The Year 2009 in CarolsFROSTY THE (OUTSOURCED) SNOWMAN Frosty the Snowman was a jolly, happy soul. He worked every year Spreading Christmas cheer Till his job got shipped to Seoul. Frosty the Snowman — He's a part-time guy today, Working weekend shifts At some local drifts For about one-third his pay. He looks a little tragic 'Cause his old silk hat is gone. And when he mutters to himself No one wants him on their lawn. Oh! Frosty the Snowman Saw his job base melt away. But officials say It'll be OK; He'll be back again someday! (As a snowball in Green Bay.) WHOSE TEXTS ARE THESE? (to "Greensleeves") Whose texts are these To some dumb blonde While wife and kids lay sleeping? They say, "Hey, hon, Wanna have some fun? P.S. These texts aren't for keeping." This, this is Tiger's tale. You can buy him now At a fire sale. He's leaving the golfing trail To see if he's still married. YOU (SENATORS) BETTER WATCH OUT You'd better watch out. You'd better not cry. You'd better shut up. I'm telling you why: Lieberman is mulling his vote. He's making a choice. He's changing it twice. Did he just say he thinks Cheney is nice? Lieberman is mulling his vote. There's days when he swings lib'ral. There's days when he swings right. There's days when he points to his rear And tells both sides, "Take a bite." Oh, you'd better watch out.
You don't like his choice? Just wait a few days. Lieberman is mulling his vote. BECK THE HALLS Beck the halls with Glenn so jolly. Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. Call the health care plan pure folly. Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. Rip Pelosi; make gay rights jokes. Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la. Say Obama hates all white folks. Fa-la-la-la-la, Fox-lah-di-dah. THE PARTY BASE SONG (to "We Need a Little Christmas") We need a Sarah Palin Right this very minute! Winkin' at the camera, Betcha she can win it! Yes, we need a Sarah Palin Right this very minute. Maybe she's a despot, But, Santa dear, we're desperate! So roll out the book tour. Turn on the brightest smile Alaska's ever seen. Don't call her "fruitcake." It's time we voters bagged a moose on that campaign trail. Sure she's grown to be a plateful, Grown a little bolder, Grown a tad ungrateful, Grown a little older. Still, we need a little something Cuter than Rush Limbaugh. Need a little Palin now! For we need to win the next time, Need to show Obama, Need to give the folks a Pistol-packin' mama! And we need a little snappy "happy ever after," Need a little Palin now! Lenore Skenazy is the author of "Who's the Blonde That Married What's-His-Name? The Ultimate Tip-of-the-Tongue Test of Everything You Know You Know — But Can't Remember Right Now" and "Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry." To find out more about Lenore Skenazy (lskenazy@yahoo.com) and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM
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