The first baby boomer signed up this week to collect Social Security.

Also, the government announced Social Security recipients would get a whopping 2.3 percent cost of living increase next year.

Hawaii here we come, perhaps by canoe.

While inflation roars along at almost 10 percent, the poor saps on Social Security get a 2.3 percent raise. Their money buys 7.5 percent less next year. So does ours. That's the government tax of price inflation.

John Williams of Shadow Government Statistics makes a living analyzing government economic reporting for people who need honest numbers.

Williams: "Inflation, as reported by the Consumer Price Index (CPI), is understated by roughly 7 percent per year. This is due to recent redefinitions of the series as well as to flawed methodologies, particularly adjustments to price measures for quality changes."

By "quality changes," Williams refers to "hedonics," a method by which the government hides inflation. For instance, if you replace your refrigerator with one that costs twice as much, the government may determine that the new one is four times better. Adjusting the price for that increase in quality, the new fridge costs only half as much as your old one. Therefore, the price of refrigerators went down.

Along with hedonics, we have the miracle of "substitution." For instance, if the price of lobster doubles one month, the government may decide that since lobster has got so expensive, lobster lovers should switch to sardines, the price of which has not risen. So, sardines are substituted for lobsters in the CPI.

The government rigs the numbers upon which Social Security increases are based. This keeps payments down.

Also, lower inflation numbers inflate measures of economic growth, allowing federales to trumpet America's strong economy, which has been in recession for 18 months.

According to Williams, if inflation were accurately calculated, Social Security payments would be double what they are now.

Sure hope you didn't trust the government to do you right.

Yet, Americans clamor for government health care. If we think they're cheap crooks with Social Security, wait till we get a dose of health care. Forget blood transfusions. We're bringing back the leeches.

Meanwhile, the president and Congress squabble over how many children to add to the federal health care dole.

Congress rejected our spendthrift president's plan to balloon that program by more than 20 percent. Not enough.

Social Security recipients get 2.3 percent and the president and Congress say nothing, but they want 20 percent or more for this other plan.

As evidence of their compassion for children, politicians dug up Tiny Tim and dragged him to the stage for televised pity sessions. They labeled anybody who opposed them as a Scrooge.

Bah, humbug!

How does it help the children if we do wrong by their grandparents on Social Security?

How does it help the children if we do wrong by their parents, if we pump up federal spending with still more borrowing and debt, thereby saddling those children's parents with higher taxes of inflation?

About the children?

Because the grandparents and parents will have less, the children will have less.

Everybody loses, especially the children. Not only do the federales ravage families today through price inflation, but they dump the debt on the very children they say they help. We pile our universe of debt on their young shoulders.

Not to worry. Uncle Scrooge has a safety net. If the children live to old age, they, too, can collect Social Security.

On its present course, there will be nothing left, but that's the price of government help. First, half of what it promised. By the end, nothing at all.

Phil Lucas is executive editor of The News Herald in Panama City, Fla. Contact him at [email protected]. To find out more about Lucas and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.