See No Evil, Speak No Evil, Hear No Evil

Well, fellow Americans, it depends on what you mean by "waterboarding," doesn't it? Or, as they say in the Ozarks, "War is hell.'' So let's just throw out the Bill of Rights with the electrified bathwater, shall we?

Abu Ghraib atrocities? Just a figment of our sadistic imaginations brought on by a bit of undigested falafel. Same with extraordinary rendition. Black-op interrogations in foreign gulags? All legit, so please excuse the dog leashes and duct tape, except when used against our men and women in uniform.

Having recently turned over our privacy to White House spying, Democrats again blinked in a staring contest with the Republican minority. Their votes helped confirm Michael Mukasey as the new U.S. attorney general.

He's no Alberto Gonzales, but then again, who is? In fact, "Anybody but Gonzales" is how Mukasey got confirmed. Puh-leeze!

Even California's Sen. Dianne Feinstein, who must've fallen and hit her head, claimed Mukasey was as good as we were going to get from this administration. And Sen. Charles Schumer huffed and puffed but never was going to blow the house down so long as a fellow New Yorker was the nominee.

White House apparatchiks knew what they were doing. They're so cute when they're Machiavellian.

So, start spreading the news! By a vote of 53-40, with all Republicans in favor, Mukasey sailed through. Another victory for the lawless Bush regime.

Democrats on the Judiciary Committee at first spurned Mukasey over his reluctance at hearings to adequately address waterboarding as torture. They soon changed their minds after Mukasey sent them a letter. It was a "slam dunk,'' as George Tenet would say.

Maybe the next nominee will text lawmakers from a cell phone. Sure beats the heck out of sitting down before a Senate panel and swearing "to tell the truth, the whole truth so help you God.'' Avoiding sworn testimony worked so well for Alberto Gonzales, didn't it?

Yes, citizens, by giving the correct answer to an essay question, you, too, can become the nation's chief law enforcer.

Just tell 'em what they want to hear — that you find forcibly drowning someone "personally repugnant'' — and the job's a cinch. Since when do personal convictions trump legal interpretations at the Justice Department?

Maybe to the Bush administration, being attorney general is not all that important versus being Karen Hughes, which is. Maybe to these folks, the Justice Department is little more than an annex of the executive branch, which is what it was when Gonzales was in charge.

Nothing to lose here in the land of the free and the home of the brave, they figure. Nothing to lose? How about the rule of law? And our civil liberties? Last but not least, our minds, as we wait out an imperial presidency that pitched its moral compass.

Meanwhile, let us direct our democratic attentions to Pakistan. We can debate how what's happening there affects Bush's "global war on terror" now that Gen. Pervez Musharraf has gone off the deep end. But at least he has met resistance from Pakistani lawyers, many of whom have been arrested for speaking up about how the government has crushed dissent and declared martial law for political expediency.

Their stand against injustice, tyranny and abuse of power is commendable.

Haven't heard much lately from the lawyers in Congress, many of whom, by their voting records, seem content with the status quo. That is a pity because this country, a democratic model for the rest of the world, has much more to lose than, say, Pakistan, if abuse of power continues to go unchecked.

History has shown that the attorney general sometimes has clashed with the executive branch to uphold the Constitution and other laws. That didn't happen under Gonzales. One wonders whether it will under Mukasey.

Mukasey may not be a distinguished attorney general, but he already has distinguished himself as a good lawyer. To the Senate, he presented his case, argued his defense, told people what they wanted to hear and won.

Rhonda Chriss Lokeman (lokeman@kcstar.com) is a columnist for The Kansas City Star. To find out more about Rhonda Chriss Lokeman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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