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Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz
19 Mar 2011
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Rev. Wright Launches Own 24-Hr. Channel; All Wright, All the Time, Preacher Promises


Pronouncing himself "thrilled" with his recent spate of media appearances, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright announced today that he will launch his own 24-hour channel that will feature nothing but himself all day long.

Coming off his appearance with PBS's Bill Moyers and his televised speeches before the NAACP and the National Press Club, the preacher said that "one thing is abundantly clear: People just can't get enough of me on television."

By launching WrightTV, the minister said, "It is my sincere hope that I can quench the public's seemingly limitless thirst for hearing me talk."

While some media experts wondered whether Rev. Wright could produce enough content to fill a 24-hour channel, the preacher assured that "that won't be a problem at all."

"Once those cameras are on, I'll start talking," he said. "A bigger problem will be getting me to stop."

The minister added that it would take at least two weeks for the channel to launch but said that in the interim he would schedule a series of other television appearances, on such programs as "Jeopardy," "Dancing with the Stars" and the hit teen drama "Gossip Girl."

While the Obama camp had no official comment on the Rev.

Wright's new television channel, the concept got a ringing endorsement from another leading Democrat, Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY). "Speaking for myself, whenever I turn on the TV and see that the Rev. Wright is on, I am overjoyed," she said.

Elsewhere, Miley Cyrus said Vanity Fair's topless photos of her were "even more embarrassing" than being Billy Ray Cyrus' daughter.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book "The Republican Playbook." To find out more about Andy Borowitz and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at


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