Uncle Sam Should Respect All Marriages

Listen to the voices crying out for Congress to end the federal government's mistreatment of legally married gay couples.

Listen to McKinley BarbouRoske of Iowa. She displayed a confidence well beyond her 11 years when she spoke up for her moms at a recent news conference in front of the U.S. Capitol. McKinley's parents were finally able to wed in their home state two months ago — after nearly two decades as a couple. Now they quite rightly want Uncle Sam to recognize their marriage.

"One of the many things my awesome moms taught me was fairness – and how to be fair," said McKinley, standing with her mothers and 7-year-old sister, Breeanna.

"They've been together for 19 years, and I think that's a fact to proud of. ... It's not right to treat us differently than other families."

And listen to David Wilson of Massachusetts. He married Rob Compton on May 17, 2004, after they helped persuade their state's top court to open marriage to those of us who're gay.

"We want to retire with the security we deserve," said Wilson, pointing out how their efforts to protect one another financially are undermined by the 1996 law requiring the federal government to treat them as unmarried — in determining everything from Social Security benefits to taxes owed.

"We should have the same rights and the benefits that every ... legally married opposite-sex couple enjoys in this country. We are U.S. citizens. We are Americans."

Their voices are hardly alone in calling on Congress to stop this injustice:

Rep. Jerry Nadler, chairman of the House Judiciary Committee's subcommittee on the Constitution, was at the news conference to unveil his repeal legislation, the Respect for Marriage Act. It would treat all marriages the same under federal law, including those of gay couples who return home to — or move to — states that don't yet issue marriage licenses to same-couples. Nadler's bill would let each state continue to decide what marriages to recognize for state purposes.

Perhaps what's most encouraging about Nadler's bill is the large number of co-sponsors it has already attracted: 91, all of them Democrats.

That's more than one-third of House Democrats. And that number includes an even higher proportion of the party's women, blacks, Hispanics and Asians.

This long-overdue congressional step is clearly drawing on energy being generated by state-level gains. Nadler's co-sponsors, for example, include all or most Democrats from four of the five states where same-sex marriages are performed or, in the case of New Hampshire, will begin at the start of next year. (The others are Massachusetts, Connecticut and Vermont; Iowa is the exception). Also saying yes to federal recognition are at least half of the Democrats from locales where all gay marriages are recognized (New York, Rhode Island and the District of Columbia) or some are recognized (California).

Judiciary Committee Chairman John Conyers supports the bill, which would get rid of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act. So does President Bill Clinton, who signed it into law but says, "The fabric of our country has changed, and so should this policy." House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was "very pleased" the bill was introduced, spokesman Drew Hammill said.

Even DOMA's father, former Republican congressman Bob Barr, supports Nadler's bill, explaining that it would "remove the federal government from involving itself in matters defining 'marriage,' which historically and according to the principles of federalism are properly state matters."

The repeal drive's importance was underscored on Sept. 18, when the Justice Department filed a motion asking a federal court to dismiss a challenge to DOMA filed in Massachusetts by seven gay married couples and three widowers. Although the brief noted that President Barack Obama views DOMA as "discriminatory" and supports repeal, it called the wrongheaded law constitutional.

State-level advances demonstrate that the push for progress shouldn't be limited to courthouses. Lawmakers need to hear the voices crying out for fairness.

Congress, it's time to listen, reflect and act: Respect all marriages.

Deb Price of The Detroit News writes the first nationally syndicated column on gay issues. To find out more about Deb Price and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.

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