creators.com opinion web
Liberal Opinion Conservative Opinion
Lenore Skenazy
Lenore Skenazy
11 Sep 2014
Innocent Mistake or Child Murder?

Last week, a grand jury indicted the Georgia man whose toddler died of heatstroke after being left in the SUV … Read More.

4 Sep 2014
The Budweiser Kittens

Perhaps you remember Katy the Kangaroo — but probably not. About 60 years ago, Katy was Tony the Tiger'… Read More.

28 Aug 2014
Let's Criminalize Childhood

A whopping 68 percent of Americans think there should be a law that prohibits kids 9 or younger from playing … Read More.

To Gnaw Meat Is To Love Meat

Comment

What is the secret boys learn from their scoutmasters right around puberty?

Don't think too hard, please. It's beef jerky.

"Most people are introduced to the snack by the time they're 11 or 12," said Jeff LeFever, director of marketing for Jack Link's dried meat snacks. "And if you haven't been introduced to it by that age, you won't be."

Most girls — including me — weren't. But somehow, my son — age 12 and, indeed, a Boy Scout — is totally familiar with the stuff. "It's awesome!" he said — about a product that never (as far as I knew) had crossed our threshold.

"Stereotypically, people think it's a guy's snack," admitted LeFever — an understatement on par with, "Stereotypically, people think of childbirth as more of a girl thing."

Guy snack? Guy icon! Beef jerky defines the American male. It's cowboys and Indians food: rough, rugged, stinky, proud — the kind of thing guys share with their dogs (or possibly vice versa). It's sold in totally male emporiums, too: convenience stores, The Home Depot. Now that I've become aware of the whole salted-meat-snacks category, I looked for some at a suburban supermarket last week and found just one sorry spine of it near the nuts.

Then I stopped at a Shell station, and — whoa! It was like a beef jerky convention in there! Pork and chicken and beef in slabs and sticks and whips. Clearly, guys know where to find jerky, and jerky knows where to find guys.

But is this sex bias, historic though it may be, fair? After all, metrosexuals are indulging in spas. Burly men are cooking and getting in touch with their feelings. Somewhere out West, a bearded guy is giving birth.

But according to industry studies, women make up only 40 percent of the dried-meat-treat customers, compared with 60 percent of grown men. The time has come, my friends, for some consciousness jerking.

Over at Jack Link's, the brass agrees. As the Virginia Slims brand is to female smokers, so Jack Link's wants to be to female snackers — the product that makes salty meat slabs seem as ladylike as a lunch of low-fat cottage cheese and Triscuits.

To this end, they've started concocting jerky offerings that are softer, sweeter and hipper — beginner's jerky, in a way. Or maybe you could call it gateway jerky. The company brought a whole lot of it to a fancy luncheon in New York the other day to introduce my gender to the wonders of dried meat.

Surrounding us were bowls of french-fry-sized beef "tenders," as easy to chew as a wad of Bazooka. There were soft morsels of sesame chicken "nuggets" that tasted less like the American frontier and more like last night's Chinese takeout. Then there were the trendy flavors: sweet and spicy Thai jerky and Buffalo chicken-flavored nuggets and teriyaki turkey jerky and — WHERE HAD THIS STUFF BEEN ALL MY LIFE?

I left the luncheon a changed — and pungent — woman.

Ironically enough, beef jerky turns out to be an almost freakishly female food: low-fat, high-protein, more filling than chips. Call it "PMS chews" and we ladies will be chewing till the cows come home. Or maybe we'll just chew the cows. I am woman; hear me gnaw!

Of course, the stuff still looks like dog food and smells like smoked socks. Open a bag and — whew. But we've gotten used to men. We'll get used to jerky, too.

And then we'll fight 'em for that last Slim Jim at the spa.

Lenore Skenazy is a columnist at The New York Sun and Advertising Age. To find out more about Lenore Skenazy (lskenazy@yahoo.com) and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.



Comments

0 Comments | Post Comment
Already have an account? Log in.
New Account  
Your Name:
Your E-mail:
Your Password:
Confirm Your Password:

Please allow a few minutes for your comment to be posted.

Enter the numbers to the right:  
Creators.com comments policy
More
Lenore Skenazy
Sep. `14
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
31 1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30 1 2 3 4
About the author About the author
Write the author Write the author
Printer friendly format Printer friendly format
Email to friend Email to friend
View by Month
Authorís Podcast
Joseph Farah
Joseph FarahUpdated 17 Sep 2014
Michelle Malkin
Michelle MalkinUpdated 17 Sep 2014
Brent Bozell

16 May 2013 When in Doubt, Blame the Mom

6 Aug 2007 In the Catskills, a Big Slice of 1953

22 Jul 2007 Why Playboy Bunnies Still Exist