Is It Still Memorabilia If No One Wants to Remember Him?

Just when you thought O.J. Simpson's story couldn't get any sadder, stranger or seedier, he's arrested on charges of seizing a trove of his memorabilia from dealer Bruce Fromong, seemingly unaware that his stuff has become almost worthless.

It's like risking life and limb to dredge up a treasure chest — and finding it filled with "Kerry for President" buttons.

"We had talked about auctioning off this stuff," said the owner of Las Vegas-based American Memorabilia, Victor Moreno, referring to the Simpson items owned by Fromong. "I said, ‘Bruce, this O.J. stuff — I don't think it'll bring good money. It's soft. People don't want it.'"

His assessment was echoed by others in the business, even those with fond memories of better days.

"O.J. before 1994 and the whole murder thing was very collectible," said Jeff Rosenberg, president of the memorabilia show company, TRISTAR Productions. "He was a Heisman Trophy winner, and in the Hall of Fame, and people liked him. He did not do the autograph-show circuit, so his autograph was pretty scarce."

After he was tried for murder, however, "most of America determined they don't want to be a part of O.J. and his memorabilia," said Rosenberg. "We don't see a demand for it."

Moreno thinks that even the item O.J. apparently wanted most desperately would not fetch more than $500: his 1995 acquittal suit.

"Trying to get the suit he was exonerated in pretty much tells you everything that you need to know about O.J.," said the co-author of "O.J.'s Legal Pad," John Boswell. "It's just bizarre. That's the whole thing about O.J. — he's not even a very good psychopath, you know what I mean? A psychopath is the sort of cat that ate the canary and all you see is maybe a little feather in his mouth.

But this guy is right in your face, like, ‘I am a psychopath! I am! I am!'"

And while even psychopaths have their fans — (ITAL) someone is buying Charles Manson's artwork — it's just hard to imagine a gleaming breakfront filled with souvenir spoons, Hummel figurines and a pair of O.J.'s trousers.

So most breakfronts aren't. In fact, America's memorabilia appetite is a pretty good gauge of the few crimes we find truly unforgivable.

One is child molesting, or the suspicion of it. "Michael Jackson stuff used to sell for extraordinary prices," said Eric Johnson, a spokesman for the rock-and-roll dealer Wolfgang's Vault. Now it doesn't move.

Neither do items with a whiff of cheating. "When Mark McGwire hit 70 home runs in '98 — I'm not sure I've seen (ITAL) anything (UNITAL) like that in the modern era, from signed baseballs to rookie cards to the $3 million ball that sold at auction that year," said Joe Orlando, president of PSA, a professional sports authenticating company. "But that was obviously pre-Congressional hearings and the steroids controversy."

After those, McGwire merchandise tanked. And the fact that Barry Bonds' record-shattering 756th home run ball just sold for less than $1 million shows that he and his goods have suffered a similar fate.

As for Michael Vick memorabilia — don't ask.

Once in a while a fallen phenom can make a comeback — Kobe Bryant, for instance. After the basketball star was accused of rape, his selling power "fell way, way down," Rosenberg said. "It's starting to come back up now."

I doubt the same will ever be said for O.J., who may actually be the only person left who wants his old suit.

If he gets to keep it, let's hope he remembers one eternal truth: If it doesn't fit, the pants will split.

Lenore Skenazy is a contributing editor at the New York Sun. To find out more about Lenore Skenazy (lenore@lenoretown.com), and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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