Talking It OverOver the holidays, Bill and I delighted in the company of our nephews, 19-month-old Tyler and 6-month-old Zachary. Along with their parents, grandparents, Chelsea and assorted other baby watchers, we read and talked to them, ran after Tyler as he explored the White House and encouraged Zach to follow in his walker. We took turns telling Tyler that he shouldn't throw his food on the floor and carrying Zach around when he needed comforting. No one can predict what the future holds for these little boys, but for now, they are being guided and protected by adults who are nurturing them with the love, time and energy that children need to develop their brains, bodies and characters. Zachary and Tyler are luckier than many children. It's hard to pick up a newspaper or watch the TV news without finding a story about an abused, neglected or abandoned child. When I look at the children I love, I ask myself how anyone could mistreat a child. I thought about that question when I recently visited St. Ann's Infant and Maternity Home just outside Washington, D.C. For 136 years, St. Ann's has taken in and cared for children whose own families have been unable or unwilling to give them the love, care and security they deserve from the adults in their lives. I took Socks, our cat, with me. He was the real star, as little hands reached out to pet him and voices pleaded for permission to hold him. While Socks was holding court, I saw babies whose development had been delayed or disturbed because they suffered from the effects of drugs their mothers had taken. I saw tiny bodies that had been abused physically and sexually. I looked into the bewildered eyes of children whose fathers had never known them and whose mothers had given up trying to cope with life. Sister Josephine Murphy, the director, told me stories about how the children's academic and behavioral problems were rooted in their feelings of worthlessness and insecurity. I also met young mothers enrolled in a parenting program who are learning how to take care of their babies and acquiring skills that will enable them to work and support themselves.
As a modern society, we know more about what children need to develop than ever before. But, ironically, we still have too few organized ways of supporting parents in the most important work they do. We have not figured out how to replace the extended family, clan or village that looked out for children in earlier times. As a result, many parents don't get the information or the help they need to become the best possible mothers and fathers they can be. For example, many parents still don't know that reading and talking to children are the most important ways they can help prepare them for school. Other parents don't know what questions to ask to distinguish between good and inferior child care. Still others are at a loss about how to childproof a home to avoid the thousands of accidents that injure and kill children every year. It is time to make some changes for our children's sake. Advances in technology and the global economy along with other developments in society have brought us much good, but they have also strained the fabric of family life, leaving us and our children poorer in many ways — physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually. This is one of the reasons I wrote my book, "It Takes a Village to Raise a Child and Other Lessons Our Children Teach Us." My goal was to share ideas and programs that work and to start people thinking about what all of us can do in our homes, workplaces, neighborhoods, schools, churches and governments to help families raise happy, responsible and resilient children. It truly does take a village of caring adults to raise a child. I hope all of us will choose to help ensure a brighter future for our children. COPYRIGHT 1996 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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