Just What Israel Needs: More Jewish Sushi ChefsIf you've been reading the papers, you know that most sushi chefs in Israel are Asian. Now, I didn't think that was so unusual until I realized that chop suey is probably one of the most popular Jewish foods in the world. Oh yes. Drive to any Jewish neighborhood in a Western city and it will be inundated with Chinese restaurants and take-out. (I'm not sure who I offended more with the stereotype, so I apologize to everyone.) You see, I always thought Chinese food was Kosher. Every time my wife and I planned a celebration for some national holiday or event, I would suggest an Arab restaurant and she, being Jewish, would recommend Chinese take-out. I always ask my wife, who is Jewish, "What is Israeli food?" She'd always start out by naming recipes and foods that are clearly Arab, such as falafel, hummus and shawerma. Shawerma is Israeli? Come on. That's going too far. The Arabs rightly stole the shawerma sandwich from the Greeks, who call it a gyro. And now the Israelis have stolen it from us. But then she would quickly end up listing Aspirin, Pepto Bismal and wine. Or is it "whine?" That's why, as I was scanning through the Middle East headlines (as I always do when I'm bored and have nothing important to do), I came across a little story about how someone in Israel's government bureaucracy must have been hungry and came up with the notion that there are too many Asians working in Chinese restaurants and take-outs in Israel. So they've created a program to provide money to IDF soldiers so they can go to school and learn how to make sushi. I don't think I need to explain sushi to an Israel. It's basically the Jewish version of the highly prized Arabian food stuffed grape leaves, or, in Arabic, Warak Diwaly. Yes, some genius discovered that most of the cooks in Chinese take-out restaurants in Israel are Asian, not Jewish. It's a project, I read, of the Israeli Defense Ministry; the Industry, Trade and Labor Ministry; and the Gross Foundation, which provides scholarships for discharged soldiers. I wouldn't know this first-hand, of course; I am Arab and so are all of my relatives.
In Arabic, rolling grape leaves is referred to as lif wariq. I have no idea how to say "roll" in Hebrew. The whole concept has changed the way I view sushi. I love sushi. Well ... I don't really like sushi, per se. I like the rolls, which are called "maki sushi." The most popular is the California roll. I'm an expert cook, by the way, if you haven't already noticed. I watched my mother in the kitchen roll grape leaves for the first 40 years of my life, until I got married to a Jewish woman who made me realize that working in a kitchen is not the most profitable way to spend one's life. It's so much easier to order out and have someone else do the heavy labor while my wife and I enjoy the meal. I've made stuffed grape leaves. Mine are the best. But I just can't see myself rolling maki or making a California roll. And I just can't see some former Russian IDF soldier standing 6 foot 6 inches tall behind a sushi counter, asking me in his heavy Eastern European Yiddish accent, "Hey, Arab dude, What the heck are you doing in this restaurant?" Well, that's probably what a Russian sushi chef would ask a Palestinian sitting at his sushi counter in Petach Tikva, I'm sure. (It's actually called a sushi bar, but that may give readers the incorrect impression that it involves drinking and alcohol.) My real question, though, is: Can investing in sushi chefs create peace? I know most Palestinians will say yes, but only if Israel freezes the settlements first. Hey. Everyone in the Middle East gets a few pre-conditions, even if they are working behind the sushi bar. Ray Hanania is an award-winning Palestinian American columnist. To find out more about Ray Hanania and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2012 BY CREATORS.COM
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