Opinion> Roger Simon> The Secrets Of The Constitution

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The Secrets Of The Constitution!

Don't you wish the U.S. Constitution was not a secret document, its contents known only to a few?

Don't you wish there were copies of it that we could distribute to schoolchildren so they could become better citizens? Or maybe we could put it up on the Web for everybody to read?

What? The Constitution is not a secret document? Schoolchildren do learn about it? And it is on the Web?

I don't think so. And I think I can prove it.

Example One: A major magazine recently published an article about New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg and California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger. It concluded by quoting billionaire investor Warren Buffett on the subject of a Bloomberg-Schwarzenegger ticket in 2008.

The article stated: "Buffett thinks it's a great idea, and when he first heard it, he turned to the Constitution. 'I wanted to see if Schwarzenegger could be his Vice President,' Buffett said. 'I think he could.' It states that the President must be native born, but it's silent on the Vice President. 'That would be one hell of a team, wouldn't it?'"

Wow, it sure would be. But the Constitution is not "silent" on whether the vice president must be "native born."

The Twelfth Amendment, ratified on June 15, 1804, states: "But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States."

And since the Constitution demands that our presidents be "natural born," that means vice presidents must be also. So Schwarzenegger, born in Thal, Austria, will have to be satisfied for now with being a governor and a five-time Mr. Universe.

You are saying two things: First, Warren Buffett has enough money to buy up all the copies of the Constitution and change them any way he wants. This is true.

You are also saying: How do I know what is in the Constitution since the document is secret?

I can't tell you.

Not exactly. Let's just say that when I was in high school I went to the National Archives on a class trip and I saw a copy of the Constitution in a glass case. And you know what? It is still there! (Please do not tell anybody. I would get in so much trouble.) And the guy who guards it takes a break at the same time every night, and sometimes they forget to lock the basement door, and, well, you get the picture.

Example Two: In another major magazine this week, there was another article about Bloomberg, this time about how Bloomberg could run as a vice presidential candidate.

It stated: "If Hillary Clinton is the nominee, she cannot pick Bloomberg. The Constitution bars the election of a president and vice president from the same state."

Not quite. The Constitution states: "The Electors shall meet in their respective states, and vote by ballot for President and Vice-President, one of whom, at least, shall not be an inhabitant of the same state with themselves."

So Hillary Clinton and Bloomberg could run on the same ticket, but they would have to give up the 31 electoral votes from New York, which would not matter if they won in an electoral vote landslide.

Third Example: Recently, an article appeared saying that if Mitt Romney became president and pardoned Scooter Libby, then Romney should also pardon a kid who got in trouble in Massachusetts at age 13 for shooting another kid with a BB gun.

But the Constitution says the president "shall have power to Grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offenses against the United States except in Cases of Impeachment."

And since shooting a kid with a BB gun is a state offense and not an offense against the United States, Romney could not grant that pardon.

Who was the doofus who wrote that article?

Uh, me.

So maybe we should keep the Constitution secret.

To find out more about Roger Simon, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.