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Mona Charen
Mona Charen
14 Feb 2012
The Free Lunch Is Back

Leaving aside the blatant assault on religious liberty that the Obama administration's contraceptive mandate … Read More.

10 Feb 2012
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7 Feb 2012
Removing Planned Parenthood's Fig Leaf

Planned Parenthood would appear to have won this latest skirmish in the abortion wars. The Susan G. Komen for … Read More.

The Good Obama Can Do

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At the Early Reading First Project of the University of Illinois, they are hoping that Barack Obama will publicize the titles of the books he reads to his daughters. Such is the fascination with the new first family, the program's leaders tell the Chicago Tribune, that they can imagine children's books flying off the shelves, Oprah-like, with each Obama endorsement.

In fact, Barack Obama is in a position to affect far more than book purchases. He could have an effect on the culture of marriage in America.

The data are familiar. More than one-third of American children are born out of wedlock (two-thirds for black kids) and divorce plays havoc with children's security. Some 40 percent will spend some time in a cohabiting family arrangement before their 16th birthdays. Stepfamilies, as medieval fables suggested, are not as safe or secure for children as the nuclear family of two married parents. Rates of child abuse and neglect are far higher in stepfamilies than in nuclear families. Children born out of wedlock and children of divorce fare far worse on a range of social indicators than children raised in intact families. They have higher rates of school failure, drug use, depression, teen pregnancy, trouble with the law, violence, and poor health than do children raised by two parents. The really high-achieving kids in our society — like those who attend top colleges — are very disproportionately from intact families. Kay Hymowitz's book "Marriage and Caste in America" describes in detail the growing "marriage gap" in America. Upper middle and upper class women wait until marriage to start their families. The out of wedlock birth rate for college-educated women is only about 4 percent. On the other hand, poor women are having more and more children without husbands and they are also divorcing at much higher rates.

Thirty-six percent of female-headed families live below the poverty line. Only about 6 percent of married-couple families are poor — and many of those are recent immigrants, whose poverty may be temporary.

So Michelle and Barack Obama, just by modeling good parenting, have the capacity to set a great example.

A report from the Chicago Tribune suggests it has started already. "Seven-year-old Ava Childers will soon be responsible for making her own bed every day. … Ava's mother, Danita, got the idea after hearing that the soon-to-be first daughters ... are required to make their beds in the morning."

Obama has not shrunk from lecturing his audiences about parenting. Back in May, at a campaign stop in Gary, Ind., the future president gave his audience a pretty good harangue:

"Parents, if you don't parent, we can't improve our schools. You've got to parent. You've got to turn off the television set in your house once in a while. You've got to put the video game away once in a while. You should meet with the teacher and find out what the homework is and help that child with the homework. And if you don't know how to do the homework, don't be embarrassed, find someone to help you."

Obama is setting a fine example. And good for him. His father walked out on him. Rather than repeat that destructive pattern, he is doing the opposite. Is it a total stretch to imagine him lecturing young people about the need to get married before having babies?

But he can do more than that. He has said that he will continue some of the faith-based programs that President Bush initiated. He should also maintain and expand the marriage promotion policies that began under the current administration. The family, as Jack Kemp has always said, is the best department of Health and Human Services you can possibly devise. In hard times, this is more critical than ever. An increased child dependent tax credit (limited to married parents) would be one step toward the goal of strengthening families. But the overarching change must be a cultural one — an unapologetic, unflinching dedication to forming and maintaining married parent families as the best and most desirable norm for a healthy society.

If Obama is able to achieve that cultural shift, it would be the most important and far-reaching thing he does.

To find out more about Mona Charen and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.


Comments

3 Comments | Post Comment
Ma'am;... You must pull aside the blackout curtains in your mind and get a look at reality some time... It is economic forces primarily, and secondarily the forces of law that are the most destructive of the family... People need love, and God bless them; they want to breed... That means they have not lost their morality completely, which you could say if they gave up on life completely... But look here, or look anywhere around the world and you see it takes a certain level of wealth to support a family, and that mothers are easily abandoned to become slaves of the necessity to support their children... Who then teaches their children to be parents??? Who teaches their children anything??? Raising children is a labor intensive occupation best accomplished in complete and supportive communities... The economic pressure of wages pushed to their lowest levels, along with law that takes every authority from communities and families means every man is for himself... You justify high profits??? You justify the destruction of your society one family at a time... Sure, the rich suffer divorce... But they can afford it, and their loss is nothing compared to the tragedy the poor suffer daily from their failed relationships... You think a good example will help.. I think you are out of your mind... Capital is detroying our society, and every vestige of our morality.... For capital we go to war... For capital we see our our daughters sold on the demi-virge... We are taught that virtue, intimacy, beauty, and even love can be bought with money; but we learn not enough money only buys misery...Where is economic injustice not turned to sexual injustice??? It is your world.. Are you not now happy with your work????Thanks...Sweeney
Comment: #1
Posted by: James A, Sweeney
Tue Dec 16, 2008 6:36 AM
While I like the overall message of your article (I thought all election long the Obamas offered a wonderful example of a healthy marriage and positive parenting) I think some of your logic is off. Like all conservatives, you hold up marriage and family as the ultimate goal of society, while pointing to the poor as examples of "proof" that your theories are correct. What struck me the most in your article was the statistic that out of wedlock births occur at a rate of 4% among college-educated women. This seems to be presented as an argument that college-educated women wait until marriage to have sex, or that they are better at using contraception (certainly true.) I believe the true logic to that statistic is that college, or college-educated women are far more likely to abort an unwanted pregnancy than to choose single-parenthood. For a variety of cultural and economic reasons, poor women choose to have those babies. It is a truth quite opposite from what conservatives try to present. Social conservatives should celebrate all those poverty-stricken unwed mothers--they chose life! Your article seems to argue for elective abortion until one is in a stable personal and financial relationship! Having read a few of your other articles, I doubt this is was your intention. When I was a student at a top university, I knew many, many young women from well-to-do families with a lot to look forward to, and not much motivation to "choose life." I also knew many young women at my lower-middle class high school who choose to have babies before they could vote, or even drive. I agree, that yes, marriage/family is a much better place to raise children, but we need to face reality and deal with the societal problems we have. We cannot "wish" every child two loving married parents.
Comment: #2
Posted by: chimama1
Tue Dec 16, 2008 11:27 AM
As a single mother to a 13 year old boy, Mona, your article was just too much to ignore. I had my son when I was 22 years old. I was raised in a very religious home and did not choose to have an abortion. Everyday my son comes home from his elite high school in Falls Church (where everyone comes from two parent households!) describing the teenage smokers on the corner near his school, the kid who just had a brother sent off to Utah to treat a nagging drug habit and the discussions on Facebook between 14 year olds planning to have sex before the end of the school year. Many of these two parent households ignore their children and let "facilities," nannies and others deal with actually raising their kids. The cracks in this false foundation is evidenced in the drug use, early premarital sex and low self esteem in their children. Nothing to envy. Mona, I am curious, what would you have done in my place? Should I have aborted my child, shed a tear for the "fetus" and then moved on? I don't understand... life is complicated and you make choices. I think many women have abortions not because they can't do it on their own, but more because they don't want to be judged by people like you! And trust me, women get pregnant, even educated, established women. I know because they tell me in an almost confessional way. I often wonder how judgemental individuals would respond if they did not have the security of wealth and family to stand behind and had to deal with the challenges life presents. Katie
Comment: #3
Posted by: Katie
Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:20 AM
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