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Mark Levy
Dear Mark
26 May 2012
Give Me the Commencement Microphone

Good day, graduates. Most commencement speakers use their time waxing nostalgically in glorious platitudes … Read More.

19 May 2012
Arlen's Cannibals, Erectile Dysfunction and Nebraska Victory

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12 May 2012
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Dear Readers: The news has been filled with so many noteworthy items lately that I thought I would perform a … Read More.

Skins in the Game, Potato Skins and Foreskins

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Dear Mark: Donald Trump is out. Mike Huckabee is out. And Newt Gingrich is now officially a candidate for the presidency. Newt has stumbled out of the gate with conservatives because of some of the things he said on "Meet the Press" last Sunday. Does Newt have a realistic chance to win the Republican nomination? — Race Fan in Fargo

Dear Race: Newt is a brilliant scholar, gifted political strategist and deep thinker, which is why I am mystified as to what the heck happened to his mouth on Sunday. At one time, I would have considered him a frontrunner — but now I believe it will take a miracle for the former speaker of the House to win the nomination.

Not only did Newt put both feet into his mouth, he then proceeded to shoot himself in each loafer. Gingrich violated Ronald Reagan's "11th Commandment," which states, "Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican." Newt did not directly mention Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan during the interview, but the negative inference about Ryan's plan to save Medicare was enough for Newt's horse to throw a shoe.

Gingrich has tried to remount by explaining that he would vote for Ryan's budget plan, but that gesture may be too little, too late. Today's rank-and-file Republican primary voter has little patience for even a hint of political double-speak, and that includes a popular figure like Newt.

Dear Mark: The food police are at it again. The U.S. Department of Agriculture is trying to eliminate potatoes from school lunchrooms because of concerns of childhood obesity and diabetes. As if her husband isn't meddling enough in our business, Michelle Obama is making the nanny state we live in even nannier.

I know you've been asked this question a thousand times before, but don't the bureaucrats in Washington have anything better to do than to micromanage our children? — Save the Spud in Spokane

Dear Save: Most bureaucrats create ridiculous rules and regulations for two reasons: job security and to truly run other people's lives. The war on "white potatoes" covers both. Combine this half-baked idea with the recent attacks on McDonald's and other fast-food eateries, and the food police have been promoted to food Nazis.

According to an article in The Wall Street Journal, "Under the USDA proposal, school cafeterias would have to limit starchy vegetables such as potatoes, corn, peas and lima beans to a total of one cup per week for lunch." That pretty much leaves turnips, carrots, Brussels sprouts and hay for the kiddos to munch on. I can't wait to see how much wasted food is dumped into the cafeteria trashcans.

I have news for the first couple: Kids are not becoming obese because of the meals they consume at public schools. Kids are becoming obese because they sit on their butts all day playing video games while their parents allow them to eat crap. Maybe Mr. and Mrs. Potatohead are big donors to the Obamas.

Dear Mark: As if things couldn't get any wackier in San Francisco, a proposal to ban circumcision in the city limits has made it to the November ballot. Is it any wonder California is so screwed up? — Glad to be an Okie from Muskogee

Dear Okie: The hypocrisy is that San Franciscans seem so concerned about the health of a young boy's genitals but will gladly allow a woman to kill an unborn baby while it's still in her womb.

Dear Mark is a public platform for your enrichment and entertainment. E-mail your questions to marklevy92@aol.com. To find out more about Mark Levy, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.

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Comments

1 Comments | Post Comment
The hypocrisy is that right wing members of the GOP seem so concerned about the health of a fetus up until it is born, but then they suddenly lose interest.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Mark
Sat May 21, 2011 7:59 PM
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