Don't Worry, Keep Drilling

As Hurricane Gustav hammered the Gulf Coast, sparing Louisiana and elsewhere Katrina's wrath but not evacuations and power outages, President George W. Bush had a singular message for the alarmed populace: Don't worry, keep drilling.

More important to Bush than displaced and distressed fellow Americans were the nearly 4,000 oil- and gas-production platforms along the coast that had endured hurricane-strength winds.

With Gustav still on the radar and Hanna on the way, the president with the reputation for handling disasters worse than any other predictably put the oilogarchy first and we, the people, second.

"When Congress comes back, they've got to understand that we need more domestic energy, not less," said the self-described compassionate conservative. "One place to find it is offshore America, lands that have been taken off the books, so to speak, by congressional law."

Never mind that Congress makes legislation, which presidents then veto or sign into law. The civics lesson — like the attention span — could not have been made any clearer. The president who famously said "America is addicted to oil" fed the monkey on our backs, with an ill-timed political stunt and an appeal for more domestic drilling.

Showing careless and callous miscalculation, Bush II in July rescinded President George H.W. Bush's drilling prohibition. More recently, he ignored a population's angst over Gustav in order to pass Big Oil's baton to Sen. John McCain, named presidential nominee at the Republican National Convention and who most likely would continue the Bush-Cheney oilogarchy with help from running mate Sarah Palin.

So, fellow Americans, in keeping with the spirit of a president who sees humor where there is none, sing along with Dubya to the tune of Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy":

 

Here's a little song I wrote.

You might want to sing it note for note.

Don't worry; keep drilling.

 

In every term, we've had some trouble,

But thank you for making oil profits double.

Don't worry; keep drilling.

 

Ain't got no place to lay your head.

The bank took your home and then took your bed.

Don't worry; keep drilling.

 

Fuel costs, oil prices start to escalate.

Meanwhile your wages and rent are late.

Don't worry; keep drilling.

 

Katrina, Gustav, Hanna and Ike,

I try to treat all hurricanes alike.

So don't worry; keep drilling.

 

Russia and Iran are raising hell.

We're not in recession, though, far as I can tell.

Don't worry; keep drilling.

 

Got no cash? Got your bills in a pile?

Hey, McCain's got a pretty girl to make you smile.

So don't worry; keep drilling.

 

'Cause when you worry, your face will frown.

That kind of thinking brings the stock market down.

So don't worry; keep drilling.

 

In your life, expect some trouble,

But in four more years, just watch it double.

So don't worry; keep drilling.

 

Fighting John will hunt bin Laden to hell,

Leaving Palin in charge; won't that be swell?

So don't worry; keep drilling.

 

Bert Gonzales took top-secret files to his home.

Doesn't this remind you of the fall of Rome?

So don't worry; keep drilling.

 

Democrats think they can take my throne.

That's why we're feeding folks red meat off the bone.

So don't worry; keep drilling.

 

Halliburton moved to Dubai offshore,

But if you liked that group, McCain-Palin has more.

So don't worry; keep drilling.

 

In Minnesota, John tried to push away from me,

But Rove and the neocon cronies still smell victory.

So don't worry; keep drilling.

 

Rhonda Chriss Lokeman (RCLCreators@kc.rr.com) is a contributing editor to The Kansas City Star.

To find out more about Rhonda Chriss Lokeman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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