Opinion> Roger Simon> Denmark On The Hudson

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Denmark on the Hudson

Note to readers: The following Roger Simon column was first published in May 1997.

WASHINGTON — Denmark and the United States are two completely different countries. You're going to have to take my word on this one.

Denmark is a small country — about the size of Massachusetts and New Hampshire combined — located in northern Europe.

The United States is a very large country in North America.

There are other differences: In Denmark, they speak Danish, they have a king, and they leave their babies unattended in strollers outside restaurants.

In America, we speak English (frequently), we have a president, and we would no more leave a baby unattended in a stroller on a city street than push that stroller into traffic.

A 30-year-old Copenhagen TV actress by the name of Annette Sorensen caused an international incident when she left her 14-month-old daughter outside a Manhattan restaurant for an hour while she and the child's father, an American, had a drink inside.

The child began crying — it was a chilly night — and both customers and waiters asked Sorensen to attend to her kid, either bringing her inside or going out and seeing what was wrong.

Sorensen was unconcerned. "The baby is fine," she was quoted as saying.

Somebody didn't think the baby was fine and called the cops. Sorensen and the baby's father were both arrested, charged with child endangerment, and tossed in jail for 48 hours. The baby was placed in foster care.

This became enormous news in Denmark (where there is often a shortage of enormous news), and the actions by U.S. authorities were denounced as "grotesque."

This then lead to an outbreak of lectures by various Danes telling us grotesque Americans why Denmark is really a much more civilized place than the United States by virtue of the fact that babies are left alone outside restaurants there.

A Danish woman by the name of Elisabeth Kallick Dyssegaard, who earns her living in New York, wrote an op-ed page piece for The New York Times explaining patiently that in Denmark "all Danish babies nap outside, even in freezing weather." Also, leaving your baby unattended on a city street for an hour "would have been perfectly normal" in Denmark.

The writer also said she "laughed in disbelief at this gross cultural misunderstanding."

Danish authorities echoed the same theme. This was a "clash of cultures." And the superior culture was clearly Denmark's, where parents park their kids like Americans park their cars.

Personally, I will not argue which culture is superior. I don't believe in such comparisons. I would only like to say one thing to our Danish critics: Hello? What country did all this happen in? Was it in Denmark? I don't think so.

I would also advise both Sorensen, the mother, and Dyssegaard, the writer, to take a look around them. Does it look like Denmark out there? Do they see the Little Mermaid anywhere? Are people walking around munching on herrings?

Nope. What they see is New York, a vibrant, wonderful and often dangerous American city.

In New York, people chain down flowerpots so they are not stolen. In New York, you leave a baby unattended in a stroller for an hour and you are lucky if you come back to find your kid sharing the stroller with a homeless family. You are lucky if you find your kid at all.

And besides, why does everybody keep ignoring the role of the father in all this? He's not some naive Dane. He's an American living in Brooklyn. And people in Brooklyn know what life in Manhattan is like, if only from movies.

After Sorensen was released, she was reunited with her kid and charges against her were dropped. The Danish paper Ekstrabladet ran the headline: "USA Nightmare Over — Free." And another Danish paper, B.T., ran the headline: "We Won."

Sorensen said, "As soon as possible, I will return to Denmark."

Which is a good idea. But I would like to give her just one piece of advice:

Don't forget to take the kid with you.

To find out more about Roger Simon, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.