Another Stupid Theory About Women

Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell graciously has supplied new material for my book about American women, titled "Myths, Stupid Theories and Deep-Down Dirty Lies: Why Women Should Rule the Earth and Control the Volume, Too."

Rendell's recent contribution brings me to Chapter 4,237. My, it's something how a book almost can write itself.

At last week's National Governors Association conference in Philadelphia, the ever-loquacious Democrat was onstage chit-chatting before a live microphone at Independence Hall. You might recall that then-candidate Barack Obama delivered his speech about race just footsteps away from that same hall. This time, though, the pronouncement from the podium was a little less profound. On a scale of 1 to 10, it ranked between zero and just plain dumb.

Rendell was apparently unaware that the microphone at the lectern was live. It's a puzzle how a longtime politician wouldn't suspect that every microphone is turned on, but life is full of mysteries, which is why so many of us pray.

Anyway, Rendell was sharing his views on why Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano is a swell pick for Homeland Security chief.

"Janet's perfect for that job," he said. "Because for that job, you have to have no life. Janet has no family. Perfect. She can devote, literally, 19, 20 hours a day to it."

Open mic, insert penny loafer.

This got CNN's Campbell Brown going in a recent commentary, let me tell you.

"If a man had been Obama's choice for the job, would having a family or not having a family ever even have been an issue?" she asked. "Is there an assumption that if you're family-free, then you have no life? By some, yes."

She chastised Rendell. "Your comments do perpetuate stereotypes that put us in boxes, both mothers and single women."

I don't have a bone to pick with Brown, but she could lighten up on the governor just a bit. He was, after all, fully behind Hillary Clinton in her quest for the Democratic nomination for president. He saw firsthand what happened to a woman who years ago let herself be derailed by the demands of family life.

Don't we all wonder what Hillary Clinton could have been if she hadn't spent all those months matching lids to sippy cups? Now to mention all the brain cells that die with every hunt for the blankie.

What does Hillary Clinton have to show for all her dithering over diapers and Desenex? She's a U.S.

senator and the next secretary of state. She also was the first viable female candidate for president and is one of the most famous people in the world. Talk about squandering your potential on onesies.

Slacker.

Rendell insists he was misunderstood. His spokesman, Chuck Ardo, told The Philadelphia Inquirer that his boss's comments "simply referred to the demands of the new position that (Napolitano) is going to take. He believes that public servants at that level of government have no lives, including himself."

This must be news to Rendell's wife, Judge Rendell, and his son. I trust they've had their own off-mic chat with the good governor and we won't be hearing any more of his theories on how families suck ambition dry or about the bleak and lifeless landscape of single women.

This brings me to a point so obvious it's embarrassing to have to say it out loud. There are all kinds of ways women find life worth living, and a growing number of them don't have to marry or breed to know their lives matter. The most wearying part of many single women's lives is erroneous assumptions about what they're missing. Several of my single friends wryly note that the unkindest cuts often erupt from their unhappily married friends.

Rendell is right if he thinks marriage entangles lives, especially for women. What he forgot to mention is how clever we are at sorting and cobbling. Maybe Campbell Brown can ask him about that when he's on her show next time.

Meanwhile, I still am trying to figure out whether Rendell's comments should go in my "Myths" section or the one on stupid theories. My deadline is flexible because I can finish this book only when I run out of material.

That may take a while.

Connie Schultz is a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist for The Plain Dealer in Cleveland and the author of two books from Random House: "Life Happens" and "… and His Lovely Wife." To find out more about Connie Schultz (cschultz@plaind.com) and read her past columns, please visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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