Admit It, You're Bored

Am I the only one who finds it extremely suspicious that the revolution in Egypt was declared over exactly at the point U.S. viewers were willing to kick in their flat screens rather than watch another minute of people milling around Tahrir Square?

I am not trying to minimize the importance of the Egyptian revolution, its place in history or its lasting contribution to freedom in the Mideast. I'm just saying that after 18 days, most Americans were so bored watching it they were beginning to check out cable channels they didn't know existed. (Did you know there is a channel devoted to people who want to watch pets? Or maybe it is a channel devoted to pets who want to watch people.)

As any TV producer can tell you, there has to be an arc to a good story: brave oppressed people begin revolution; brave oppressed people fight revolution; brave oppressed people win (or lose) revolution.

In Egypt, we got stuck at the stage "brave oppressed people talk about the revolution endlessly."

Interesting stories also need interesting personalities if they are to go on for day after day. Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak was hiding away somewhere under the pyramids in a gold-lined crypt where he could count his rubies and emeralds, but he was not giving interviews.

The revolution itself — and perhaps this is why it succeeded — lacked a clearly defined leadership. It reminded one of the (almost certainly apocryphal) quotation by 19th-century French politician Alexandre Auguste Ledru-Rollin, who allegedly said: "There go the people. I must follow them, for I am their leader."

But if there were a lack of leaders, there were plenty of man and woman on-the-street interviews. Some were fascinating, but many were repetitive, especially if you channel-surfed. That brave Google executive in his polo shirt with the big lion on it was very interesting — the first 25 times I saw him. After that, I got a little bored.

I admit the fault was mine. But I could not help concentrating on the fashion of the revolution, especially the jackets worn by the American newsmen.

Egypt is a country in which 44 percent of the population lives on less than $2 per day. So you can imagine the shock and awe those jackets must have caused. Instead of chanting "Freedom, freedom, freedom!" I expected the crowd to start chanting, "Prada, Prada, Prada!"

Back at home, the TV talking heads were denied the ability to don splendid foreign correspondent jackets, but they were allowed to don the cloak of universal knowledge. Some network commentators are very, very smart people. They know a lot about a few things and a little about a lot of things.

But overnight, they all were transformed into experts on Egypt. How did this happen? How did they go from experts on U.S. politics, which is mostly what they talk about, to experts on a country that may be more than 10,000 years old and has a very complex modern history? They may all be geniuses. Or else they know how to use Wikipedia. In either case, they spoke with what TV requires: absolute confidence, no matter if you know what you are saying or not.

All this dragged on for 18 days, which is a very, very long time for a story in which the violence diminishes instead of increases.

But after that period, somebody — perhaps the U.S. TV networks — decided they needed a new story. And Hosni Mubarak cooperated by resigning and holing up in one of his magnificent villas in the resort town Sharm el-Sheikh. So the revolution was declared a success, and while some reporters scattered to find other countries where there might be revolutions, most U.S. reporters flew home to cover President Barack Obama's budget.

I don't know if the budget battle will last for 18 days, but I do know it is an important, even vital, story. So I am hoping the correspondents get to wear their jackets.

To find out more about Roger Simon, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.

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