Dear Larry: My daughter attended an antiwar rally this past weekend. When she came home all excited about the experience, she decided to suspend college and work full time trying to prevent war. My daughter said some pretty terrible things about the president and the military.

I told her I understand her concern about war, but we should always support our soldiers. She refused to relent and went so far as to say they were nothing but "robot murderers." I tried to reason with her, but nothing I said made any difference.

I hate to see her do something she will regret 20 years from now. She reminds me of myself when I was her age. You see, I was a Vietnam War protestor and still feel bad for hurting so many young men who gave so much.

I am a loyal reader of your column and think I remember you are a Vietnam combat veteran. If that is true, can you say something that will help her to understand her folly? — Hurting Mom

Dear Mom: You are correct about my service in Vietnam. I was an Army officer and fought during the big TET offensive in 1968. I experienced the horrors of war and its effects still haunt my life. I remember returning home straight from the heat of combat and 14 hours later in Oakland, Calif., trying to get inside a building for discharge. While we were going inside, a group of protestors screamed hateful words at us for serving, and one of the guys even received a face full of spittle.

Not once during and after discharge did anyone come to me and say thanks for my service. Not once did any of our leaders or even a friend pat me on my back and say something like, "I know many will not appreciate your service, but I for one thank you." No thanks and no understanding. Society either condemned or ignored my service. I just had to push my horrors inside and get on with my life the best way possible.

I believe my experience was typical. It is also my opinion Vietnam veterans had a harder time adjusting to civilian life because of society's rejection.

Your daughter must be made to understand that once the commander in chief decides to go to war, a soldier has no choice and must obey the orders of his superiors. In combat, the soldier will experience and do some unspeakable things. In blunt terms, soldiers are required to kill people and destroy things. This is what solders do, and they are not the only ones who do things like this.

The prisons are filled with people who have done the same things — kill and destroy. The only difference between the two groups is a soldier's actions are sanctioned, and the other is condemned by society. When soldiers are made to believe their actions are no different than a "Charlie Manson," it causes psychopathologies.

Normal people want to feel good about themselves and believe they are basically a good and moral people. When people are made to believe their behavior was wrong, it causes an emotional conflict that is in many cases difficult to resolve. Most veterans were able to cut through this mental morass and resume their lives in time. However, many were not able to do it alone and needed a skilled counselor or sympathetic friend.

Those who were not able to use this process successfully found solace with drugs and alcohol, and were never able to integrate back into society.

If your daughter feels the need to protest the war, it should be directed against the person who has the power to make the decision. The soldier is not the decision-maker.

To find out more about Larry Meeks and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.