Molly Ivins November 27

AUSTIN — In this national time of thanksgiving, your whiny pessimist ("But this glass is half empty") might think there are few grounds for gratitude in our political life. Even I, a notorious optimist, find it so embarrassing to confess in public these days that I actually like politicians that I'm considering taking up some more socially acceptable perversion. Perhaps interspecies dating.

But the wonderful thing about American politics is that it teaches us that great life lesson: Things may be bad, but we can always be grateful that they aren't worse. Things in politics have a habit of getting worse, so this makes all the old grumps look like perfect fools — there it was, the good old days, and all they could do was whine and moan. So, looking on the bright side, we can find any number of blessings for which to give thanks:

— Sen. Strom Thurmond will not run for re-election.

— Even the charming combination of President Bill Clinton, House Speaker Newt Gingrich and Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott couldn't get fast-track legislation for more NAFTAs through Congress. The Democratic wing of the Democratic Party has some life in it after all.

— Newt continues to be almost as popular as fire ants.

— Not since the Republicans decided that Sen. Al D'Amato was the perfect person to investigate Clinton's ethics have we seen as shrewd a stroke as putting Rep. Dan Burton, the man accused of trying to shake down a lobbyist for Pakistan, in charge of investigating Clinton's fund-raising.

— The city of Dallas is planning to help that pore li'l Ross Perot Jr. build a new stadium.

— The $50 billion giveaway to the tobacco companies that Newt and Trent snuck into the budget bill did not survive public examination.

— University of Texas at Austin's Professor Lino Graglia was not named to head the civil-rights division of the Justice Department.

— We got to watch Sen.

Don Nickles of Oklahoma on the Thompson committee pretending to be shocked by Democratic fund-raising.

— Rep. Henry B. Gonzalez of San Antonio served in Congress for 36 years, bringing honor to Texas and all Mexican-Americans.

— Crime is down.

— Texas has tripled its prison space since 1992.

— Bill Gates is being sued on accusations of anti-trust violations by the Justice Department.

— Kenneth Starr continues to investigate Whitewater, 20 years after the fact. This gives him a job that prevents him from teaching at a law school, where he might do real damage to innocent young minds.

— Rupert Murdoch was named Humanitarian of the Year by the United Jewish Appeal. The award was presented by Henry Kissinger.

— Congress chose to occupy itself with such flaming issues as an unconstitutional amendment to ban flag-burning instead of repealing the progressive income tax.

— The Republicans did not shut down the federal government this year.

— Paula Jones will give us the most mind-boggling trial of the century, providing material without end for late-night comedians.

— The Texas Legislature will not meet again until 1999.

And, in general, we have peace, of a sort, and prosperity, of a sort, and since we know it could be worse, let us enjoy a round of heartfelt thanks for our many blessings. I am headed out to Texas' Big Bend, where deer, wild turkeys, beaver, armadillos, great blue herons, mountain lions and hilarious people all frolic under endless blue skies framed by grand vistas and then the brightest stars anywhere. And so I give thanks for all that, and for the best readers any writer ever had.

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Molly Ivins is a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

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