England Swings Back and Forth on Official Space Alien Greeter

If (when) the day comes when an alien spacecraft lands on the planet Earth, who, exactly, should be sent to greet the extraterrestrial visitors?

OK, so you haven't given this much thought. There have been a lot of other things on your plate. Ours, too. But that doesn't mean some people aren't thinking about it, and as it happens, many of them live in England.

On Sunday, Jonathan Leake, science editor of The Sunday Times of London, reported that United Nations was "poised to designate" Mazlan Othman, a Malaysian astrophysicist, as the planet's official greeter.

Mr. Leake reported that Ms. Othman would describe her new role next week at a conference of the Royal Society, one of the world's oldest and most prestigious science organizations.

"She will tell delegates that the recent discovery of hundreds of planets around other stars has made the detection of extraterrestrial life more likely than ever before," Mr. Leake reported, "and that means the UN must be ready to coordinate humanity's response to any 'first contact.'"

Unfortunately, Mr. Leake didn't bother to verify this blockbuster news with Ms. Othman.

"It sounds really cool, but I have to deny it," Ms. Othman told a reporter for The Guardian, one of The Sunday Times' competitors.

Yes, she said, she heads up the U.N.

Office of Outer Space Affairs (UNOOSA) and, yes, she does expect to address the Royal Society on the political impact an alien encounter might have. But no, she is not the official greeter.

Good thing, too, sniffed the people at SETI, the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence Institute in Mountain View, Calif. "We consider it our job and have for many years to cover this topic," Paul Davies, SETI's chairman told MSNBC. He added, "We do welcome the interest of the U.N.... If they knew what they were doing, I would be slightly more confident."

This is true. If there's anything science fiction has taught us, it's that bad things might happen if (when) aliens arrive. We're thinking specifically here about the giant robot-monster things that chased Tom Cruise in "War of the Worlds," but the Keanu Reeves remake of "The Day the Earth Stood Still" was pretty bad, too, in many ways.

Like SETI, we're not sure the United Nations is up to the task. Its peacekeeping missions on Earth often don't work out too well (e.g., Rwanda, Darfur) and besides, the aliens would have to land near a five-star hotel in Geneva before the U.N. hierarchy would swing into action.

Meanwhile, back in England, Mr. Leake has filed a legal complaint about The Guardian's story that debunked his story. Still no word on whether the Earth's official greeter will have to wear a blue vest and offer the aliens shopping carts.

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