Molly Ivins May 15

 AUSTIN -- At a gala fund-raising dinner in Washington on Monday night, the Republican Party piled up $11.3 million for next year's elections. The only thing different about the black-tie shindig is that the R's have a new bar for their biggest donors: Now you have to raise or give $250,000 to be recognized as "co-chairman" of the Republican Party. The D's are still stuck at a measly $200,000 for their top echelon. Pikers.

So what difference does this make to you? It's been years since anyone could lay a remotely reasonable claim that only the Republicans are the party of Big Money. Big Money owns both our political parties. The question that affects us all is: What do they get for their money? The answer can be found in a close reading of any decent daily. Or, for a handy short course, try "The 1997 People's Annual Report: The Human Toll of Corporate Influence Peddling," put out by INFACT. INFACT is a Boston-based 20-year-old watchdog group that collects information on corporate accountability and the lack thereof.

This year's report is particularly chilling. It focuses particularly on tobacco, including RJR and Philip Morris. The Columbia/HCA health-care system, Dow Chemical and WMX Technologies are also examined. Just try these numbers from INFACT's "Corporate Imbalance Sheet" for Philip Morris, for example:

-- $3.9 million -- Amount of PAC money and soft money contributed in the 1995-96 federal election cycle.

-- 90 -- The number of registered federal lobbyists in 1997.

-- 150 -- The number of registered lobbyists in 44 states in 1996.

-- $2 million -- The amount contributed to the Republican Host Committee in San Diego for the Republican National Convention.

-- $135,151 -- The amount Rep. Tom Bliley, chairman of the House Commerce Committee, received in PAC contributions from 1985 to 1996. Said Bliley: "I don't think we need any more legislation regulating tobacco."

-- $12.4 million -- The amount spent lobbying at the federal level in the first six months of 1996.

-- 60 percent -- Marlboro's share of the U.S. youth market.

-- 3:1 -- The ratio of cigarette advertising's effect on kids to its effect on adults.

-- $96 million -- Philip Morris' U.S. advertising budget for Marlboro cigarettes.

-- $112 million -- Philip Morris' operating profit from illegal sales to American teen-agers in 1995.

-- $5.4 billion -- Philip Morris' operating profit in 1995 (fourth in the Fortune 500).

-- 460,000 -- The number of new teen smokers whom Philip Morris addicts each year, 153,000 of whom will die from tobacco-related illness.

-- $23 billion -- The share of U.S.

health-care costs that Philip Morris should pay annually to treat tobacco-related illnesses (based on market share).

But the sins of the tobacco industry are an old story by now, so let's try some more exciting corporate vistas. Here's the poop on Columbia/HCA:

— $216,000 — The amount of PAC money contributed in Florida in 1994, making it Florida's largest PAC.

— 24 — The number of lobbyists employed to repeal 1992 Florida state law requiring the corporation to disclose its physician-investors.

— $19.9 billion — Columbia/HCA's revenue in 1996.

— 18 — The number of hospitals closed since 1994.

— 2,000 — The number of layoffs and positions eliminated since 1994.

— $70,000 — The amount paid in fines for patient "dumping" violations in Florida (one of the highest ever paid by a hospital).

— $116 million — The amount paid in tax breaks over 10 years for Columbia/HCA to move its headquarters from Kentucky to Tennessee.

— Three — The number of days' notice that Columbia/HCA gave the town of Destin, Fla., before closing its hospital.

And so on. The annual report includes lots of instructive narratives on how these corporations maneuver around the law as well as how they pay to get it changed. But I think my favorite part is the quotes from the corporate guys themselves:

"As you can see by the size of the numbers, people have come to the conclusion that this is the American way, the way of having your voice heard, and so be it. The business community hates to spend money on anything it doesn't have to, and it doesn't. Soft money is the entry vehicle to be heard." — Richard Mahoney, former chairman of Monsanto.

"The business of politics consists of a series of unsentimental transactions between those who need votes and those who have money ... a world where every quid has its quo." — Don Tyson, senior chairman of the board, Tyson Foods Inc.

"Do we have an obligation to provide health care for everybody? Where do we draw the line: Is any fast-food restaurant obligated to feed everyone who shows up?" — Rick Scott, CEO, Columbia/HCA Healthcare Corp. (I especially like that quote, given Columbia's history of buying and then closing nonprofit hospitals, thus creating monopolies.)

You can write INFACT at 256 Hanover St., Boston, Mass. 02113.

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Molly Ivins is a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

COPYRIGHT 1997 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.