Always, Women Must Pray a Little Harder

Nearly 300 Afghan women endured jeers and stones last week as they rallied to demand that Parliament repeal a new law that strips Shiite women of crucial rights.

"Get out of here, you whores!" men shouted. "Get out!"

But the women stayed.

Under the new law, a woman cannot refuse to have sex with her husband, which the protestors say legalizes marital rape.

No, no, no, said Ayatollah Mohammed Asif Mohseni, who told Reuters the law merely allows husbands to refuse to feed their wives if they deny them sex.

Of course, that means the women eventually could starve, as the law also requires them to get their husbands' permission to earn a living. Or to get an education.

There is historic irony here, as New York Times reporter Dexter Filkins wrote last week. The law applies only to Afghan Shiites, who make up close to 20 percent of the population and suffered horrendously under the Taliban.

The Shiites are "enjoying a renaissance" now. So what do they do with their newfound freedom? They oppress their women.

Another cleric, Mohammed Hussein Jafaari, told Filkins this is merely a case of the professionals tending to the nonprofessionals.

"It's like if you are sick, you go to a doctor, not some amateur," Jafaari said in explanation. "This law was approved by the scholars."

Not even remotely coincidentally, all the religious scholars are men.

Yet again, I am left to wonder why most religious conservatives of any faith interpret sacred writings to include permission to oppress their women.

America's fundamentalists are less harsh, but still, their motto for women tends to be: Just Stay Home.

Dennis Prager, a popular conservative Jewish radio host and columnist, argues that "the feminist emphasis on career has been an obstacle to many women's happiness." We derive our greatest happiness from relationships, not work, he says, which is why we are meant to be at home.

Even if we cherish relationships, our employment doesn't exactly sequester us to faraway caves.

James Dobson, the founder of the conservative Christian group Focus on the Family, has long stressed that married women with school-age children belong at home. Except, and this is a big one as "except" goes, if you're a Republican mother running for vice president.

It was hard to ignore during the presidential campaign that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin was a working mother with underage children, but Dobson managed to do it in a radio interview last year, even when she mentioned that they did homework on the campaign trail.

He told her he was a great fan.

Fortunately, every religion has leaders who believe in the inclusive nature of God, which is why women like me never give up believing. On Easter Sunday, I hung on every word of the Rev. Bob Gross of Lake Avenue United Church of Christ, in Elyria, Ohio, who tackled the typical interpretation of Scripture that describes Mary and two other women fleeing in fear after discovering Jesus' empty tomb.

"Keep in mind," Gross said, "that it was the women who had the courage to show up. All of the disciples were hiding in fear behind locked doors."

What a response to the usual suggestion that the women weren't quite up for the Resurrection.

The next day, I attended a Seder hosted and led by my young friend Wendy. The only males at the table were a father and his infant son. I've celebrated Passover many times with Jewish friends, but this was a first for me.

We took turns reading from the Haggada, one woman after another recalling the story of the Jews' deliverance from death during the time of Moses. I watched Wendy lead us in song and prayer, and I thought about how some who share her religion would find her role at the head of the table unthinkable.

I sang a little louder, prayed a little harder.

Connie Schultz is a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist for The Plain Dealer in Cleveland and the author of two books from Random House: "Life Happens" and "… and His Lovely Wife." To find out more about Connie Schultz (cschultz@plaind.com) and read her past columns, please visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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