's the physical side of things: They're easier to cuddle with. And they're easier on the back when you want to kiss standing up.

Dear Cheryl: My husband is selectively deaf. He hears everyone but me. I'll tell him something about where we're going or what we're doing or who called, and when I remind him, he says I never told him.

When I tell him I did tell him, he tells me I'm crazy. Sometimes I think maybe I am. He's so sure I didn't tell him, and I'm so sure I did.

What can I do about this? If a Wife Talks and Her Husband Does't Hear Her, Does She Make Noise?

Dear IAWTAHHDHHDSMN?: I'm sad to say that this is an extremely common problem. And it works both ways. Husbands tell their wives they'll be home late or that they're helping a friend on Saturday or they need a new iGadget, and the wives never hear it.

After a certain number of years together, husbands and wives become white noise. When you want your spouse to really hear you, you have to get in their face, get their attention, make eye contact, speak slowly, enunciate clearly and talk in short, declarative sentences. Then, mark the pertinent information on their calendar. Remind them the day before, and if necessary, stick a Post-it on their shirt.

I hope this helps.

Got a problem? Send it to [email protected] And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."

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