Least Expectations

There's a standard refrain you'll hear after every high-profile Washington indiscretion: Americans should expect more from their politicians. But really, we should expect less. Much less.

The John Edwards affair was reported in great detail by the undependable National Enquirer weeks ago, yet only when the immaculately coiffed former presidential candidate admitted the peccadillo to ABC's Bob Woodruff on "Nightline" was it considered worthwhile for the masses.

The Edwards story is newsworthy, but it certainly isn't earth-shattering. And it absolutely isn't "surprising," as some have labeled it. Guess what? Politicians regularly cheat on their better halves (even when their better halves are cancer-stricken) and then, almost invariably, lie about it.

"I took it really personally," a man from Charlotte, N.C., told CNN.com after the Edwards affair's disclosure. "I always thought John Edwards was different from the typical politician."

Why on earth would a citizen ever take the private blunders of a politician personally? Why would anyone believe Edwards is anything more than typical? His preening hypocrisy and self-proclaimed importance are very typical, actually.

When it came to politics, Edwards and his fans — though there never seemed to be quite enough of them to make a difference — were loyal devotees of state-imposed economic "equality," an imposition Edwards didn't rely on himself to become wealthy and famous.

Well, maybe "loyal" is a stretch. In reality, the former senator was a profound believer in positions that were politically expedient. In a few years, Edwards transformed himself from a centrist Southern Democrat, capable of winning a conservative Senate seat and voting for the Iraq war, to a populist demagogue, who, from his $25 million North Carolina estate, was one of the nation's leading detractors of capitalism.

Some of us believed Edwards was a fraud and his newfound ideology was destructive to the nation.

We believed it when we thought he was a magnificent husband and after we found out about his infidelity. His public self-flagellation doesn't change anything.

And if you were a fan of Edwards', don't worry. Democrats can unearth thousands of other talented and attractive trial lawyers to spread the identical message. (Some even say Democrats may forgive Edwards, though it would be unwise to forgive him too soon, as a joint appearance by the Clintons and Edwards at the Democratic National Convention may bring on some uncomfortable questions.)

As much as some of us dislike Edwards, personal gotchas are a lazy way to tie indiscretion and corruption to the political ideals of the offender. As we all know, unfaithfulness and dishonesty are bipartisan hobbies.

In only a month's time, we have had the U.S. Senate's longest-serving Republican, Ted Stevens, arraigned in federal court on seven counts of failing to disclose more than $250,000 in gifts and Democratic Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick of Detroit violating terms of his bond in a perjury case by making an unauthorized business trip and being sent to jail. Kilpatrick was charged with perjury for allegedly lying under oath about an affair.

Incredibly, despite our low opinion of elected officials and countless examples, this election season, millions of otherwise-reasonable Americans once again will plaster their cars dutifully with bumper stickers or yard signs bearing the name of some lifelong bureaucrat who has promised them the world.

Are these people running for office so special that they deserve nearly religious adoration? Is government so important in your life that you offer it?

Politicians exist to implement public policy. They lean left or they lean right. Do they possess an extraordinary ability to magically "fix" the economy or "create" jobs or change the world? Hardly.

Let's keep expectations for politicians where they belong: Stay out of jail. Everything else is gravy.

David Harsanyi is a columnist at The Denver Post and the author of "Nanny State." Visit his Web site at www.DavidHarsanyi.com. To find out more about David Harsanyi and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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