Welfare For Politicians -- Let's Have Reform On That

BERKELEY, Calif. — OK, so it wasn't the Bob Bullock Memorial Award (given each session to the first member of the Texas Lege charged with drunken driving, in honor of our lite gov's long-gone drinking days), but there was an interesting legislative arrest last week. State Sen. Drew Nixon got himself busted on charges of soliciting a prostitute who turned out to be an undercover cop.

Scholars will recall that ere he was ever elected, Nixon was found by the Dallas police in the company of three prostitutes — but, he explained, he was only asking for directions. I find this an entirely credible defense; those who have observed Nixon in the Senate know that he frequently seems completely lost.

On the other hand, there are days when Nixon looks positively bright compared with some of the rest of folks in politics. My favorite current example is U.S. Sen. Fred Thompson of Tennessee, now leading the Republican charge to investigate sleazy campaign financing. Reminds me of the scene in "Blazing Saddles" where the guy puts a gun to his own head and threatens to off himself if the guys who are trying to kill him don't drop their guns.

Suppose Thompson does a good job on this investigation and exposes the entire system of legalized bribery we politely call campaign financing:

(a) The cynicism about and disgust with our political system will soar to new heights, making it ever more likely that we will turn away from both political parties and elect someone like Ross Perot.

(b) Demands for reform will mount, but Thompson is one of exactly two Republicans in the entire Senate — the other being the estimable John McCain — who actually favor campaign finance reform. Republicans have a 2-to-1 fund-raising edge over Democrats under the current system and are not about to throw it away. Having raised the issue to new visibility, the Republicans will then have to kill it, making their electoral lives rather more difficult.

(c) Although having Thompson — a former lobbyist for major corporations and the Teamsters union pension fund — head this investigation is not quite as egregious as putting Sen. Al D'Amato in charge of an ethics investigation, it ain't that far, either. According to The Wall Street Journal, Thompson himself has profited from hot initial public stock offerings made available to him through a politically friendly brokerage firm in Tennessee.

In addition, he has a long association with Farhad Azima, a Kansas City, Mo., businessman who was a guest at the same White House coffees we are now told were extremely sinister.

David Rogers of the Journal noted: "Lawmakers know their true foe is the same home-grown, corrupting, fund-raising system of which they are part. Like Pogo, they have met the enemy and it is themselves."

Meanwhile, Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott was spending three days at a luxurious, ocean-front Palm Beach resort mingling and schmoozing with fat-cat donors to the Republican Party who have given at least $175,000 over four years. (Am I the only one who has noticed that Lott looks exactly like a Ford dealer? Nothing against Ford dealers, an altogether outstanding bunch, but how come they all look like Lott?) The majority leader said the big donors should allowed to give even more because "it's the American way."

Good grief, at least President Clinton has enough sense to denounce the system while he plays it for all it's worth. Giving good sound bite, Lott added: "I support people being involved in the political process. We're not for food stamps for politicians; we don't think public financing of campaigns is a good idea." And there he stood, surrounded by oilmen, insurance reps, pharmaceutical manufacturers, bankers, etc., etc.

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts — "We're not for food stamps for politicians"??? We already HAVE public financing of presidential campaigns, and this whole current furor is over the intrusion of private financing into that system. Where is this man's head?

I am for public financing of ALL campaigns, and if there were a politician in Washington with half a brain, he or she would be jumping to the head of that parade right now. I'll tell you how you sell it in a New York minute: combine public financing with election reform. No paid political advertising, period. Time and space in the news media to be provided gratis by the media. If you take the cost of television out of campaigning, the public could finance the whole deal at pennies per person through the income tax. Frequent candidate debates during a limited time span, as in the British model.

And here's how you score political points off it. "My opponent is afraid to let our ideas and proposals contest on a level playing field. He knows perfectly well that without the advantage of special-interest money, he could never sell his pernicious notions to the American public. I don't want to go to luxurious resorts in Florida to meet my campaign contributors; I want to go to Luby's and Taco Bell and the Chat-'n'-Chew Cafe."

Sheesh, where's a demagogue when you need one?

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Molly Ivins is a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

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