There are many responses to a divorce, from relief, to sadness, to anger. Some consider divorce proof of failure. Others see it as a passport to a heaven.
Kylie's reaction to hers was one of "sorrow and guilt." She wants us to help her decide whether it's justified.
Kylie has been married to Matt for 15 years. They have two children. Since the earliest days of their marriage, has come home from work and read the paper till it's time for bed. She said: "If he called me to look at something in the paper, I couldn't get too close because he didn't want me to brush against him. He didn't want to be bothered."
Over the years, Matt cheated on Kylie, swore at her and belittled her. And then there was his drinking. He'd get drunk and destroy things — phones, doors, whatever was handy.
She described the situation saying: "He'd get in the children's faces when he was drunk, scaring them and me. He'd tell them, 'You and your mother are the reason I drink.' Sometimes he'd get so drunk he'd black out and not remember anything he did. But he'd never apologize."
A year ago, after Matt swore at her for not knowing that the location of their son's basketball game had been changed, Kylie took off her wedding ring and told him she didn't want to be married anymore.
Kylie said: "As I said this I was handing him his lunch, so I really didn't mean it. I really wanted him to apologize. But that never happened."
Kylie stopped sleeping in their bed. She asked Matt a few times whether they could talk about their problems, but he refused. He started going out with friends all the time. He was never home. "He shut me out of his life," she said.
She found condoms among Matt's things. And she caught him with a woman. They decided it was time to divorce, and Matt gave her the names of attorneys. Now, Kylie is having second thoughts.
"I'm just wondering, if I hadn't stopped sleeping in our bed and had come to him — which I always did in the past when we fought — would we still be together? Maybe the other women and his staying away and not spending time with his kids would never have happened if I hadn't done that. Maybe he would have stayed home and we'd be a family.
"I'm on an emotional roller coaster. I have days when I know this divorce is what's needed and days when I want everything to work so we can be happy. I guess I'm trying to figure out whether I'm to blame for destroying four lives. You see, I've always wanted to make Matt happy. I never wanted to see him upset. I tried to shield him.
"Yes, the kids and I would still have to put up with his ways, but I'd have a husband. He was a good provider. But on the other hand, he'd tell me I wasted money.
"Right now, I'm scared to death about what will happen. I've never been alone. I'm uptight and on edge. My relationship with my kids has been strained because I'm so distraught. I only hope the future brings happiness for us all, even Matt.
"Did I ruin four lives, or make four lives happy? Maybe living like that was better than being alone."
What do you have to say to Kylie?
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