The couple's move from New Jersey to Idaho was to help Robert Ryan finally break free of the dark depression he'd sunk into after narrowly escaping the collapse of the World Trade Center tower where he'd worked until the Sept. 11 terror attacks.

Ryan was on the health insurance of his partner, Ralph Martinelli, a district sales manager for Konica Minolta Business Solutions. They'd fallen in love in 2004 and entered into a domestic partnership in Mount Laurel, N.J., the next year.

But after they moved, a letter from Martinelli's employer informed them last October that Ryan had been bounced off the company's health plan because "Idaho does not provide for Domestic Partner registration, nor are domestic partnerships recognized under Idaho law."

The couple was stunned.

"We are the same people. Ralph is the same really good employee. It just made no sense," Ryan says.

Ryan bought COBRA temporary coverage, making his monthly premium jump from about $100 to $630. Because his prescription drugs to treat his post-traumatic stress syndrome cost far more than he could afford without insurance — about $3,500 a month — he's worried he could fall back into an emotional tailspin when COBRA ends.

Company officials declined my repeated interview requests. The American Civil Liberties Union is urging the company to change its policy, so coverage doesn't depend on whether a gay employee happens to live somewhere that offers partner registration.

But the upsetting case shows the shortcomings of various legal unions that gay couples can enter. Two other recent ACLU cases spotlight the kinds of difficulties gay couples can encounter in spite of taking the available steps to get official recognition:

— Jason Smith and Settimio Pisu, a Connecticut couple who are joined in a civil union there, were jolted when doing taxes online at H&R Block.

A box popped up: "We don't support Connecticut civil union returns." To finish, they would have had to pay more — about $150 — and work with a tax expert by phone or at an office.

H&R Block spokeswoman Denise Sposato tells me the company updated its online program this year so that same-sex couples married in Massachusetts are treated the same as heterosexual married couples filing separately.

This year, H&R Block is giving rebates for extra fees paid by civil union couples in the states that allow for civil union filing, she said. Looking toward next tax season, civil union couples using H&R Block's online programs will pay the same as married couples filing separately, she added.

— When Jon Lawson's relationship ended, the Atlantan lost the health coverage he'd enjoyed through his ex-partner's employer. Lawson applied to buy insurance through a Georgia government plan for people losing coverage. But a letter informed him he was ineligible because, "the relationship of domestic partner is not considered a family relationship under Georgia law."

The ACLU stepped in, and Georgia let Lawson enroll. Commissioner of Insurance spokesman Glenn Allen told me the original decision was a "mistake" and that in the future all otherwise qualifying domestic partners will be eligible.

Though a good start, the patchwork of protections available to gay couples remains a fragile safety net.

Deb Price of The Detroit News writes the first nationally syndicated column on gay issues. To find out more about Deb Price and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.

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