Dear John: How does hair color and style contribute to how much a person would find a potential partner attractive? Considering the amount of money hair care companies spend on creating new products, such as dyes, relaxants, shampoos, styling gels and much more, is it your opinion these items really work in enhancing a person's appeal? — Not Into It, in Denver
Dear Not Into It: Do I believe that beauty from a bottle increases a person's desirability? Let me put it this way: Looking good has a lot to do with feeling good about yourself, particularly in the competitive world of dating. Anything that makes someone feel more self-assured about his or her appearance has good reason for being popular. In truth, our best qualities, and those that are most important to the long-term success of a relationship, come from within, but sometimes we need a little help drawing that out. So curl, straighten, cut, gel or touch up at will. A warm smile and a confident manner can trump all that, but it can be a very big step just getting to "hello!"
Dear John: My boyfriend "Nick" has a difficult time controlling his temper. When he gets upset with me, he pushes all my buttons until the issue turns into a fight. In the beginning, I used to tell him I was leaving the room until we could both calm down, but then Nick would just follow me around the house. Next, I tried leaving the house to go for a drive, but he would call my cell repeatedly. So now, I stay and fight. I hate it, and I don't think that I can live like this, but I don't know what else to do! — Waiting for a Truce, in Lexington, Ky.
Dear Truce: Let Nick know that if he keeps pushing, he'll eventually push you away for good. Have a heart-to-heart talk with him when you both are calm, cool and collected. Ask him to help you set some ground rules that will allow for a fair exchange of views and promote compromise. Devise a signal that either of you can use to let the other know that he or she is stepping over these rules. During the next tiff, if he falls back into his old habits, turn your cell off, then get out and stay out unless he agrees to attend an anger management course. If he refuses to grow up and out of his bad behavior, that's his problem. You are hoping to be his life partner, not his baby-sitter.
John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by email by going to www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.