She was only Late for 300 Seconds

By Dr. Robert Wallace

October 14, 2009 4 min read

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and so is my girlfriend. We have been going out every Friday and Saturday night for over a year. We're both honors students and active in school and church. We do not take drugs, smoke or drink alcohol and are not sexually active.

Until last week, Cindy had a 12:30 a.m. curfew. Just because she was five minutes late last Saturday, her father moved her curfew to midnight. This really has me upset. Why should she be punished for being late one time for a total of 300 seconds? The reason we were late was because I forgot to wear my watch and the clock on the dash of my car was five minutes slow.

I've talked to my girlfriend, and even though she doesn't think the punishment fits the "crime," she isn't too upset. I'm the one who is uptight. In reality, I'm also being punished and I don't think it's fair.

I would like to have a meeting with Cindy's father to explain my displeasure with her punishment. She doesn't want me to say anything to him about his unreasonable discipline. But my father agrees with me and wants me to talk to Cindy's father to see if he will change his mind about the shortened curfew. I'd like your opinion, please. — Jared, Las Vegas.

JARED: Take a deep breath and cool down. I can understand your being upset by the decision to shorten your girlfriend's curfew, but if you put your two cents' worth into the matter, believe me, you'll only make things worse.

Simply stated, this is none of your business. It's strictly between Cindy and her father. If Cindy is unhappy with the punishment, she needs to initiate a discussion about it. What you need to do is wear your watch when you go out and make sure you don't miss curfew again.

In all likelihood, her dad will let up soon enough and return his daughter to a 12:30 a.m. curfew. Meanwhile, savor your time with Cindy as all the more valuable.

KEEP CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH DAD

DR. WALLACE: My parents have just informed me that they are getting a divorce. My father will move out of the house and my brother and I will live here with our mother. I knew our parents weren't getting along, but I never thought they would end the marriage. It really makes me mad. How could they do this to my brother and me?

I love both my mother and father very much. I realize there is nothing you can do to help me or to get my parents to call off their divorce, but writing this has helped me get rid of some of my frustration. — Nameless, Willmar, Minn.

NAMELESS: It's always a shock to learn that your parents have decided to split up, even if you saw it coming. Resentment is one of the many emotions you are likely to feel. You may also experience guilt, depression and even fear.

It's natural to feel this way but, I assure you, time will ease the pain. Your father may be moving out, but he will still be your father and will no doubt do his utmost to maintain a strong bond with you. Indeed, your relationship with both parents may well improve. Vow to do everything possible to keep a close relationship with your dad.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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