Obama's Speech, Ships and Nudity

Dear Mark: I watched President Obama's Oval Office speech concerning the oil spill on Tuesday night and wanted to get an expert opinion. I couldn't find any, so I'm e-mailing you, instead. I felt like our president was specific and calmed the American people. I'm sure you hated it, you conservative moron. — Obama Man in Missouri

Dear Man: Thanks for your confidence. My thoughts on the president's speech are as follows: "It was a great speech if you were on another planet for the last 57 days." Oh, wait, liberal MSNBC host Keith Olbermann said that. How about: "Ludicrous that he keeps saying Secretary of Energy Chu has a Nobel Prize. I'll barf if he does it one more time." Nope that was Chris Matthews, another liberal MSNBC show host.

OK, here we go: "Obama should be acting like a commander in chief." Rats, those words belong to liberal Newsweek columnist Howard Fineman.

"I don't sense executive command." Dang it, Chris Matthews again.

My opinion of President Obama's speech is: "For the umpteenth time since the Gulf of Mexico oil spill began, an anxious nation was informed that Energy Secretary Steven Chu has a Nobel Prize. Obama's speech pretty much went downhill from there." No, no, no, that was liberal Washington Post columnist Eugene Robinson.

As presidential advisor Rahm Emanuel famously said, "You never let a crisis go to waste." President Obama took this statement to heart in his Oval Office address, as he used the prime-time opportunity to shamelessly promote his cap-and-trade legislation. His speech was exactly what I expected. Blame BP, blame George W. Bush, set up commissions and tell a few oil industry lies.

Meanwhile, the oil still flows and the administration looks more disorganized than ever.

Dear Mark: Our Gulf Coast is quickly becoming a mess, and President Obama promised that government will do everything possible to clean it up. But is it true that the administration has actually refused the help of foreign countries in cleaning up the oil spill? — Can't Be True in Tulsa

Dear Can't Be: If reports in The Washington Post as well as other media outlets are accurate, then the Obama administration has indeed refused foreign help in the clean-up effort. Numerous European countries, Japan and even Persian Gulf countries have offered a variety of services, including ships capable of sucking up thousands of gallons of oil an hour.

The major obstacle appears to be the Jones Act, a piece of legislation from the 1920s that requires ships working in the United States to be manned and built by Americans. In other words, ships in our waters must be union-made. President Bush showed true leadership and waived the act during the Hurricane Katrina aftermath to speed up relief aid. Many pundits are speculating that President Obama is so beholden to labor unions that he is willing to let the Gulf Coast suffer in order to protect the union label.

Dear Mark: Naked bicycle riders were protesting oil this week in Toronto, New York and other major cities across the world. I don't mind peaceful protests, but being lewd in public is wrong and clouds the message. Do you think whacky protests are effective? — Prude Pam in Polk

Dear Prude: I don't know about the effectiveness, but as an avid cyclist myself, all I can say is eeewwwwww! I hope they toweled off the seats ... the bike seats, that is.

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