Molly Ivins November 5

AUSTIN — Unfortunate developments are unfolding here in the Final Days. You will notice one odd effect of the fact that President Clinton took the high road (a strategy dictated by the fact that he was ahead in the polls) and that BobDole took the low road (a strategy dictated by the fact that he was behind in the polls): While Clinton blathered on about his bridge to the 21st century, BobDole was claiming that Democrats were rushing to get criminal aliens registered to vote. The net result is that we now think more of Dole and less of Clinton. If they'd both taken the low road, we'd be left thinking they were both scum and that Ross Perot isn't that crazy.

When Clinton, who has actually supported campaign-finance reform for years, stood up and spoke in favor of campaign-finance reform, the media was stunned by his chutzpah. Da noive of da guy, we said, since Clinton is hip-deep in a brouhaha about possibly illegal campaign contributions.

Actually, it was much weirder to watch BobDole advocate campaign-finance reform. That's the BobDole who was chairman of the Republican National Committee during Watergate, when millions of dollars in cash slopped around like bilge water. And that's the same BobDole who has been on the tobacco lobby's teat for years, not to mention that of Archer Daniel Midlands and the Gallo brothers. BobDole himself has been getting contributions from foreigners. BobDole filibustered against campaign-finance reform five times.

Clinton's mistake on campaign-finance reform was to let then-Speaker Tom Foley and the congressional Democrats talk him out of pushing it. Meanwhile, the media continued to distinguish themselves in the hypocrisy runoffs. At precisely the same time we were all sympathizing with Richard Jewell, the poor schnerk who became a suspect in the pipe-bomb explosion at the Olympics last summer, we were also howling for the head of John Huong, the conduit for Clinton's Indonesian money. Why is John Huong hiding? How dare the Democratic National Committee not tell us where he is! We remorsefully quoted Jewell (remorse abetted by the prospect of the mother of all libel suits) on how his life had been ruined by the media, how they stalked him night and day, how he felt like a hunted animal. Gee, why didn't Huong volunteer for the same charming treatment?

Meanwhile, Our Compatriot Ross Perot was posing as the simon-pure knight in all this — Perot, who has given campaign contributions in return for favors for years, who went to Massachusetts to endorse PAC-man William Weld and who is rich enough to have bought himself a half hour of prime-time television on Election Eve on both NBC and CBS and a full hour on ABC in the most astonishing media buy in history.

What we have here, friends and neighbors, is every single solid reason for major campaign-finance reform all rolled up into one charming election.

Voters in California, Colorado, Nevada and Arkansas had a chance to show politicians just how serious people are about demanding campaign reform with ballot initiatives that set campaign spending limits and contribution limits. Maine has publicly financed campaigns on the ballot.

The pols are still talking halfway reforms: Ban soft money, ban political action committees. Clinton also endorsed free television time for congressional candidates if they observe spending limits.

Look, if we're going to reform campaign financing, let's go ahead and do it right, whole-hog, the big schmear. Let's go to a system of publicly financed campaigns. We also need to get rid of television spot ads and make TV time available for debates and discussions.

The secret to complete campaign-finance reform is already right there on the IRS form you have to fill out every year. Just check that one little box on the form — it now sets aside $3 of the taxes you owe for presidential campaigns, and only 13 percent of Americans now check it. We could raise that $3 limit, do a public education campaign about how the money will be used and include all federal officials in the pot. Note that this would almost completely defeat the power of lobbyists in politics and would overcome the perpetual advantage of incumbents, so we wouldn't need term limits. We'd get both a higher turnover in office and pols who are not in hock to special interests.

Late-breaking Low Fliers: On Sunday, the Christian Coalition was out dumping scuzz-balls on assorted candidates. State Sen. Judith Zaffarini of Laredo, Texas, who is pro-life, got hit with a late-term-abortion pamphlet that is simply nauseating. Zaffarini, who has been the target of misinformed pro-lifers before, said this one was partly her fault. Despite her record, the Christian Coalition went on the basis of a questionnaire that had a double negative in one question, so she answered it incorrectly. State Rep. Allen Hightower, a straight arrow if ever there was one, got hit with a pamphlet from the Republican Party showing two men on the cover, nude from the waste up and wrapped in a flag from the waist down. The inside showed two men in their mid-20s hugging.

Meanwhile, Nick Lampson, who is running against the gazooney Rep. Steve Stockman, got blasted with a load of late money coming into the race from R's who had given up on Dole. Several other Texas Democratic candidates, including John Pouland in Dallas and Lefty Morris in Victoria, had the same experience. Unfortunately, Lampson's late hit was combined with a monumentally inept campaign.

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Molly Ivins is a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

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