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McCain Propose Tax Holiday for Beer Heiresses
Says Brewery Scions Could Lead Economic Revival Presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain unveiled details of his economic policy today, telling an audience in Ohio that if elected, he would support a real-estate tax holiday for beer …
Cindy McCain Robot Gets New Head
State-of-the-Art Head Stores 2,000 Recipes "We have the technology." That was the message out of the McCain camp today as Sen. John McCain unveiled a newly refurbished Cindy McCain robot, featuring a state-of-the-art replacement head. …
McCain Vows to Campaign in All 13 Colonies
Republican presidential nominee John McCain officially kicked off his general election campaign today, promising to bring his race for the White House to “all 13 colonies.” At a campaign stop in the Dominion of Virginia, Sen. McCain said that if his …
Straight Man Accidentally Sees "Sex and the City": "Terrifying" Experience, Says Home Depot Clerk
A self-styled heterosexual man from Akron, Ohio, said today that he was "traumatized" over the weekend after attending a showing of the new Sarah Jessica Parker film "Sex and the City." Hendrick Colton, 34, said that he bought a …

BY ANDY BOROWITZ

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Originally Published on Saturday May 10, 2008

Andy Borowitz's column is released once a week.

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