Molly Ivins November 21

AUSTIN — Don't you think Kato Kaelin should marry Michael Jackson and raise the child with him? Just a passing romantic thought on some of the stranger manifestations of our culture.

Speaking of offbeat ideas, what to our wondering eyes should appear but a suggestion from some unhappy right-wingers (George Will, Katie O'Beirne) that House Speaker Newt Gingrich should step down and be replaced by — tah-dah! — Rep. Henry Hyde of Illinois? Mirabile dictu! Quel stroke of political genius. As Will noted, Mr. Hyde has a splendid mane of white hair and looks the way a congressman should. And if that's not reason enough to make him speaker of the House, I don't know what is.

Hyde is also the leader of the anti-abortion forces in Congress, so this would also be a dandy way to solve the Republican Party's gender gap. Just what women want in a leadership position: The man who has made it almost impossible for poor women to get an abortion. The movelet to replace Gingrich was apparently inspired by the speaker's ethical problems, which may yet come to embarrass the Republican Party.

In the more-than-passing-odd way of Washington's conventional wisdom, Hyde is firmly established as a fellow of great rectitude and principle. The fact that he has been facing a lawsuit on accusations of gross negligence in connection with the failure of an Illinois S&L for the past three years seems to have made no impact on the CW. In fact, I am almost certain that it has never been so much as mentioned in any major newspaper. The only reason I know about it is because Chicago newsman Tim Anderson has made something of a cause of the case.

In fact, should an alert student of media bias want a delicious topic for a dissertation, a comparison of the coverage given President Clinton's remote connection with Madison Guaranty (an S&L started by a former business partner five years after Clinton had any dealings with him) and Henry Hyde's connection with the more expensive failure of the Clyde Federal Savings Association, of which he was a board member, would be quite instructive. As late as 1990, Hyde sponsored a bill to relax capital standards for S&Ls. Hyde and his fellow directors were sued on grounds of gross negligence by the Resolution Trust Corp. in 1993, following the 1990 collapse of Clyde Federal at a cost to the taxpayers of $67 million.

Hyde claimed that as an outside director, he bore no responsibility, although the minutes of board meetings showed that he directly participated in many of the decisions that regulators later criticized.

He had been invited to sit on the Clyde Federal board because of his expertise as a former member of the House Banking Committee.

In an interesting coincidence of timing, on Tuesday, the government settled the lawsuit against the directors of Clyde Federal for $850,000. The fine, to be paid to the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp., is less than 5 percent of the $17.2 million the government originally sued for. According to Tim Anderson, there is no other case in which the government has invested three years and settled for such a small percentage of the total damage. Furthermore, the fine is levied against the directors — but Hyde says he isn't going to pay. Anderson raises the question of whether the other directors' covering Hyde's share of the fine must be reported as a gift.

An article in the Nov. 18 issue of The New Yorker by Ken Auletta describes an odd habit of the media, which are reporting from a certain paradigm. For example, the media had it firmly in mind that Bob Dole is a fellow of principle, so when Dole shifted course and ran on a 15 percent tax cut, in direct opposition to his long-held position on a balanced budget, the media continued to report on him as a fellow of fixed principles. Clinton, on the other hand, long-christened Slick Willie, was criticized for every shift in position, whether it stemmed from a lack of principle or changing realities in the world or just a changed political scene.

I recently received a rather typical letter from an Irate Reader: "Maybe you don't understand, want to see, or care what a liar and cheat Bill Clinton has made the President of the United States into. The things that he has done and then denied. The things that he has said and then denied. Whatever happens in the next few years of this maniac's Presidency, maybe you and the Liberal Leftists will feel grandiose over leaving this Country in a real mess. The one thing Newt has done is stirred up the public and the Moderate Democrats enough that with any luck, the Slickster and his Wife will be indicted and with a real stroke of luck impeached from office."

Actually, I have considered that. However, writing about Alger Hiss the other day reminded me of the dangers of certitude based on shaky evidence. It would be useful if those who are so sure that they know Bill Clinton is a liar and a cheat were to read "Fools for Scandal" by Gene Lyons and then ask themselves just what the evidence really is.

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