Paging Dr. Freud
If you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.
Proof that our president never heard this adage is in how he conducts the war in Iraq: badly.
If confirmed as President Bush's war czar, Lt. Gen. Douglas Lute will need a pick ax and miner's helmet to get out of the pit his commander in chief created.
Yes, our fearless leader just dug a deeper hole. You find this hard to believe, I'm sure.
The Decider decided he needed someone in whom he could divest his responsibilities in — and for — Iraq and Afghanistan. (The press calls this new position "war czar." The White House gave him a loftier title without a real promotion or authority.)
In some European countries, the defense minister is known as the war secretary. Currently we have in that position a smart and capable man, Bob Gates, who replaced Donald Rumsfeld, the worst defense secretary in our history for the worst president in our history.
We also have Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. He's no Colin Powell, but then again, who is?
There is also Gen. David Petraeus, commander of allied forces in Iraq and Afghanistan. Even critics of the surge agree that choosing him was one of the best decisions The Decider ever made.
So, why in Patton's name did the White House undercut these generals with a plan to install a lower-ranking officer for a new post that smacks of redundancy and smells of desperation?
The Decider can't help himself, that's why.
Clearly our president didn't get enough of those little green Army men that were toys of boys who played war games in their defining years. Because of this childhood deprivation — Babs Dearest! — the future president grew up lacking the necessities to even go the distance in the National Guard.
At least the mediocre lad who was to the manor born had his pedigree.
Bush's obsession with militarism reminds me of the guy who instead of popping Viagra buys a shiny red Porsche. He overcompensates. Rather than feel the need for speed, Bush feels the need to surge.
The guy has one heckuva industrial military complex. He changes military dress as often as a cross-dresser changes between cabaret sets. He likes to surround himself with people in uniform, too. Our emperor indeed has clothes. His Freudian slip is showing. But I digress.
Lute gets high marks, but his job requires Senate confirmation. Despite his credentials, lawmakers should reject this superfluous post as confusing for the chain of command. Bush's proposed right-hand man in Iraq and Afghanistan is ranked lower than the generals who actually are running the war operation.
You realize that the biggest job creation program in Bush II's tenure has been militaristic, don't you? First came homeland security czar. Then galpal Karen Hughes went on the State payroll as head propagandist overseas. Now comes the war czar.
Bush would do better naming a court jester. It would help the rest of us laugh to keep from crying. Plus, it would make sense as we witness the ongoing madness of our own King George.
Do we really need a czar for Iraq and Afghanistan? What next, a czar for Iran? For North Korea? Bush tried the war thing, and that doesn't seem to be working. How about something new, like dialogue and diplomacy?
Bush knowingly gave Lute, an active duty officer, an offer he couldn't refuse. Lute wasn't known as a lackey, but this post will make him one. War is hell, especially for those who do the fighting, not the deciding.
Rhonda Chriss Lokeman (firstname.lastname@example.org) is a columnist for the Kansas City Star. To find out more about Rhonda Chriss Lokeman, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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