Grab The Tasers -- It's The Big OneIt is coming in the nick of time. In a move to ensure the staff's health, the newspaper may hold CPR classes between coffee and cigarette breaks. I suggested this after another week of news, during which I hurled insults and sunflower seeds at the office tube, screaming, "It's the BIG ONE, you MORONS!" We wanted some defibrillators, too. To cut costs, we settled for Tasers. Reporters just outside my office, sneering at me as I write, volunteered to keep them at their desks. Many Americans are cutting costs, such as those who have lost homes and those who have lost their shirts in the engineered busts of the real estate, construction and mortgage businesses, government-issue economic viruses of the killing kind. While American workers lose, the cause of their distress seeks to gain. The debased dollars of workers buy less, but schools demand more, counties seize more, states steal more, the feds print more. More, more, more money. It's for the children, it's for the troops, it's for motherhood and apple pie. God bless motherhood, God bless America and pass the apple pie. Report to your work stations to feed the government gargoyle, taxpayer blood trickling off its lips, oozing down its pointed chin, ravenous beyond sense or reason, soon to roast your children and consume your dreams, my little pretties. Sorry. I got carried away by reality. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking, drinking and sniffing glue. During the week, we learned that new home sales again plunged and had their biggest price drop in almost 37 years. A homebuilder CEO said the bottom of the market is nowhere in sight. About 2.5 million households with adjustable rate mortgages will have their rates reset higher over the next 18 months. This comes as foreclosures are already up more than 100 percent from last year. The week after the traitorous Federal Reserve cut interest rates, long-term bond rates went up, not down.
This foretells coming price inflation. And we thought prices were already high. Because of Fed action, the dollar plunged against currencies worldwide. This will raise the costs of imported goods, the gadgets and gizmos upon which we blow our borrowed dough. In another confirmation of raging prices, gold has remained above $700 for 16 consecutive days. This has never happened. Even at its all-time high in January 1980, it held above that level only five days running. Meanwhile, George Bush, commandant of the national death wish, both monetary and military, continued his saber rattling toward Iran, whose economic allies are Russia and China. The War on Terror, referred to by boosters as World War III, may look like a frat food fight next to World War IV. In fairness to Mr. Bush, all the statists running for president serve the same welfare/warfare master. The exception is Ron Paul, ridiculed as a kook, since he harkens to ideals most Americans neither recognize nor believe: the faith in freedom for which patriots bled and died, the principles of individual, God-given liberty that freed us from the government of grasping men. Grieving, a friend of mine is moving to Costa Rica and another to Argentina. They loved and lost in America. She broke their hearts. Good riddance, patriot traitors. Take your productivity and your capital. You wearied of the deadbeats who plunder others and betray our heritage on Election Day. Save us a place to where you go. Falling incomes. Rising prices. Ignorant pride and fatal greed. Liberty lost in laziness. The week ended just in time. A new day dawns this week next. But alas, we learned little from the last. Phil Lucas is executive editor of The News Herald in Panama City, Fla. Contact him at plucas@pcnh.com. To find out more about Lucas and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2007 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.
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