Molly Ivins June 3

AUSTIN, Texas — They are outta here! The 76th session of the Texas Lege has disbanded, allowing many a village to reclaim its idiot. Among the festive results: You citizens will now be eating $9 billion worth of bad debt on the two nuclear plants that our utility companies were stupid enough to build. But that's OK, because your governor got you a $2 billion tax break!

We did not come out ahead.

But before we wade into the gory details, let us consider The Big Picture.

Numero Uno: If George Dubya Bush gets elected president, first thing we do is impeach him for leaving us stuck with Rick Perry as governor. Talk about an antisocial act.

Brother Perry has not had a brilliant session. In fairness to the Lite Guv, orchestrating the 31 monster egos in the Texas Senate is no stroll in the park, and this was his first session on the job. But we are looking at a fairly flat learning curve with this one.

The Houdini Award for Unbelievable Flexibility goes to Comptroller Carole Keeton Rylander, keeper of accounts. The state's top CPA had the available revenues for the next biennium fluctuating like a roller coaster ride. First, they were up; then, they were down, up, down, up, down; and finally, in a triumphant flourish, she located $900 million that she had not previously noticed just in time to settle the final logjam.

In fairness to Rylander, this is not the first time we have seen a comptroller play political games with the numbers; Bob Bullock was no slouch at the sport in his day.

But unlike poor Perry, Rylander not only learned the game — she played it to an extent that no one had ever seen before, a truly stunning political performance. The only trouble is, no one has any idea how much money we actually have, and this bodes ill for the future, since the Lege passed several balloon tax cuts that will cost the state treasury far, far more in "out years," as they say, than they do on paper for this biennium.

For good news, we have a nifty package for the public schools, no thanks to the Education Governor. For a change, schools got almost as large an increase as highways: 25.6 percent for highways, 17 for schools.

All right, I take it back — that's not almost as much. But at least highways didn't get twice as much; we're making progress.

Much credit to Rep. Paul Sadler of Henderson, chair of the House Education Committee.

Henderson is the same guy who almost pulled off a major tax reform and school spending increase last session. This time, he got us statewide kindergarten; a lot more Head Start slots (we have never signed up anywhere near the number of kids who are actually eligible for Head Start); a fairer state aid formula between rich and poor districts (we'd like to thank the much-abused federal courts for their "interference" on this subject); and the aforementioned teacher pay raise — $3,000 across the board, bless them all. You go, Sadler.

For outstanding individual performance:

The Didi Snavely Award, after the motto of Didi's Used Weapons, goes to Sen. Florence Shapiro and her State Affairs Committee: "If We Can't Kill It, It's Immortal."

Noble Effort: to Rep. Senfronia Thompson and Sen. Rodney Ellis, sponsors of the James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes bill, which fell victim to the governor's presidential ambitions. Ellis is always a fiery combatant, but Thompson in particular rose to an almost majestic level as she sought justice for perennial victims. Dr. King would have been proud.

Compassionate Conservatism in Action: to the entire ensemble, led by the governor, for making compassion for the oil industry their No. 1 priority. That was the tax cut benefiting only those with teeny-tiny, itty-bitty oil wells — most of which, it turns out, belong to Exxon.

Lobbyists We Love: Tom "Smitty" Smith of Public Citizen, the last of the consumer advocates, an interesting example of why the Texas Lege is a better place than Congress: In Texas, who you are still matters. If you stick around for a long time, provide lots of solid information and always tell the truth, you can earn real clout, even if you don't have a potful of campaign contributions to give away.

Best Performance on a Single Bill: to Jim Marston and the Electric Rangers, with the Environmental Defense Fund, for making utilities deregulation less horrible than it otherwise would have been. Rep. Steve Wolens of Dallas, utility infielder in a lot of ways, shares that honor. But make no mistake, big money won big on uts de-reg.

All-Round: Rep. Debra Danburg of Houston was not the face-player on any big bills this session, but she carried, as she often does, a large load of good stuff, shepherded much of it through, helped others with their loads and stopped some bad stuff, too. She's good on offense, good on defense and knows how to cut deals.

Hero: Speaker Pete Laney, shrewd, steady, unflappable and genuinely decent. Also living proof that city slickers and Harvard grads can learn an awful lot from a Hale Center cotton farmer.

Molly Ivins is a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. To find out more about Molly Ivins and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.

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