Keep Talking, Herman Cain

Connie, I know exactly what you mean. When I was 28, I was up for a big promotion in my company. The regional VP who had originally hired me into the company came into town and invited me to dinner and afterward tried to lure me into his hotel room, including pinning me against the wall and kissing me, all the while telling me he "could really help me get that job." I didn't report it -- and I got the job. However, he spread rumors throughout the company that I was having an affair with my boss (gee, why else would I have refused him?). I spoke to a female executive privately and she encouraged me to stay "nose down, ass up" and just work hard, because reporting it would just make me look weak. If that VP ever ran for president I would absolutely come forward with my story -- and not for money!

Thank you for this column; Herman Cain, who I had hoped (past tense) would be the Republican candidate, has done us all a favor in creating the need for this discussion. He has done us all a favor in showing his true colors. He seems to be fifty years behind times: LBJ never had to worry about getting in trouble for his abuse of women. The times have changed, and Herman Cain will discover women, and a growing number of men, will no longer put up with such behavior.

Connie, I, too, was a victim of sexual harassment in the workplace -- at a newspaper. My boss was leering and talking about my boyfriend and I in a weird voice. I was in my early 20s and I didn't even realize right away what was going on... It was during my internship and first professional newspaper position so I couldn't even put into words why it felt so creepy. I tried to turn him in, but couldn't communicate why what he was doing to me was wrong. It was definitely sexual harassment, which I now interpret and explain as an unhealthy use of power and sexual innuendo by a man over a woman... Or vice versa, I assume. I doubt there are many women in the workplace who haven't experienced this in one way or another. It's another of those issues that stayed far too long in the closet. Thanks for shining some light on it.

Thank you for sharing. Sadly it seems nearly every woman has a story like this. As you said, if one "in-your-face feminist" could be silenced, imagine how difficult it is for those with less self-assurance to speak up.

I truly don't understand why the Cain-apologists cannot see the familiar faces of their wives/daughters/sisters/friends in the brave women who have come forward. We have no reason not to believe these women, yet we have four (and counting) reasons to doubt Herman Cain. Are all women liars to them?

Connie, I've been there and I would bet that every woman who's ever held a job has been there too. Especially women who for whatever reason, really need that job.

Did you speak up when it was Bill Clinton?

Did you speak up when it was Bill Clinton?

The principal of a rural elementary school used to ask me to come into his office. Then he'd close the door and ask me -- a very naive new teacher -- to massage his neck and back. At the time, I thought, "Oh, the poor man! He's so fat that his back must be killing him," so I gave him massages (fully clothed). He never said anything else weird, and I was too ignorant to realize he was asking for something that was totally inappropriate.

I, too, was sexually harassed in the early 1980's, at a large well-regarded law firm. At that time, I think most women working in jobs that had been traditionally held by men, experienced some form of sexual harrassment. Men just didn't think it was a big deal. Of course, it WAS a big deal to me. I believed Anita Hill, and I believe the women accusing Cain now. This has NOTHING to do with partisanship.
Thank you for sharing your own experience, Connie.

As Connie candidly points out there is an army of us women who know the familiarity of truth when we hear it

Another gutsy column, Connie. Thank you for hitting Send.

Re: Eleanor
Of course she did.

While I'm glad that our society no longer looks the other way when these things happen, they are still hard to prove, unless there are witnesses, these kinds of accusations remain allegations. Unfortunately, that same society seems to have no trouble destroying people over unproven allegations. Especially in situations that seem to conveniently demean people who are trying get elected. The burden of proof shouldn't be on Cain. Whether these things actually occurred or not, he is probably toast. That's wrong. If they can be proven to be true, he should be prosecuted, not persecuted. If this is a smear campaign, which until these allegations are proven, that's just what it is. What does it say about our country when anybody can just come forward (15 years later) start pointing fingers, and bring someone down? I find myself ashamed of the things that go in the name of politics, and the people who will shamelessly jump on the bandwagon in the name of their personal causes. We have laws in this country, they are constantly ignored for agendas.

Mr. Cain has offended some people's sensitivities and senses of morality with the airing of the charges. Ms Bialek's remarks offended my sense of decency; the explicit details of what she says happened to her are totally inappropriate for public broadcast. I sincerely question her motivation for doing so. Quite frankly, I have more compassion for the others who have the decency to keep private information private.

So many women I know have experienced something like this including myself. Single mothers might as well have 'victim' stamped on their foreheads because it is known they need their jobs and fear losing them. When we are young, it's easy to feel intimidated by a powerful executive and the powerful executive knows it. Perhaps it's because many women have relented that they think it's perfectly within their rights to make inappropriate comments, suggestions, touching, etc. At least today there are policies in place at most companies (still rather limited) when this kind of thing happens. Our mothers and grandmothers had no such avenues, having to find other jobs after spurning the advances of this type of clod. Helen Gurley Brown was on a talk show at one time addressing how to deal with unwanted advances from a boss. Although sounding rather retro, sexist and right out of a Roz Russell movie, she demonstrated a confident, lighthearted response that sent her message while bolstering the offenders ego. Maybe in an alternative universe that would work.

I was sexually propositioned in the 90's by Mayor Roberts of Medina, Ohio. I was beginning my career in sales at Northern Ohio Live, a local culture magazine. We did 'Cityscapes,' where we worked with mayors and chambers of commerce to highlight a city in our subscription area, backed with local advertising. This was the first big project I was in charge of. I was psyched.
When I was in his closed-door office giving my presentation, we wasn't listening to me. He was searching for something in his desk. He finally found it, and came over to the sofa I was sitting on. He then showed me a post card sent from France with naked women on it. He asked me what I thought about it. I was in shock. It was so surreal. I told him, in a shaky voice, that I don't see how that postcard had anything to do with the Cityscape project. He then told me that he was trying to look for a photo of him when he stormed the Normandy beach on D-Day, because he was a war hero, but couldn't find it, so since the postcard was from one of his buddies in France, it opened the conversation to discuss his service in WW2. Again, he told me he was a war hero and sacrificed much for this country. He then continued to tell me about the violent battles he endured. I told him I had to go to another appointment, and said I'd schedule another meeting with my sales manager to finalize the agreement. He said that I didn't have to bring my sales manager. I was a 'big girl' and should be able to handle a project on my own, isn't that what my boss would want? He then put his hand on my knee, and told me that he'd sign off on the project, just as long as I was willing to work really hard.
I was horrified and so confused. What just happened, I thought.
I went back to the office in tears. I was so embarrassed. I told my sales manager, publisher and owner of the magazine. Two men, one woman. They all acted as if it was no big deal. I was told by all three of them that it's just something that happens, I should just be strong, ignore it, and 'sell the hell' out of the project. I can do it. A professional rises above such things. My boyfriend at the time even asked what I was wearing.
I was so confused, and felt guilty that I was letting this upset me so much, when these older professionals were basically telling me just to deal with it. I kept questioning myself - was this really not that big of a deal?
It had been over a week and I still did not re-schedule a meeting with the Mayor. I was too afraid. I was then reminded by my company that the special section, the very first I was in charge of, was already budgeted into the issue, so I had to get 'on the ball.' In my dismay and confusion I just quit (and quit the boyfriend, too), and felt so guilty that I was not strong enough to rise above this.
A year later, Mayor Roberts was served a paternity suit by his secretary. The secretary was blamed for being a hussy. He retired.
I did not feel at that time that I had enough proof or support to report this to anyone. Who were they going to believe? So, I let it rest. The indifferent treatment of my own employer convinced me that no one was interested in my 'uncomfortable' experience. And, I even convinced myself that it wasn't 'that' bad, and no 'actual' harassment took place.
So, I kept silent. I felt that if I pursued this, I'd appear as a whiny little girl who couldn't handle things in the big world. If I reported it, I'd be labeled as a 'problem" and would not get another job. I felt guilty that I even had a problem with it in the first place. How can I explain to another employer why I left so suddenly? There was nothing I could do. What could I gain? No amount of money can erase those creepy, violated feelings that since altered my trust. There is no price for someone forced to question herself like that.
I completely believe these women and understand why they are just coming out now. I didn't do anything. But, If Mayor Roberts decided to run for President, and other women were coming forward, I would finally have the courage as well to come out after 14 years.
I am angered at those who are blaming the victims, citing that that there were no other witnesses. Sexual predators know what they are doing. They are masters at manipulation. They know what they are doing is wrong. Why and how the heck would a pervert do something in full view of witnesses? Vast conspiracy? Hardly. People need to understand that it is extremely hard, embarrassing and painful. No one who has been victimized wants extra attention and ridicule. They have been through enough already. Anyone who refuses to try to understand has their head in the sand.
In the light of this and Penn State, it is shocking and sad to see that people will blindly defend someone they believe in, because it's quite hard to admit to themselves that their invested impression of them is wrong. Quite selfish.
Thank you so much for this article, Ms. Schultz. Thank you for giving me the courage to speak out, if only on this board. And, thank you for your courage. Bravo.

Dear Connie, when I worked at GMAC a long time ago my boss leaned over my desk, talked about what "cream" I wanted in my coffee and came to my apartment ( I was a young single mother of two small boys) and exposed himself. My lawyer who was supposed to be helping me get child support ( it never happened) also groped me in his office and told me the judge would not assign another lawyer to help me. I so believe Anita Hill and other women, it has all happened to me, and there were no laws on the books in the 70's to help. I needed my job.

First of all, Ms Schultz, thank you for confirming that you are a liar. Given that, how can one believe the rest of your story? How do we know that you are not making all this up for your liberal cohorts and your editorial career, since now we know that you are a liar?
Now, let's say that your story is true.
Does it have any effect on the veracity of these other women's allegations against Herman Cain?
They could be true, of course.
They could also be a mixture of a true allegation and copycats seeking publicity or financial enrichment, or even a conspiracy of political enemies.
We have seen many true stories of women who were treated terribly in the workplace, and for that, punishment should be severe and swift.
But we have also seen false accusations, even fake rape charges that have put innocent men in jail for years.
Your story, though it appeals to many on an emotional level, has no effect on whether these allegations against Herman Cain are true.
Let the investigations take their course, and let all Americans be innocent until proven guilty.
Or is that too much to ask?

Well being a woman and having a former boss who was the owner of the company harass me even though I couldn't prove it, I told him just where he could go and walked out.

I find that it seems to be very suspicious that they wait till Cain runs for President of the United States before they came forward since he was in a high profile CEO position and with very big companies. I do not believe these companies would have continued to hire him with that high of a rate of harassment complaints where they would have to dole out money to women who continually complained about him.

Darlene

Connie "Fat Ass "Schultz, wow you won an award for being un attractive and fat! And having ugly kids with sgt. Ed "the Moron " Schultz! Please stop! Your so wrong at every turn!