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Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz
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Iraqis Angry That U.S. Forgot Anniversary of War

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Iraqi citizens, already furious at the United States for a host of issues, are now miffed that the U.S. apparently forgot the fourth anniversary of the war there, sources said today.

Across the war-torn nation, Iraqis expressed a range of emotions from dismay to outright anger at the U.S. for failing to recognize the fourth anniversary of the March 2003 invasion.??

And while Sunnis and Shiites have found little to agree about as sectarian violence has surged in recent weeks, they both seemed in accord about one thing today: The United States should have at least sent flowers. ??

"A fourth anniversary is a big deal, and it should have been marked with a tasteful bouquet," said Tikrit resident Hassan El-Medfaai, 47. "Apparently, this anniversary means a lot more to us than it does to them."??

At the White House, aides were scrambling to make amends with the Iraqi people over the apparent omission, with President Bush reportedly suggesting that the U.S.

send an "I Wuv You" bear and a Mylar balloon with the words "Mission Accomplished" on it. ??

But in an interview on Fox News, Vice President Dick Cheney defended the U.S.'s failure to recognize the anniversary, telling reporters, "When we invaded four years ago, the Iraqis didn't greet us with flowers, either."??

Vice President Cheney added that a fourth anniversary is not "a major one," and that the U.S. would still be in Iraq to celebrate the 25th.

Elsewhere, the Department of Homeland Security raised the nation's terror alert level based on reports that Britney Spears had checked out of rehab.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the new book "The Republican Playbook," to be published October 2007. To find out more about Andy Borowitz and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2007 CREATORS SYNDICATE


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