Tennis Improves Couples' Home Game

One hundred percent focused, knowing just what she needed to do, Joyce served a low-flying ball down the center line. That forced one of our much younger opponents to lunge awkwardly and hit a weak return right to me. I slammed the bright yellow ball hard, scoring another winner.

It was a tennis doubles game plan that Joyce and I had practiced over and over at the beach the weekend before. The drill we'd made up — and sneaky variations we'd worked on to confound our rivals once they figured out our strategy — paid off: We won, six games to one, confirming a lesson about coordination that the beautiful game of tennis has taught us.

In our 24 years as a couple, a lot has changed. But our shared love of tennis has been one of the most satisfying constants.

Twenty-four years is starting to sound like a very long time. Both of us have noticed lately that a lot of folks are genuinely interested in how we've managed to pull off such an achievement. And, more often than not, the questions come from straight friends.

I usually start my answer by offering advice we learned from the late therapist-author Betty Berzon: Pool your money; invest in a shared future. But, invariably, I end up talking about tennis.

What a great couples sport. Compared with other activities we tried — scuba diving, for example, or golf — it's cheap, portable and safe.

No matter where we're headed, we've got tennis racquets, tennis shoes, tennis balls and, of course, a book on tennis drills lurking in the bottom of our wheeled duffle bags.

Some of our most wonderful vacation memories are of pickup doubles games at Kapiolani Park in Waikiki and at Poipu Kai tennis center on the neighboring Hawaiian island of Kauai.

As fans, we've traveled to the French Open and are plotting to find a way to celebrate our quarter-century together next year at pricey Wimbledon without smashing our piggybank.

The gay doubles league that we stumbled upon in our hometown a few years ago has magically erased the loneliness that marred our early years.

Just the adventure that tennis brings to a couple's life is more than enough reason to hail it as a longevity enhancer. But tennis also teaches lessons that strengthen relationships. I'd strongly advise any couple hitting a rough patch to put money and time into doubles, not "therapy."

Here are a few things we've learned that can add up to a winning partnership — on and off the court:

— Talk, talk, talk: Just as your doubles partner may not have noticed one of your opponents is a lefty or has a weak backhand, you have a lot of off-court insights that just gotta be shared. Joyce and I are big talkers — and listeners.

— Build up your partner: Pro doubles teams slap hands after every point — win or lose. Especially when your partner has just screwed up, say something positive. The next point is now the one that matters.

— Respect the net: Enjoy playing with others, but stay on your side of the boundary line. Always remember, you only have one partner. Work on winning together.

— Cultivate being a good sport: Some days, your net game will stink. Or, your partner seems to be blowing every point. Or, horrors, the other team is simply just better. Learn to get flattened gracefully — and to celebrate even in defeat with a hug and a good laugh.

In tennis and life, there's simply no joy as special as having a lifelong doubles partner.

Deb Price of The Detroit News writes the first nationally syndicated column on gay issues. To find out more about Deb Price and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.

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