It's a Small Small World

WASHINGTON — At the numerous buildings here that make up the Smithsonian Institution, you will find creatures great and small and an abundance of curiosities. This taxpayer-supported jewel is an American treasure.

Here you'll find lunar capsules, Lewis and Clark's compass and a slide rule too big to fit into a Mini Cooper.

View the guts of a missile. Stand awestruck before Babe Ruth's autographed baseball. Behold a section of the Greensboro lunch counter from the Woolworth's sit-ins. See a Buffalo Soldier's jacket.

Thomas Edison's light bulb and Thomas Jefferson's Bible are here. So is the cardigan worn by Mr. Rogers. Abe Lincoln's stovepipe hat looks smaller in person.

Gen. Custer's fringe jacket probably could fit Tom Cruise. So might Cesar Chavez's union jacket. Speaking of small men, Prince's guitar is here.

Gen. George Washington's uniform looks spiffy. Marvel at the scarecrow costume and those ruby-red slippers. Louis Armstrong's coronet and a handwritten John Coltrane composition are worth the trip. See some of the Star Wars gang, Kermit and a handwritten Julia Child recipe.

Such an inventory cannot be digested in one outing. There are too many items to list even in this space. Better to give a sampling of what you won't see.

You won't find French doors or the $15,000 receipt for them that typified former Smithsonian Secretary Lawrence M. Small's lifestyle. After seven years, Small was forced to resign after a confidential Smithsonian inspector general audit was reported in the Washington Post.

None of the Smithsonian properties open to the public has displayed the $2,535 tab Small submitted for cleaning a home chandelier. Don't expect to see the $13,000 custom-built conference table and the two George Smith chairs for $4,000, either.

Despite leaky museum roofs reported by the Government Accountability Office, Small took care of his home roof, billing the Smithsonian for a $5,700 repair. He lived beyond his $915,000 salary.

You'd think a former banker would better handle other people's money.

At first, the Smithsonian Board of Regents shunned the audit that found his expenses "might be considered lavish and extravagant." The Post reported that the board found his expenses reasonable. After Congress took interest, the board sensibly accepted his resignation in late March.

The Smithsonian's inspector general handed in a confidential report, but she still served the public interest by identifying waste and questionable expenditures such as $90,000 Small spent for unauthorized travel.

The audit found "no evidence of fraud or abuse," yet the newspaper reported that Small had labeled $20,000 in undocumented expenses as "reimbursement," "one-time vendor" or "Smithsonian petty cash." Nice work, if you can get it!

You may find Marilyn Monroe's gloves here, but not Small's resignation letter, a fascinating artifact depicting a white-collar correspondence typical of artful dodges.

"Having spent countless days and evenings promoting the interests of the Institution and having contributed over a half a million dollars of my own money as well, it has truly been a labor of love," Small wrote. "I'm most grateful to my colleagues in the Smithsonian's leadership team and all those throughout the Institution who have contributed so much during my tenure as Secretary." The board's response reads like a reference letter.

Neither Small nor the board took ownership of the problem. In Small's letter, one also catches a whiff of the stench of entitlement.

The Smithsonian, like similar institutions, survives partly from generous patrons who help reduce the public investment. But it is one thing to accept private money and quite another to pimp for corporate interests.

Small wasn't working on behalf of the little guy who enters the National Air and Space Museum to see the Lilienthal Hang-Glider for free. What does keeping his home pool heated have to do with protecting precious relics at public museums? For a Small, he liked living large.

Rhonda Chriss Lokeman (lokeman@kcstar.com) is a columnist for the Kansas City Star. To find out more about Rhonda Chriss Lokeman, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2007 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC