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Marc Dion
Marc Dion
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Mitt Romney's Wife Doesn't Understand Me


I tell my wife, "I have binders full of women," she's gonna say two things.

"What do you mean 'binders full,'" she's going to say. "You mean porn? Where is it? In the basement? Pig!"

Then she's gonna say: "You got porn in binders? You can look at porn on the Internet. For free. No binders. Stupid pig!"

This is why I will never run for political office. My wife, a reporter at the same paper where I work, is my professional equal, which means she can say all kinds of stuff to me. Mean stuff, too. Worst of all, and this makes us communists, we work for a union newspaper, so we make exactly the same amount of money, based on our years with the paper.

I told you we were communists.

Perhaps because she is responsible for paying half the mortgage, my wife is not an endlessly supportive, adoring dumbass who spends her free time either in church or teaching horses to dance. Maybe she'd like to spend her life that way, but we don't have enough money.

And it's not like that's a new thing in our family, women working. My mother-in-law is a retired factory worker. My mother worked in banks and as a dental assistant. My wife's and my grandmothers worked in cotton mills. For the women who came before me, work was not a matter of "liberation," it was a matter of eating regularly. Sadly, I am such a poor provider that my wife has to work, like I have to work.

My wife is working the night shift tonight. It wasn't her choice, either. Every two weeks, the city editor of our paper posts a schedule on the wall near his desk. You work what the schedule says you work, and if your horse gets lonely while you're at work, then the horse has to cry himself to sleep. You work for $45,000 a year, sometimes you gotta disappoint your horse.

If the paper we work goes under, we might have to eat our horse, or in our case, our cat, since we don't have a horse

Sometimes, work makes you disappoint your kids. Or your mother in the nursing home.

Being a working person means you have to disappoint people all the time, mostly because you have to be at work or you're tired from work or because you're out of work and you don't have the money to buy your kid a birthday present. Or maybe you work all the time, and you still don't have enough money.

That's what equal pay for equal work is about — needing money and working for it and wanting to be paid every nickel you earn because you need every nickel you earn.

Not being paid what you're worth is not like being too poor to provide sufficient dance training for your horse. If your dancing horse is insufficiently trained, then he doesn't win the blue ribbon, and you feel sad. If you don't make enough money to pay the rent, you sleep under an overpass and your clothes start to smell like garbage. That's a big difference right there.

And God (maybe I'm not such a communist) bless Ann Romney for having married a guy who bought her out of every variety of work-related trouble. It's more than my grandmother or my mother or my wife ever got.

Yeah. Mitt Romney's wife doesn't understand me.

See, my wife works, and we need — really need — the money she makes.

Which, among those of us who do not own dancing horses, is not uncommon.

If I get up at a party and say something stupid about equal pay for equal work, my wife gets to say, "How'd you like it if I didn't make the money I make?"

Which is not adoring or supportive, but which is proud and free.

To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit You can buy Dion's collection of his Creators Syndicate columns, "Between Wealth and Welfare: A Liberal Curmudgeon in America" on, Nook and itunes.



19 Comments | Post Comment
Concerns of the electorate this season:

Economy: still tanked
Employment: 23 million looking for work
Benghazi: 4 dead
Energy: Little old ladies prepared to freeze this winter
Health care: Insurance up $2,3000 a year, expected to go higher before 2014
Fast and Furious: Plenty dead, not a Bush program
Afghan war: Still will kill
National debt @2:01 today: $16,188,369,900,836.00, that is $51,456.00 per citizen, or $141,132.00 per taxpayer, a taxpayer being someone with skin in the game.

Contraceptives: Available everywhere you look, cheap too.
Abortions per year in the U.S.A.: 1.21 million, hardly a number suggestive of a restrictive environment
Years Bush has been out of office: Just under 4
State of "civil discourse": Romney's wife is a dumba** (a tacit bi** follows) is civil enough if you are a liberal

Somewhere, waaaaayyyyyyy down this list, the "binders" comment may appear, but only on the lists of the terribly idiotic or terribly neurotic. Which one is Dion today?

Go ahead and hang your electoral hat on creating hate for Romney. Hate is all the progressives have on their plate. You are, after all, what you eat.

Maybe Dion's wife isn't adoring because he is such a mean dumba**.

Comment: #1
Posted by: Tom
Fri Oct 19, 2012 11:26 AM
" wife is not an endlessly supportive, adoring dumbass who spends her free time either in church or teaching horses to dance."

That's what Mr. Liberal REALLY thinks of women.

Good choice of words there, Marc the professional writer. Edifying. Revealing, too.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Tom
Fri Oct 19, 2012 11:43 AM
I forgot!

Number of words in a Sweeney post: 1,000 minimum
Number of clear thoughts expressed per 1,000: One eighth

Small stuff, but still well above the "binders" comment.

" wife is not an endlessly supportive, adoring dumbass who spends her free time either in church or teaching horses to dance." -why not, it was still on my clipboard and drives home the liberal view of women.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Tom
Fri Oct 19, 2012 11:48 AM
Tom, Tom, Tom...
In 22 minutes, you post three replies to the article about Annie. Do you have such a boring life that all you can do is fume about an OPINION? Or do you fume in between checking on your latest dividends? I'll bet you are a real treat at a gathering of people who actually enjoy life.
Comment: #4
Posted by: RonniB
Fri Oct 19, 2012 2:08 PM
RonniB, RonnuB RonniB, RonniB, RonniB, RonniB,

Got anything to say about the article?

I was having fun, didn't spend any more than 5 real time minutes at the keyboard, and I would never be caught at a gathering where calling people duma** is considered "enjoying life".

That's obviously your crowd.

Comment: #5
Posted by: Tom
Fri Oct 19, 2012 4:51 PM
Re: Tom
If this is your idea of having fun, I have immense sympathy for all the wingless flies that have entertained you during your youth.

Re the article: I am still waiting for Ann to click her shoes twice after an adoration.
Comment: #6
Posted by: RonniB
Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:50 PM
You have sympathy for the wingless flies of your imagination, but none for a woman who is called a dumba**? Go ahead and hate on Anne Romney, I'm sure she is responsible for the absence of dividends your life. Ah, you don't know her, she is a stranger to you. So that's how you treat strangers, with fear, loathing, and namecalling? That you so willingly believe the caricature of this woman offered by soldiers of the left would be a piece from someone who makes silly allusions to a child's film created in 1938.

Be a real sister and defend this woman, as you would Hillary Rosen or Candy Crowley or Hillary Clinton. If you saw a stranger on the street berating a woman and calling her a dumba**, what would you think? What would you do? Would you chime in with the stranger? That is what you are doing right now.

Go ahead and talk angry at me for pointing out some truths in a way you don't like; but there lies the yellow bricked road called "Hypocrite." You're already half way to Oz.

Three minutes for those with a stopwatch.
Comment: #7
Posted by: Tom
Fri Oct 19, 2012 8:55 PM
Re: Tom
"Soldiers of the left, hateful progressives" - I gotta admit you sure know how to do some namecalling yourself. Of course, your tactics are in sync with all the rest of the Romneyites who accuse everyone else of their own misdeeds.
The question that really puzzles me is why you are so loathe to actually say the word "dumbass". Is it because of some terrifying dreams of penguins attacking you with rosaries, or was the potty-training at gunpoint ineffective? Trying to euphemize or sublimate a word without actually SPELLING it is hypocritical to the nth degree. Poor Tommy boy.
Oh...I forgot...I agree with Marc 100%. Ann Romney has NO clue about the daily life of the 99% that have to work for a living. Sounds like you don't either.
Comment: #8
Posted by: RonniB
Fri Oct 19, 2012 10:11 PM
ya, ya, ya, but do you agree with Marc that Anne Romney is a dumba**? You've got your own religion and Anne Romney is a heretic, right? You can call her names, strip her of dignity and humanity, humiliate her, treat her as less of a person because YOU say she has no clue about daily life. Arem't you kind.

Got to go to work now, on Saturday. Sounds like I do have to work for a living, just another thing you are wrong about. Try not to stone Anne Romney while I'm away.
Comment: #9
Posted by: Tom
Sat Oct 20, 2012 5:14 AM
Re: Tom
Geez Tom, I'm beginning to wonder if you don't have a crush on Annie, or something similar. Your acute defense of her honor sounds almost Oedipal. Please remember: Just because you may have received a "signed" letter from her, thanking you for your $5.00 donation, doesn't mean she actually knows you exist. She hasn't bonded with you on a celestial basis. Her meal ticket has long been punched by Milt. You could, however, name your blowup doll "Ann" and maybe find the fulfillment you are denied from afar.
Comment: #10
Posted by: RonniB
Sat Oct 20, 2012 12:45 PM
"I'll bet you are a real treat at a gathering of people who actually enjoy life.

"...the wingless flies that have entertained you during your youth."

"...(t)errifying dreams of penguins attacking you with rosaries, or was the potty-training at gunpoint ineffective? Trying to euphemize or sublimate a word without actually SPELLING it is hypocritical to the nth degree. Poor Tommy boy."

"...You could, however, name your blowup doll "Ann" and maybe find the fulfillment you are denied from afar."

Look at all of your strong arguments concerning my list and Marc's column. You got some focus below your waist, there. Your proud of yourself for hitting below the belt every time. Keep swinging, but try to come close to defending the one your are so protective of. Chant his name to calm yourself: Obama, Obama, Obama...

Feel better? Your taking this way too personal, come up with clear arguments for re-election and why we it is righteous to call someone, anyone, that name you so are so proud to utter. Go for a head shot if you got it in you, try to keep it above gutter level, if such a thing is possible for you.

Comment: #11
Posted by: Tom
Sat Oct 20, 2012 3:57 PM
Re: Tom
"Righteous"? What's that got to do with politics? Oh...I forgot...that's the cry of the GOP as they try to impose their religious views on the women of America. The party whose members advocate religious metaphors over accepted science - all ya gotta do is believe! The party whose presidential candidate will completely contradict anything he has previously said without a blink of the eye. The candidate who proudly announces he will bring jobs to Americans while his firm shipped the companies they bought overseas. The candidate who is married to the previously mentioned woman who obviously believes anything he says. Yes, I'd say dumbass is accurate. Whether or not this qualifies for a headshot is irrelevant. Your nose is so high in the air, a shot in the jewels is all that's available. While you're at it, look up "self-righteous" on the dictionary. I believe I spotted your picture beside the definition.
Comment: #12
Posted by: RonniB
Sat Oct 20, 2012 7:57 PM
So it's not about respect for others or common decency. It's about your hate for the Republican party.

You have yet to make a case as to why Obama should be elected or why it is acceptable to call a woman a dumb**. Focus, now . Behave as if this isn't personal, leave my nose and other appendages out of it. Why should Obama be re-elected and why is it perfectly alright to refer to a woman as a dumba**.

I'm not bothered by your personal attacks, just calm down and make your case. Remember, not a paragraph about Republicans and how you fear and loathe them. Rather why should Obama be re-elected and why is it a fine thing to refer to a woman as a dumba**. Talk about Obama, not me, Anne Romney, or some caricature of Republicans you've got stuck in your mind. Talk about Obama first, and then explain why it is justifiable to call a woman a dumba**.

Comment: #13
Posted by: Tom
Sun Oct 21, 2012 6:40 PM
Before you jump on me with more assumptions about my "potty training" or "self righteousness" be aware that the first President I voted for was Carter. A nice man, loved the Accords with Anwar Sadat, but Carter was in over his head on the economy and the wise use of power. The press told me Reagan was a two-headed monster, but he was okay, a President for all of us, and he became one of only two Presidents I voted for twice, Bill Clinton being the other. Clinton was also a President for all of the Country. Didn't vote for Bush I, but did the first time for Bush II. Hated him after two years and voted for Kerry because he gave such a great speech at the convention and because of my aforementioned distaste of GW. You win some, you lose some and both I and the Country carried on. Voted for Obama, but like Carter he seems in over his head and is certainly not a President for the whole Country, as your protective anger and my unyielding resistance clearly displays. I doubt that Romney is a two-headed monster, I've heard that one before.

So why is it just fine and dandy to refer to a woman, any woman, as a dumba**? Surely that is not in line with liberal principles. As someone who has voted Democratic more than half of my voting life, I'm asking you why it is suddenly ok for a democrat to refer to a woman, any woman, as a dumba**?

I can't get with that, and think it indicates a certain rot creeping into the party. Why is it good for a democrat to refer to a woman, any woman, as a dumba**?
Comment: #14
Posted by: Tom
Sun Oct 21, 2012 7:35 PM
Re: Tom
It is impossible to graft a new idea onto a closed (political) mind. I have no need to justify my ideas or terminoligies to you. "Why?" "Why not?" I'm sure, by now, that there must be many terms and labels that are either foreign to your understanding or distasteful to your sensibilities. Enjoy them, savor them, ridicule them, ponder them. Acceptance is a great prelude to understanding.
Comment: #15
Posted by: RonniB
Tue Oct 23, 2012 9:35 PM
"It is impossible to graft a new idea onto a closed (political) mind"

You prove that. Yesterday the civil discourser in chief told a 6 year old that Romney is a bullsh*****. How delighted you must be! How courageous to use such language in today's society! How bold! How rebellious! How deep! How expressive! How on topic! How fearless! How persuasive! How respectful of diverse opinion! How adherent to the warm-hearted and loving liberal spirit!

You're right, you have no need to justify your ideas or "terminoligies" (sic) to me. I understood the language you use at age 8 and discarded it as unworthy long ago. I thought being a liberal meant being understanding and kind to everyone, not just preferred groups. The dichotomy of liberal words and liberal actions is something you will have to justify to yourself.
Comment: #16
Posted by: Tom
Fri Oct 26, 2012 6:44 AM
Re: Tom
You still don't (and probably NEVER will) get it. To judge a person by the "civility" of their discourse is as narrow-minded and ignorant as pigeon-holing a person's character with a political label. Many people choose not to be a robotic, clonelike imitations of people like you who try to ordain behaviour. Maybe, once you get that broom handle surgically removed, you will be able to accept opinions, speech, even actions different from your own. Until then, you are bound to cringe at anything not to your lofty, if not delusional standards. Seems to me that being the leader of the lemmings is a thankless job.
Oh yes, I agree that Milt is a bull*******...and a masterful one, at that. But that term still comes short of the real truth: Milt is a liar. Pure and simple.
Comment: #17
Posted by: RonniB
Fri Oct 26, 2012 3:12 PM
Broom handle? Surgically removed? Below the waist again. See a therapist about YOUR potty training.

Robotic, clone-like? You are describing yourself, dear. Go ahead, stay angry, it suits you. Lemmings, accepting opinions, are you accepting mine? Like a big baby you have to have everybody agreeing with with you. Well, I'm not because I never agree with a jackass. Aren't I courageous for calling you that? You should begin admiring me according to your rules. After a week of this I have decided you simply suck. You are an immature child accepting nothing besides your own vapid and childish thoughts. I withheld judgement, but you are an ugly personality. Look at all of your replies and you will see and ugly and stupid personality unable to speak civilly or reasonably. You want name calling, you got it you adolescent troll. Don't you dare call anyone else a dumba** because your name is primary in the definition of the word. You do not even qualify as a useful idiot, you are a useless idiot.

You are a useless idiot. You do not accept opinions, speech, and actions different from your own, but demand it from others.

Is your face as ugly as your personality?
Comment: #18
Posted by: Tom
Fri Oct 26, 2012 6:10 PM
Re: Tom
It appears your rant may be a result of the altitude change; from lofty delusion to reality. All the time you've been blathering about hateful progressives and low-rent language, YOUR political mascot, Ann Coulter, describes our President as a "retard". Y'see, Tommy boy, it is truly hypocritical to categorize me with a political term, due to my choice of words, while an infamous Republican media whore uses a term far more degrading - and gloats about it. Make sure your backyard is clean before yelling at a neighbor's trash.
Actually, my face is glowing, as is my personality. You have now fallen from (supposed) grace and shown your true colors. It's not the drop that hurts - it's the sudden stop. Try being a good little boy and spend your time working on Tommy, rather than everyone else. It will probably be more productive, and you won't be responsible for the defense of Annie's honor anymore. Won't that be nice?
Comment: #19
Posted by: RonniB
Sat Oct 27, 2012 3:30 PM
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