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Deb Price
Deb Price
2 Jun 2010
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Neglected Children Deserve Loving Homes

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Martin Gill and his partner, licensed foster parents in Florida, were planning to move, so they told a state child-placement official it wasn't a good time for them to take in two needy boys.

They put out the welcome mat, though, after the official begged them to give baby "James" and his 4-year-old brother, "John," a special Christmas.

When the brothers arrived, the couple were heartbroken at the confirmation of the "neglect" designation. James had a terrible ear infection, and his medicine was spoiled. John had such awful ringworm that he looked bald.

Traumatized and silent, little John had been his infant brother's caretaker. One of the first orders of business for his new foster parents was teaching him that it was their job — not his — to change James' diapers.

"Those kids were taking care of each other," recalls Gill. "My 4-year-old knew how to take care of his little brother. … He knew how to feed him … (and) change him. And when they came to live with us, he wanted to push me out of the way to do these things."

When the children couldn't return to their biological relatives, Gill and his partner focused on giving James and John a loving, permanent family.

But what should have been a happy ending for the brothers — now ages 4 and 8 and thriving, along with their dog, cat and rabbit — is instead a legal limbo. A Florida law, passed in 1977 during Anita Bryant's anti-gay crusade, prohibits gay people from adopting.

With the American Civil Liberties Union's help, the boys' foster parents are challenging the law as a violation of the state constitution.

On Nov. 25, after a four-day trial that included expert testimony on the healthiness of children raised in gay-headed families, a Florida circuit court judge wisely struck the ban down. (You can read the ruling at www.aclu.org.)

Judge Cindy Lederman concluded: "Reports and studies find that there are no differences in the parenting of homosexuals or the adjustment of their children. … The issue is so far beyond dispute that it would be irrational to hold otherwise; the best interests of children are not preserved by prohibiting homosexual adoption."

Sadly, the state government is appealing. In this case's background is the anti-gay industry's fight with the professional world, from the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry to the Child Welfare League of America.

Clearheaded judges need to rule based on the scientific consensus that children raised by gay parents are at least as well adjusted as other kids. Despite that consensus, Mississippi bars same-sex couples from adopting; Utah bans unmarried couples from adopting; and Arkansas bars unmarried couples from fostering or adopting.

Florida, which bars all gay people from adopting, is the most restrictive.

But in many states without such restrictions, the best interests of children aren't always protected because family court judges can be reluctant to extend equal parenting rights to gay couples.

In 2006, in Florida alone, 165 children aged out of the foster care system without ever having been adopted. Read that sentence again.

Judges and lawmakers need to step up for neglected children. It's long past time for science to trump personal prejudice. Everyone deserves to grow up in a loving home.

Deb Price of The Detroit News writes the first nationally syndicated column on gay issues. To find out more about Deb Price and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.


Comments

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Ma'am;... Children may come out of sex, but it is not sexuality or sexual identity that makes parents, but love... I think it is terrible, even tragic, that people from the religion of love, of love of God and fellow man cannot grasp that children cannot live without love, because no one can live without love... What does it take to care for another human being??? What does it take to love??? I often find it hard enough to love my own children, and have little time or patience for others... I try to give to charity, and I encourage the same... But to make that commitment to strangers, to love and not judge, to care for with out expectation of return, to do God's work and the work of humanity, to give to our least ones, born out of hate, frustration, disease, dispair; THIS deserves honor... Shame on the religious right... There is your task, you Christians... God hears the Cry of the Poor and it is a condemnation of your wealth and political power amid so much pain and poverty... I know what hell is, and it is trying to live with yourself when you know in your warm bed, that children are suffering cold; and to know before your feast, that others are hungry, and feeling a pitiful helplessness that robs the pleasure out of excess...Everyone should do what they can...We are all trapped by our forms: the form of our economy, and the form of our religion, and the form of our government... Few enough can see beyond these forms to the possibilities that lie beyond.... Why let yourself be trapped by your ideology??? Before you deny a child a home on ideological grounds, be sure you have a home waiting for him, because he, or she cannot wait on a home, nor bear a moment without love... Thank you, and thanks to all who uphold human rights...Sweeney
Comment: #1
Posted by: James A, Sweeney
Mon Dec 1, 2008 9:15 AM
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