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Deb Saunders
Debra J. Saunders
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Out of the Closet on Proposition 8

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I voted against Proposition 22, the same-sex marriage ban, in 2000. I figured that if same-sex couples want to marry, why not let them? I believe in marriage. I don't want gay people to feel marginalized. But 61 percent of California voters thought otherwise.

In November, Proposition 8, a follow-up same-sex marriage ban, was on the ballot.

This time, I was so conflicted, I punted. I did not vote either way. I'm not proud of my nonvote, but as I watch the fallout from Proposition 8's 52 percent victory, I've seen things that are forcing me out of my closet.

A slow burn has been building since 2004, when San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom decided that he could flout the state marriage laws and authorize same-sex weddings in City Hall.

Worse, that prank threw the same-sex marriage issue to the courts — when it was clear that, within a matter of years, California voters would legalize same-sex marriage — and the issue would be settled for good. Instead, Newsom ensured same-sex marriage would remain a culture-war staple — while enraging many folks, who as mere citizens can't pick and choose which laws they follow. Then in 2008, by a 4-3 margin, the California Supreme Court decided to reward Newsom's law-breaking. Chief Justice Ron George argued that because the Legislature had passed domestic partnership legislation that confers the same benefits to same-sex couples enjoyed by married heterosexuals (except for the status of official marriage) domestic partnerships "realistically must be viewed as constituting significantly unequal treatment to same-sex couples."

Justice Marvin Baxter's dissenting opinion scolded the majority, noting that the court "does not have the right to erase, then recast, the age-old definition of marriage, as virtually all societies have understood it, in order to satisfy its own contemporary notions of equality and justice."

That sentence hit home.

There has been too little recognition of the fact that marriage has been limited to unions between members of the opposite sex since about as long as there have been laws.

Activists would argue that Prop. 8 "took away" their rights — as if the five months between the George decision and Prop. 8's passage outweigh thousands of years of human history.

After Canada legalized same-sex marriage in 2005, the government commissioned a study to debunk the argument that same-sex marriage laws could lead to the unintended consequence of legalized polygamy.

Oops. The authors supported recognizing polygamy.

Back in California, domestic partnerships provided all the benefits that came with same-sex marriage a la Ron George — except the name "marriage." And be it noted, the same-sex marriages that occurred during the five months weren't equal to heterosexual marriages either. Couples did not enjoy federal recognition, such as Social Security spousal benefits and family status for immigration purposes.

In other words, when activists complain that Proposition 8 "took away" their rights, the only right changed was the ability to call themselves married under state law. The other benefits stand.

Brookings Institution guest scholar Jonathan Rauch wrote a piece that will appear in the South Texas Law Review that makes a solid "traditionalist" case for same-sex marriage: Gay people exist. They have families. They have children who need legal protection. Rauch sees "marriage's deepest roots in its function rather than its boundaries, and which emphasizes the desire of marrying gay couples to carry forward the ancient tradition rather than to upend it."

He's right. But here's the sticking point. There's a heavy-handedness to the true believers. They use public schools to push their political agenda with young kids. (I know people who were shocked they voted "yes" on Proposition 8, but they did so for that reason.) And the post-passage campaign to intimidate Proposition 8 supporters is chilling. Consider Scott Eckern, Richard Raddon and Marjorie Christofferson, who had to resign from their jobs after their private donations to Proposition 8 were outed.

Others have been subjected to death threats and intimidation. I am writing this column because last week I saw websites publicize the names, addresses and employers of small donors, turned civilian targets.

Even before Proposition 8 passed, San Francisco Superior Court judges voted to bar judges from taking part in the Boy Scouts (because the Boy Scouts bar gay Scout masters); local governments pulled support for similar groups. And those intolerant acts occurred when the state had different laws for different couples.

I couldn't vote against gay couples, but I also couldn't vote to create a new class of pariahs. The gay community's failure to show tolerance is costing it friends.

E-mail Debra J. Saunders at dsaunders@sfchronicle.com. To find out more about Debra J. Saunders, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.


Comments

3 Comments | Post Comment
Ma'am; It may be that marriage as we know it is between a man and a woman... Okay, and that has been the law; but even the Bible has different forms of Marriage,  Poligamy as it has often appeared; divorce, and even a little Polytheism...How many examples of incest and inbreeding??? How many times was a wife introduced as a sister in the Bible??? Certainly there was a little embarassment; but who wouldn't be embarassed by marriage to their sister??? The Bible does not have Gay marriage, but it does have prohibitions to men who had their testicles crushed between two stones being considered as men by the community... In fact, this was the way extra little boys were treated, put in a warm bath to have their gonads crushed... No problem, right??? It does not matter if it is the law, or right out of the Bible; those who hope to find justification for evil or good have their support... But we cannot justify following the book or the law into abuse of real people, and fellow citizens... I don't want to abuse them; and I don't want them to abuse me...Looking at the example of primitives around the world, people have survived being flexible on the choice of partners... It is hard to imagine a people more cruel, or a people surrounded by more cruel people than the Hebrews... Even they usually made their accomodations with nature... We should do the same...Try to remember that we have only had Western Law in its present form for less than a thousand years; and under law, our wealth has grown -along with our prisons and the scale of our wars... So has our injustice grown and the intrustion of society into personal affairs... We all survived fromthe primitive marriage relations of our forefathers... We cannot say how, or if society will survive its experiment with LAW...From my perspective it is not working at all... Thanks...Sweeney
Comment: #1
Posted by: James A, Sweeney
Tue Jan 27, 2009 3:37 PM
Ms. Saunders:
I frequently read your column and as often as not agree or disagree with you. In today's words on the conflict over the future definition of marriage one phrase stands out. Gay activists are not practicing the tolerance they want bestowed on them.
November 6th my partner and I went for a walk and a bite to eat in our neighborhood (The Castro) feeling very sad. He and I had just lost a dear friend and were still in shock. As we strolled back to Eighteenth Street, the protest march opposing the vote on Prop. 8 materialized. We stood and watched, eventually talking with other onlookers or exchanging a smile or joke with a marcher with a particularly pointed or funny placard. For instance, chickens have rights, gays don't. It was peaceful. A number of children participated. In a funny way it raised our spirits.

Over the next week I wrote several drafts of a letter to the editors (which I never sent); and read those printed in the SF Chronicle and elsewhere. I was disturbed by the rancor of some. I also discussed the issue with acquaintances and was sympathetic if a little surprised by the reason one gentleman gave for voting against gay marriage rights -- medical insurance costs to cities and counties.
Gays are a well organized political bloc in the Bay Area. They have won some acceptance here. Throughout California they are often misunderstood partly because of a lack of respect for those with more 'conventional'
life choices.
Through a long and odd set of circumstances I am registered as a Republican and have never bothered to change my registration in past years. I received an enormous amount of campaign literature and robo-calls targeting me as an potential opponent of gay marriage. It would have been funny if it were not so sad.
I've lived in San Francisco close to 40 years and no way am I going to deny my neighbors their 'civil rights'.
The assumption that as a Republican I would necessarily be opposed is naive. The campaign against Prop.8 was crude, thoughtless, shrill, childish and offensive.
That's enough.
Comment: #2
Posted by: connie blanding
Mon Feb 2, 2009 12:05 PM
Oh, by the way, what about the attempt of Proposition 8's supporters to do exactly the same thing, in order to extort money from the oppoenents of the measure? (As reported at http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/Prop_8_Backers_Threaten_to_Out_Opponents.html) Has Ms. Saunders spoken out against that as well (and did she do it at that time)?
Comment: #3
Posted by: Shrdlu42
Wed Feb 4, 2009 1:50 PM
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