Roger Simon from Creators Syndicate

The Birth of Political Television for 08/21/2009

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 00:00:00 -0700

In March 1948, Don Hewitt was 26 years old and working at Acme News Pictures in New York handling photographs, when a friend called from CBS telling him there was a job for him there.

In 1948, CBS meant radio, and Hewitt was confused. "What would a radio network want with a guy with picture experience?" Hewitt asked.

"It's television," his friend said.

& ...

Updated: Fri Aug 21, 2009

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In the Land Beyond Outrage for 08/25/2009

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Ask Dr. Politics! You ask the questions; we lack the outrage.

Dear Dr. Politics: I am outraged by the release of the Lockerbie Bomber. This guy kills 270 people, including 189 Americans, and now goes free while cheering crowds in Libya strew flower petals in his path. Where is the outrage?

Reply: Unfortunately, outrage no longer exists. Maybe it all got used up. We all now live in ...

Updated: Tue Aug 25, 2009

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Ted Kennedy Without Tears for 08/27/2009

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Ted Kennedy sat back in the soft upholstery of the car and looked out at the dark countryside speeding by the window. Every now and then, an oncoming car's headlights would light the famous features that once tantalized a nation, and then the car would pass and leave him bathed in darkness again.

He was tired and idly played with a felt-tip pen, clicking his thumb against the top of it. ...

Updated: Thu Aug 27, 2009

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Huckabee: No More Mr. Nice Guy for 09/02/2009

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0700

It is official: When the Republicans run against Barack Obama in 2012, there will be no more Mr. Nice Guy.

Mike Huckabee was that guy last time around. When he ran for the Republican nomination in 2008, he was amiable and affable. He even told jokes.

Though he had served as governor of Arkansas for more than eight years, he would tell audiences, "A Republican in my state feel ...

Updated: Wed Sep 02, 2009

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Twenty-one presidential Vacation No-Nos for 09/04/2009

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0700

The 21 things you can't say to the president on his summer vacation:

1. Two weeks' paid vacation after only seven months on the job? Sweet!

2. Joe Biden says he's willing to caddy if you let him play golf with you.

3. Cable at Camp David? Nobody told us you wanted cable at Camp David!

4. Chuck Grassley wants to know why he's invited to Yellowstone only if he sits on ...

Updated: Fri Sep 04, 2009

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Time to Stop the Health Care Tease for 09/09/2009

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Each desk in the West Wing of the White House should have the same sign on it as the staff helps the president prepare for his health care speech on Wednesday: KISS.

Keep It Specific, Stupid.

This is no time for a lofty speech. We do not need inspiration. The time for inspiration has passed — the time for perspiration is at hand.

Even though the speech will be before ...

Updated: Wed Sep 09, 2009

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Line in the Sand, Squiggle in the Mud for 09/11/2009

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0700

The guy knows how to give a speech. Give him that.

Barack Obama's speech to a joint session of Congress Wednesday night was both an elegant celebration of the American character and a strong denunciation of our current inability in this country to "engage in a civil conversation."

But will it really help him pass health care reform? Did it really draw any lines in the sa ...

Updated: Fri Sep 11, 2009

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Joe Wilson: The Dems' Rude Herring for 09/16/2009

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0700

It is far easier for the Democrats to deal with Joe Wilson than it is to deal with health care reform, so they will deal with Joe Wilson.

Joe Wilson is the simpleton from South Carolina who shouted, "You lie!" at the president during his address to Congress last week.

Health care is an extremely complex and important problem that won't go away until Congress sits down an ...

Updated: Wed Sep 16, 2009

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Rude but Not Racist for 09/18/2009

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0700

When Kanye West rushed onstage and grabbed the microphone away from Taylor Swift at the MTV Video Music Awards the other day, was he being a racist? Or was he just being rude?

Me, I thought he was just being rude. In any case, he apologized. And life moved on.

When Serena Williams yelled at a line judge at the U.S. Open Saturday night, was Williams being a racist? Or was she just ...

Updated: Fri Sep 18, 2009

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From Mission Creep to Mission Gallop for 09/23/2009

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0700

I love the smell of catnip in the morning.

Catnip is what President Barack Obama says attracts media attention: behavior that is "rude" or "outrageous" or "trying to evoke strong emotion" and create "conflict."

Today's catnip, however, is only some of those things. Does it evoke strong emotion? Yes. Will it create conflict? Yes.

But i ...

Updated: Wed Sep 23, 2009

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The Depth of a Salesman for 09/25/2009

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0700

It is Oct. 1, 1934. A group of rumpled reporters sit in a dimly lit bar, around a cigarette-scarred table a few blocks from the White House. They are drinking rye and wearing hats.

"Did you hear FDR last night?" one says. "How many fireside chats does that make for him so far?"

"Six!" says the second reporter. "Six fireside chats in the past 18 m ...

Updated: Fri Sep 25, 2009

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Making the List for 09/30/2009

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0700

The media have an obsession with lists: The 50 Most Influential People. The 10 Most Powerful. The Five Sexiest.

Did you make any of those lists? Or the scores of other lists? Don't feel bad. You'll make some list someday. It's inevitable.

In 1968, Andy Warhol said that in the future everybody would be famous for 15 minutes. He was talking about how the media needed to create celeb ...

Updated: Wed Sep 30, 2009

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Brilliance Doesn't Always Equal Virtue for 10/02/2009

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700

We are blinded by the light. We are dazzled by the brilliant. We wish to believe they are good even when we know they are not.

The relationship between talent and virtue does not seem to be a strong one. In fact, there doesn't seem to be a relationship at all.

Take three examples: Jack Henry Abbott, Roman Polanski and Michael Jackson.

Not many people remember Abbott today, ...

Updated: Fri Oct 02, 2009

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Calling for Barack the Bold for 10/07/2009

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Obama in defeat. Head hung low. Chin on chest. Feet dragging along the ground.

He has lost the Olympics! (Which means half of Chicago is now cheering him.) He dared to leave the White House and go boldly where no president has gone before.

And he failed. Even some of his supporters say that going to Copenhagen, Denmark, to make a pitch to the International Olympic Committee was a ...

Updated: Wed Oct 07, 2009

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The Hall of Jerks for 10/09/2009

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Jerks. You know who you are. But why do there seem to be more of them around this year? Or did we always have the Joe Wilsons, and Alan Graysons, and John Ensigns, and Kanye Wests, and just not notice them as much?

We notice them now. They intrude upon our lives and must be labeled for what they are.

So others can have their Halls of Fame — we have the Hall of Jerks.

...

Updated: Fri Oct 09, 2009

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Ex-Parliamentarian's Advice: Cool it for 10/14/2009

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Bob Dove worked in the U.S. Senate for 35 years, has both a Ph.D. and a law degree, and now lectures on the world's greatest deliberative body both at The George Washington University and on the occasional cruise ship.

When I asked him the main function the Senate serves, his answer was quick, firm and surprising.

"The U.S. Senate is designed to keep bad laws from passing,&qu ...

Updated: Wed Oct 14, 2009

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Guy Talk for 10/28/2009

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Note: The following column was first published in April 1998.

The phone rings. It is my friend, Larry.

"Catch you at a bad time?" he asks.

No, no, I pant. Why?

"You seem a little out of breath."

Oh, that, I say. No, I've just been vacuuming.

I immediately regret saying this. This is not guy talk. But I am caught off-guard. I have bee ...

Updated: Wed Oct 28, 2009

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Triumph of Spirit Over Adversity in Berlin for 10/30/2009

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Note: The following column was first published in May 1998/

BERLIN — The old woman stood clutching the two pink roses in her hand, along with a piece of plain white paper on which she had written four words: "Danke, USA! Thank you."

Traudel Jannietz is 75 now, her hair white, her step not as sure as it was 50 years ago when she lived in West Berlin and waited every ...

Updated: Fri Oct 30, 2009

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A Blast From the Junior High Past for 11/04/2009

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0800

Note: The following column was first published in November 2000.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The e-mail began just fine.

"I saw you on CSPAN this morning, (and) I think we were in the same seventh-grade homeroom at Blackhawk Junior High," the writer wrote.

I do, of course, remember attending Blackhawk Junior High, even though it was decades ago. I even remember its f ...

Updated: Wed Nov 04, 2009

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A New Generation of Bachelor Parties for 11/06/2009

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0800

Note: The following column was first published in July 1999.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — I was the last one to arrive at the bachelor party, and the conversation had already turned to breasts.

"I am such an idiot," one of the party-goers said, literally smacking himself in the forehead with the heel of his hand. "I have the breast pump in the car. And Amy is going to n ...

Updated: Fri Nov 06, 2009

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