Sisterhood of the Mocking Malamutes

No matter what the Republican revisionists say, history will record that it was not a Democratic man who threw the live grenade of sexism into a crowded national political convention in 2008. It was a Republican woman.

It was Gov. Sarah Palin, John McCain's impetuous pick to be his vice president.

In an otherwise punchy acceptance speech by a relative unknown, Gov. Palin chose to mar her big moment with a wink, a smile and a pox on all her sisters' houses.

Thanks to her and the rowdies at the GOP national convention, we finally have the answer to that metaphysical riddle: "Who let the dogs out?" Some of us have been losing sleep over that one. Well, that and why community organizers have become the Willie Hortons and welfare moms of this election cycle.

Palin's "pit bull with lipstick" line surely will go down in history — if not the Feminism Hall of Shame — as one of the dumbest things a trailblazing smart woman ever said in public on this side of Stepford.

Since her debut in Minnesota, post-convention sales have gone up on T-shirts with slogans such as "My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom."

Given this sentiment and how the McSame Republicans seem to like watching women go at it, the menfolk in charge of the next convention might want to consider installing a rubber mat and introducing Jell-O wrestling at their next national frat party.

That's sure to delight the flat-earth delegates who believe foreign policy experience is relative to one's proximity to Vladimir Putin. But for the moment, let's just let those sleeping dogs lie, shall we? No sense poking them more than we have to before November.

Palin has repeated her pit bull punch line at campaign stops from Mayberry to Mumford with no sense of regret or recognition of any hurtful gender politics.

In so doing, she subliminally reminded the thinking public — and you know who you are — of the earlier vulgarity artfully uttered by none other than that grand Republican dame, the Duchess Bush of Kennebunkport.

The duchess looked down upon an ambitious New Yorker — the nation's first female veep pick from a major political party, the Democrats — and said, "Rhymes with witch." What is a pit bull with lipstick if not a female dog? A malamute with a wide stance? It's certainly not a sow.

Pit Bull Palin, with more vigor and less political capital than the duchess, does bring to the forum equal deprecation and mocking wit. Sooner, rather than later, people will realize that this dog won't hunt.

Until then, as we say here in Banjo Country, "Ain't she purty?"

As sure as I am that Palin was not vetted properly for this historic opportunity, I am equally confident that the pit bull reference, like most of that remarkable speech, neither was written by a woman nor approved by a woman of any merit. (Come back, Peggy Noonan. All is forgiven!)

But because Palin is the woman who keeps repeating the pit bull line, she clearly has taken ownership of it and therefore gets both the credit and blame.

If she's going to run with the big dogs who think so little of their country as to prop up her candidacy and that of a dishonorable, desperate hound limping on his final leg 'round the dog track, then she ought not be surprised by the results.

Remember when Republicans lauded the image of strong Republican women, as once defined by Kirkpatrick, Kassebaum, Whitman and Rice, among others? The party of Eisenhower, Goldwater and Reagan is now the Grand Old Pit Bull Party and has set up Palin as both raging junkyard dog and doe-eyed pup needing adoption and protection. Make up your minds, boys!

Truthfully, the voters really do have a dog in this fight to stop the loyal Bushies from continuing to wreck the country and wage war without provocation. It's just that it's not that old hunting dog howling at the Sedona moon. And it ain't the Maybelline pit bull from Wasilla, either.

Rhonda Chriss Lokeman (RCLCreators@kc.rr.com) is a contributing editor to The Kansas City Star. To find out more about Rhonda Chriss Lokeman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.