Lessons From Lanyard

Everything I need to know I learned in summer camp.

Or, at least, everything I need to know about lanyard. Which, in turn, taught me everything else.

How so, you ask?

When you arrive at camp, a young and clumsy child, you are immediately in awe of all the older kids (9, 10, even 11), who can make amazing things with lanyard. Things such as … more lanyard, but thicker and sort of box-shaped. Or sometimes in a spiral. And key chains, of course. Also, sometimes, a lanyard lizard — ultra-cool. What these wizened weaving wizards have mastered seems all but unattainable to you, the younger camper, and what you dream of is the far-off day you may acquire even half their skills, dexterity and savoir-faire.

And then you get to be my age — or even 15 — and you realize: What? It's not as if those kids mastered cold fusion or even the backhand. They made a lanyard . So Lanyard Lesson No. 1 is as simple as it is stunning: Don't envy other people.

At least, don't envy other people's lanyard skills. Or even backhands. (You can envy them a little if they stop global warming and solve the world's energy crisis.)

Lanyard Lesson No. 2: What is valuable in one culture is not necessarily valuable in another.

Some tribes in Africa elongate human necks to a foot long. They find them beautiful. We find them weird. Some people in France saute snails with garlic. They find them delicious. We find them weird. (The French, that is. I'm sure the snails are fine.) And yet to get along in this multi-culti world, we must learn to respect one another's perspective.

A good way to do this is to think about just how incredibly beautiful a lanyard necklace seemed at age 6 or 7.

How sophisticated and alluring.

And how it looks now.

See? Value is relative and culturally determined. (Surely, lanyard taught you this lesson, too?)

Lanyard Lesson No. 3: The box stitch is a lot like life.

It's hard; it keeps getting messed up; and just when you finally are getting the hang of it, you run out. (This lesson is a harsh one, yes.)

Lanyard Lesson No. 4: Just like the case with skin, the color of your lanyard really doesn't matter. (This one is deep!)

Lanyard Lesson No. 5: Honor thy father and mother.

They LOVED the lanyard thingy you made them — and they weren't even faking it. They kept it for years, just as they kept you! They are the wind beneath your key chain. Appreciate them.

Lanyard Lesson No. 6: Simple pleasures are the best.

Later on in life, you will learn how to run an Excel spreadsheet, dance the tango, and figure out what really was going on in "The Da Vinci Code," including the whole Templar thing. (And why we love Tom Hanks in every movie — except that one.) But will it be quite as sweet as braiding together four strands of flat nylon in the shade of a tree with your friends nearby and ticks nibbling on your shins?

Impossible.

Lanyard Lesson No. 7: Summer makes everything better, even a pointless activity that would bore you to tears the rest of the year.

Enjoy it!

Lenore Skenazy is a columnist at Advertising Age. She is the founder of FreeRangeKids.com and the author of the book "Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry." To find out more about Lenore Skenazy (lskenazy@yahoo.com) and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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