Finding Happiness

By Doug Mayberry

March 20, 2017 4 min read

Q: About a year ago, you wrote a column about finding happiness. I clipped it for future reference, but now I cannot find it in my files. Can you reprint it?

A: Sure thing! Here it is:

Q: I am in my 60s and widowed, and I'm finding myself becoming more unhappy and lonely. My finances are OK, and my doctor monitors me on an ongoing basis and tells me I am in good health.

However, I would like to feel like my old self, living more enthusiastically and positive.

Can you offer some advice?

A: People of every age occasionally find themselves having a bad day, where they are depressed, lonely or unhappy. This is a fact of life, but it does not mean that you cannot work on making these days better.

First, count your blessings and know that choosing a positive attitude is a winning goal and has a major influence on your outlook. Focus on that.

I guess that your down days are similar to how many of us live our lives.

We all face disasters in life, whether it's losing a lifetime friend who we cannot replace, experiencing an unavoidable accident, receiving a negative medical diagnosis, making a possibly disastrous financial decision, learning that you cannot trust a member of your family or having memory problems.

To help overcome these and other negatives, consider volunteering for a nonprofit organization for a workday. Helping others helps distract you from your problems, connect and share with other volunteers, and become more humble. All are winning solutions for many of our problems! — Doug

FAMILY ADJUSTMENTS

Q: My daughter recently found out some unfortunate news and has come to me for advice. Her son has been struggling in school for the last year, and they went to a doctor to figure out the issue.

He was diagnosed with ADHD, and my daughter and her husband don't know what to do. They are concerned that going on medication will problems later in life.

How can I help them?

A: Medical diagnoses often require that we make difficult decisions, but they also provide us with vital information. Knowing the nature of a problem makes us more equipped to address it.

First, consider how severe your grandson's condition is. If he is struggling to keep up with peers at school, the goal is to get him to be functional and ultimately thrive. Severe cases of ADHD may require medication.

However, medication is no panacea; it is one way to approach treatment. Current medications can have serious side effects.

Whatever else she does, she will also need to address your grandson's behavior. She should research ways for the family to accommodate his needs and reinforce positive change.

Your daughter will also benefit from seeking advice from his doctor and teachers. They can advise based on their own knowledge and experience, as well as point out valuable resources.

Finally, she should keep an eye on him and see how his needs change. Emphasize honest communication and support. — Emma, Doug's granddaughter

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at [email protected] Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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